Collar bones, shoulder blades, hormones....oh my!

Oct 17, 2010

I am down at least 55 pounds!!! I say at least because I havent gotten on the scale in awhile. I forget. Is it bad that I dont want to tell people I have lost 55 pounds? ugh! I cant believe that I had 55 pounds to lose, and that I still have another 55 or so more to go!

BUT anyway, I have collar bones and shoulder blades!!!!! I have been able to feel my collar bones since I lost the first 20 pounds,but not i can SEE them! Shoulder blades! I can see those too!! I was holding up a little mirror to look at the back of my hair and there they were, shoulder blades!!! who knew?!

Can we talk about these hormones! I mean I guess at least I have something to blame my thinking on! I truly expected to be miserable and unhappy and a bitch in general. BUT that is not the case!! woo hoo right?! no....! I have a boyfriend, for 3.5 years! He is wonderful! He is the one I want to marry and have babies with, he is the love of my life! He loved me when I was fat and no one else did!  But I like the attention from other guys! I like it entirely too much( have never acted on it though!) These guys would never have given me a second or even first  look 4 months ago.

Everything is mostly great with my bf! Except that I am ready to move forward, I graduated with my bachelor's degree in 08, Ive had a big girl job for about a year and a half, I will be finished my Masters degree on Thursday (yay me!) I am ready to get move forward. And he says hes is, hes just needs to save for a ring. (his words) He works at a bar, and is a photographer for the paper, and does photography for himself. So he has a mostly steady income, and he did just graduate with his Bachelors in May.  And dont get me wrong, I am willing to wait, its just that all this other attention is making it VERY hard to want to wait. I have been going out a lot more to bars and parties and just out in general, and he doesnt come cuz when you work at a bar or are the photographer at a wedding your weekends dont include going out. But he sees my confidence now and the way other people look at me, and I think it worries him. And I have told him, ya know what would make guys know that I am taken?! A very beautiful diamond on my left finger...just saying. And he laughs. I know he wants to get me the ring I deserve I know he isnt dragging his feet cuz he isnt sure or doesnt want to. Its just hard to wait, especially now with all this outside attention.

Hormones! ugh!!!!!!

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