lissapayne

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Well, a little over a month to go to get my official weigh-in again. I can't wait! I am noticing more loose skin! WOOHOOOOO!I am also able to fit into much smaller clothing than before and loving it! I go for short walks every afternoon plus working on lifting some small weights to help with my arm flabbies. I feel SO WONDERFUL every single day and I am so glad that I had this surgery! It is an awesome experience. I am not even camera shy anymore! I know I am right now so much bigger than alot of people who are just beginning their journey of weight loss. But to me it is a miracle! I can actually get up and do things for myself, and dont feel as helpless as I used to feel. I love becoming more independent and happy every single day! I have had several family members that hadn't seen me since I had surgery and they were amazed at how different I looked! I will write more later as things develop!

Just checking in to let everyone know how I am doing. I am losing hair like rain*LOL I have also learned how tasty and healthy tofu can be. I am trying to get protein in any way I can. I am praying this hair loss slows down. But other than that, I am feeling wonderful! I do have a few issues that I am trying to deal with. One of which is a severe guilty feeling everytime I eat ANYTHING. I know that is just an old feeling coming back to haunt me after years and years of being overweight. But I know I will get over this in time. I seem to be obsessed with what I eat, calorie counting and so on. I dont think I actually eat as much as I am supposed to most of the time. Regardless I am feeling healthier and happier than I have ever felt in my life! Thank you so much to Dr. Husted for his life saving surgery procedure! I would do it again in a heartbeat to feel this good! Later!

Well, seems like I am feeling much better the last few days! I am starting to focus more on getting more water, and trying to move around and exercise a bit. I still get amazed at how many people stare at me when I am sitting in my car, and I just want to say "IF YOU HAD ANY IDEA WHAT I HAVE GONE THROUGH TO BE SMALLER" .....but oh well, I suppose there will always be people like that in life.*S I have noticed I feel more like getting out of the house now days. I like to get in the car and go places every day, and that is pretty new to me since I was pretty much stuck at home for almost a year due to my weight. I can't wait for the day I lose enough where I can start going into stores again. It has been almost 7 years since I actually stepped foot into a store. *Gives me something to look forward to though*:)

08/21/01
Well, I am glad to report I am doing great. I am actually getting out every single night and taking a walk. A short walk mind you, but A WALK NONETHELESS!*LOL It feels so good to be able to move around. It is heaven! I had a scare a couple of days ago and had some problems getting my food to go down. All I could think of was "I'm gonna have to have endoscopy" but it passed eventually and I am back to feeling like a million bucks! I am still losing weight. Starting to notice alot of skin that is wrinkly! which normally would freak me out but now I am excited because that is the result of losing fat and having extra skin now! Something is twisted about being excited about loose skin but honey I'm there*LOL I got my Zoloft (for depression) levels back up to normal and that has really helped the depression stuff. I even took two walks today*LOL Update more later on!

 

 

 

HOORRRAAYYYYY!!! Went in for my 8 week post op checkup and I am down  lbs! WOOO HOOOOOOO!!!! *happy day!!!!!!**

07/23/01
Hello again. Back in the Depression mode. I dont feel like the weight is coming off. I know it is, but sometimes I guess you just need to see it. I can't weigh on a regular scale because of my size, so I dont get to weigh again until November 15th, my next Dr.s Visit. Kinda bad when it's that way. Anyway, I am doing pretty well, still not finding myself very hungry often times. One day something will go down so easy, the next day it makes me sick. Oh well, Back to the old water bucket to try to get more liquids!!!!*LOL

 

07/27/01
Does this depression thing ever let go of a person? sheeeshhh! I am still very depressed. I feel like I'm not losing anymore, but I know I am. Just seem like everything makes me so sad lately. *sigh..Maybe I will snap out of it soon!

 

OKay, I am still doing really well, no nauseau, I can tolerate any of my liquids. I can even tell I am losing weight. But I am so depressed I can hardly make myself get up every day. It seems like the world is at an end. I am at this wonderful change in my life where I should be happy and excited, but I just can't get there. I know it is normal and I really hope it passes. I dont want to be a sad person. If I had a reason to be, I would understand it more. Oh well, I get to weigh again on July 12th, and I am really looking forward to that. A big weight loss officially should help me perk up!

06/14/01
The depression is much better now. I seem to be coming around. I have finally got to the point I am getting at least 60gms of protein a day and that has really made a difference. I am also learning to get my fluids down. I can tell I am losing and I can't wait to get weighed again on July 12th.

 

 

I had all my pre-op testing today. I want to say that BAPTIST HOSPITAL IN NASHVILLE is the best! I have never been treated so kindly and consideratly. Because of my size, I needed alot of extra help and they were more than happy to help me. I want to thank them all! Especially Norman who helped me with the upper GI! He made me feel very comfortable. The testing itself was nothing big at all! I was so worried but all of it was easy and painless. I had an EKG, echocardiagram, chest xrays, upper GI, and bloodwork. I will admit my Nerves are gone now*LOL
I only have five more days! I will post more soon.Okay, I am starting to have a panic attack now. Though I am very proud to say I have an angel now! Pam Weber! That helps me alot! I am kinda scared because I have been thinking about my talk with the anesthesiolist(hope I spelled that right) and he was telling me that they will have to insert the breathing tube while I am still awake due to my size. I will however be sedated so I am sure It will be fine. Just that I am starting to sit here and think and worry and think and worry.*LOL They are also going to try to do my surgery with me raised up a bit at the head so that my weight will not put added pressure on my lungs. I guess I am just having the last minute panic attack.*smile I am still going to go through with it. I have worked for over a year now to get here and I know if I can get through this surgery My life will be wonderful and I will be able to live again. I will post again before surgery on Monday.

Well, Here I am, about to take the big plunge.*S I am really kind of numb right now emotionally. I think perhaps I am in shock?*LOL I am hoping that God will watch over me and send me home safely to my 8 year old son without any problems. He is very excited about my surgery too! This way, he and I can do lots of things together. I guess I wont be posting for a couple of weeks, but I will as soon as I am able I promise. SEE YA ON THE OTHER SIDE!!!!!!!!!!! Pray for me!

I AM HOME! I got to come home on 5/20/01 only after five days! My surgery went great! I am having no problems so far and tolerating everything really well. I can't wait till I can work off all this stiffness and soreness from the actual surgery though. I will write more as I am able to sit up more*S

Today was my first appt. after having the surgery. I have lost  lbs in just 2 weeks! I am so excited now! I am also glad I decided to do this surgery! I can now look forward to my future!

 

 

5-1-01
I HAVE A SURGERY DATE!!  It is set for 8:00am on May 15th! I do all my pre-op testing on May 9th and then I just check in on the night before surgery. I am both terrified and excited now. I have dreamed of having this surgery for so long and now it is finally here! It doesn't seem like reality has set in yet though. I will update more after my pre-op.