Karen T.

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So the cravings have gone away, for the most part.  I do try to fast forward all the food commercials, which seems to be every 3 out of 4...aaaaah!

My blood sugar has been slightly above what the dr. office said since surgery, but I wasn't worried about it at all.  Yesterday I finally, for the first time since I got home from the hospital, hit my 64 oz of fluid.  I was so stoked!  I figured that would improve my blood sugar even more.  So imagine my surprise this morning when it registered 230!!!!  I have (previous to surgery) eaten 2 pieces of cake and not hit that number.  I called the dr.'s office right away and they advised me to go back on one of my medications.

I am bummed, but not completely surprised.  Based on the numbers I posted at the hospital before I left I had a feeling the big bad diabetes hadn't gone away completely yet, but I still hoped, and fought the good fight.

The goal I am currently working on is time management.  I have tried very hard to get on a schedule with the eating, and the water, etc. and every day I have flubbed it somehow.  Time just flies by when you aren't looking.  I am trying to do the every two hour gig, but waiting 1/2 hour b4 I eat and after I eat to get fluids in totally throws me off.

Practice will make perfect? 

So I have a huge mix of emotions going on right now.  I have a major roadblock about food, it all tastes yuck to me.  I am super craving everything I shouldn't have.  My stomach may not be craving it, but my mind and my tastebuds are.  I have moments where I am ticked off that I had to come to this and that I will never get to have certain foods again.  I read this on other peoples blogs, about missing food...and I didn't get it.  I have never been a binge eater just sitting around at home, so I thought it wouldn't affect me.  I am hopeful when I actually start seeing some results my thoughts will change but right now I am tired and cranky.

On an upbeat note, I went to the Monster Jam truck show last night.  Had fun with the family.  I did borrow my brothers scooter though, to navigate, and was very thankful I did.  When we first arrived I thought I was going to pass out.  I drank some carnation breakfast drink and bounced back quickly.  I was semi tortured by the popcorn and pretzels but made it through.

I am going to have to call the doctor today.  The pharmacy gave me capsules for my gall bladder medication and I don't know if it has enough time in my stomach to actually work.  I tried, last night, to open up the capsule and dissolve it in water and drink it...yeeeeuck!   Won't be doing that again.  Hehehehe.

I just registered 161 on my blood sugar and I am supposed to call the dr. if it is over 150.  I would love to know why if I am not eating hardly anything,and certainly nothing that is bad for me why the sugar is still high?  Is this Murphy's law for me?  All this time, money, and trouble and I will be the one who still has diabetes?   I am going to go to the main forum and see if anyone else had this problem.

It's so wild to think that I was operated on only two days ago.  I am at my moms recuperating.  I have an upset stomach, but considering everything going on in there I am not suprised.  The day of surgery is mostly a blur.  I remember going in of course,and I remember saying I needed to throw up in recovery and the nurses said..no you don't there isn't anything to throw up, and they were right.

The rest of the day I was on the morphine pump.  I remember pain, but not overly so. I got up to walk about 5 hours after surgery and had a bad bout of naseau, but they gave me something for it and I haven't had any more since, thank goodness.  I  think I hit the pump more in the early hours of the next day.  I was brought down to radiology by 9 am, the barium stuff wasn't as bad as i thought, it tasted more like cough syrup than anything.  They took some pictures, sent me back to the room (where i took a shower)and came back for more pictures around 11.  Everything looked good so I was approved for water.  Ah, sweet, sweet, water.  I got up and did my walking and then had part of a popsicle.  I was suprised how I really didn't want it.  They tell you here's s a popsicle, take 30 minutes to eat it, and you will only be able to eat half of it.  I was thinking,,,yeah right, but then it was true.

This morning I was given oatmeal and pureed banannas for breakfast.  Baby food is not my ideas of bananans.  I ate about an ounce of the oatmeal.  Considering I really don' t like oatmeal I thought I did well. 

After I got my snack, a shake that I must have drank at least 2 ounces of, I was able to go home!  The drive home wasn't too bad, considering I get carsick as a passenger normally.

The barium was the cause of the first case of Montezumas revenge, but I think until I get off of smushed foods it will be around.

Can't wait to see where this journey takes me. 

Well in less than 12 hours I will be in the operating room.  Most of my fears were relieved on the pre op visit, but I still have some butterflies in my stomach.  Or is that just the stuff they gave me beforehand to try and kill me first?  Heh.

The taste of the solution was not great, to say the least.  But the no food for two days about did me in.  Ever notice how there is nothing but commercials for food when you can't have any?

I want to thank all those who have reached out from this website.  It means a lot to know that people are thinking about you.  I will post as soon as I can after surgery.

Had my pre-op visit today.  I really can't say enough about the people that work at the hospital.  They are awesome.  Not only are they previous patients and inspirational by their success, they are totally efficient.  My brother was in a local hospital about a month ago for a week and it was scary how inefficient they were.  Then to go up to Floyd for this pre-op visit I felt like I had hit the jackpot.

I asked the questions I had thought of and felt much better after talking to both the PA and the nurses.  I, like I am sure most, have been very stressed this past week thinking of what if's.  I counted the amount of people I know personally who have had this done and couldn't come up with any that had major complications so that calmed me also.

Now if I can get some sleep in the next couple of days that would be terrific.  I keep dreaming about work of all things.  If I accomplished as much during work hours as I do in my dreams, well, I wouldn't be dreaming about work I am sure....lol.

I am still scared and excited about the surgery.  It seems like it should be farther away but it's just around the corner.  Trying to keep up with the busy Christmas schedule has been exhausting and that doesn't even include any holiday parties (thank goodness).  

I try to imagine what it will be like next year at Christmas time.  It's hard for me to do.  I have no clue how much weight I will actually lose, and am only counting on the orginal 60% they tell you to anticipate.  If that is the case I will be around 170 lbs.  I can't tell you the last time I weighed that....junior high?  It's honestly a little overwhelming to think about.

I have not hidden the fact that I am having the surgery from my immediate friends and family, and some have a mixed reaction..for the most part everyone is 100% supportive.  I have held back from a few family members, since they have never had a weight problem and I don't think they can understand why I have to do this.  And it boils down to this..they can have their opinion but it doesn't matter to me..and I just don't want any negativity thrown my way.

So I went and met with the doctor this a.m. and my surgery is scheduled for January 7, 2008.  I couldn't schedule it any sooner because of end of year work related stuff, and it seemed to work out for the doctors' schedule as well.  I can see where a lot of people that have insurance would want to get the surgery in this year for their deductible.  I don't have any insurance so that part doesn't concern me.  Money this year, money next year it's all the same.

The doctor was very nice and he asked if I had any questions, but really I didn't because I feel like I have been researching this for a looooong time.

Now I just need to make it through the holidays and as the Dr. put it "don't have one long last supper."