lsa22yrs
Introduction to this site and the race....
Jan 28, 2011
The day I decided to join this site, I must admit it was out of desperation. I was lost and needed some support, I was crying and feeling like I was being cheated out of something. It all started last week, 01/18/20/11, I weighed myself at the 51 days mark and I was surprised that I lost 32lbs, I said great hope I can make it to 40 at 60 days out. See that is the goal I set for myself, 20lbs a month, even though my nutritionist said 10 lbs, I was like girl forget that! I didn't do this expensive, drastic surgery for 10lbs a month, I could have had a v-8 and called Jenny if I wanted that. I want what you all promised me, EXTREME, DRASTIC weight lost the guranteed 100lbs. Skip forward on day 53 01/20/11, I stepped on the scale and OMG!!!! I gained 3lbs, WTF!!!!!! how can this be I just had surgery, did I stretch my pouch, I know I didn't have a bowel because I am constipated, I have noticed that I am eating more, am I eating too much, I thought this soon , this surgery is suppose to give restriction especially in the first 6 months, what happened to my honeymoon, could I not afford it and had to skip it, was the plane having mechanical difficulties??? All these thoughts put me in full panic mode, I started to sweat, I called my nutrionist ASAP and demanded that I speak to someone, this was a SERIOUS EMERGENCY!!!! When I got her on the phone, I explained and then she explained, she ask me was I eating and drinking this week, I said yes, she said well stop that, she asked me was I getting my proteins in I said, no, she said well work on that, she asked have you been to the bathroom to dump, I said no,. she said well maybe that can be it, she asked, did you exercise, I said, I am getting to that... after her long reasoning, I let her go and decided if Jennifer Hudson can work out 2 days a week and look that FAB that is what I am going to do. So the next 2 days, I worked out, felt great! Buit the more and more I thought about it the more pissed off I became. I am not suppose to work this hard, I took the easy route! WTF, it doesn't help that I based my decision of the fact that I know 2 people who have done this surgery and they look fab, the most important persomn in my life that did this was mommy dearest, I was there through her whole journey, within the first month she lost 25lbs, by the time she was at my stage she was well on her way into 50lbs, she went down at the blink of a eye from a size 24 to a size 6. Even though she was malnourished, I am still envious, I want to look like I was deprived a full year of meals too. bringing me to my closing about how I came to this sit, the stillness of my weigh loss was consuming me of my whole being, I cried , got anrgy and felt pity for myself all at the same time, I wopuld whine to whomever would listen and swaddle me like and infant, finally my mom said "go find a support group, get online, do something, I am worried about you and I don't want you to get into a depression", I said great ideas and came searching. I found yuo Obesity Help.com, I read and BAM! there it was people with the same issues and expectation like myself. I became obssessed with this site, I logged on every chance I got, at work at home, during stop lights, I was fully enthralled with what my fellow commarades had to say. Then just like a brick it hit me, "this is depressing", I thought my case was one in a million, now this really got to me, hearing all the failed attempts and the worries, maybe I should not be logging on to find people like me, but people who are diffferent than me. Who wants to hear people that have reached the year mark and not lost but 50lbs, that is not encouraging me but worrying me, is that going to be me too...... I am laying off, maybe not everyday loggin on, but log on when I am in a real rut.......
