MarthaJ0110

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I am really struggling.... working from home has not been as great as I thought and I find that i am picking more.

have also come to the conclusion that i can not be around wheat thins or pretzels for very long..... sheesh

i guess i am a CARB freak....... help

Hey everyone.....
8 more days and I will be a year out!  I am 122 pounds down.  You would think I would be ecstatic... wouldn't you?????
Then why am I struggling so? The emotional rollercoaster doesn't seem to stop and I cant seem to get off of it.
I'm really down in the dumps ALOT.... The surgery went fine obviously.... altho they tell me I have liver disease NASH, imagine my surprise.  didnt know being fat would cause liver disease. Never been drunk so i was really confused about that. they say there is no cure.  so my thinking is "if i went thru all this and die from liver disease i'm gonna be pissed"

does anyone have these kind of feelings? Or is it just me

Morning ya'll!
Working some overtime this morning and wanted to check in here.  I am now down 95 pounds. I've lost over the combined weight of my 3 1/2 grandkids...... how cool is that? Physically I am ok. The emotions are still raging, I have had to move AGAIN.....2nd time since Thanksgiving, new hours at work and yadda yadda yadda..... we all have stress.
the nodule they found in my lower lung after surgery has not changed so I can put that on the back burner for 6 months or so, but the liver issue (I have NASH)... non alcoholic liver disease.... is on the front burner now. I have to have an ultrasound done and more blood work (i'm thinking 1/3 of weight loss is all the blood you give). They tell me there is no cure for NASH, all you can do is prevent it from getting worse, not sure that is very comforting.  Noone told me that you could get liver disease from being fat.... I don't drink and never have been drunk so imagine my surprise at this tidbit of news.
Another thing is that my mind's eye i am still fat.
OK so how bizaar is this, went to AVENUE.... (chubby people store) and tried on some clothes cause I have nothing to wear that fits me.... I was wearing  a 30/32,   I have on a pair of 22/24 stretch jeans!!!  ME.... can you believe it.... however the girl at the store says... you can wear a smaller size.... UMMMMMM no i cant.... it was like a wall up ... no way i could do it... weird huh?  my head just wouldnt let me do it.  anyone have this problem...?????

Hi All,

Starting the new year 81 pounds lighter, whodda thunk it?  Can't believe I am over 4 months out now.  All the planning and worrying and I am doing good.  I know I lost alot already, but sometimes it doesn't really sink in.

Can't believe I haven't been here since Halloween!

Been crazy busy with work and life in general, but hey.... who hasn't.

I am 67 pounds down now. I need to put some new pics on here. Went to the office Christmas Party and I can't believe I am saying this, I actually wanted to go and see people.  HUGE move for me.  I even went and bought a new outfit for the occasion. I have gone from 30/32 shirts to 22/24, and my boobs went from a DD to a D. Now that was the best thing! Everything is big on me now, even shoes, who da thunk it?
Still having trouble eating enough.... another surprise.... and not drinking enough either, someone turned me on to the "pure protein" bars and I can actually eat them without gagging.  Nutritionist says its ok for me since I am struggling getting the protein down, so I am a happy camper.  No pains or problems for me.... A1C was below 7 last time, so GOODBYE   diabetes meds!!!!!
Lots of changes in the last month with life so I am struggling with emotions again. Holidays are hard enough... but I will get through with the Lord's help!

Take care ya'll, Happy Holidays and keep the faith!

It's been a bit since I've written!  Things are going well, I am down 54 + now, clothes are hanging off me but don't want to spend a ton of money, to only have to do it again soon.  Shoes are even big now.... who da thunk it?
I am a little woozy in the mornings, wondering if its low blood sugar, wouldn't that be a switch.
started phase 4 last week, wow never thought  a carrot and a pickle and some lettuce would taste so good. I am still struggling with getting the protein down tho.

Hi everyone!

Thursday nite I had my first "episode". I thought I was gonna die. I was eating deli turkey which I have eaten before and never had an issue. I don't know what the heck I did. But I can tell you I am scared to death to eat now, for fear of living that nightmare again.
I was at work, and I sat down and still had a few minutes before I had to clock in. I took a bite of turkey and I the pain in my chest was incredible.  My friend kept telling me to walk and move and put my arms up. But I was hyperventilating and was struggling to keep standing.
I cried and shook and it took half hour to get over it.
Someone told me about papaya enzyme.... Has anyone heard of it and does it work?
I'm down 40 pounds now and 4 weeks out.

Happy Saturday!
Ok here is the deal..... I am struggling big time with my emotions....  People say WOW! 34 pounds down, arent you excited?  Ummmm not really.  Please tell me what is wrong with me.  I sit in front of the computer and I cry. Someone looks at me funny and I cry.
I am not in pain at all.  Never had any pain to speak of, cept my tail bone (from those fabulous hospital beds) and in my left shoulder which i am sure was from them pulling on me.  But that's it. Never had to use the Pump. was up and walking around the floor the same night.
I should be excited and happy and all that but I'm not. It's like I've lost myself. Like I dont' know what to do with myself.
HELP>>>>>  Any suggestions?
And yes... I am in counseling.

After 5 months of running around, doing paperwork, tests and meetings it's done! I can't believe it.
I've read books and reviews and I've read other peoples' experiences. Being prepared is great and learning as much as you can is great, but I think it's actually possible to learn too much.... or maybe not learning too much but having too many things in your head. I have learned that everyone's experience is different and I will tell anyone who is considering this surgery to do the research and read all you can but know that you are an individual and your experience will be totally your own.
I was told that I would be in LA-LA land for 2 days and that I wouldn't remember anything from surgery day.... ummmm NOT..... lol, I remember everything up to even when they put my arms on the foamy thing for the knock out drugs, i remember the nurse saying I am putting the oxygen mask on now.
And the Happy Birthday sign on the wall in the operating room!  How's that ya'll! Surgery started 8:14 and Dr talked to my family a little after 10.
No Problems.
Woke up around 4pm.... and that was it. they had no rooms available so was stuck in recovery til 8pm, and trust me I was awake. And i totally remember it all.
8PM-- finally a room.... let me out of this bed!!!  Got up, sat in chair and then took a slow stroll around the nurses station.  So there you go..... all the worry and for no reason. Saturday... drink test and ultrasound on legs.. no problems
Yea finally some water! some more walking lots of visitors... and NO PAIN!
Never used the morphine pump not even once. and haven't had any pain since.
Home on Monday.... and I have been out and about.
So I guess what i want to tell you.... all my worrying and crying was a waste of time....

I just came from the bariatric eating store, great store and great people! I went in cause I heard there are some new products. I am totally traumatized and feeling rather deflated over the taste of the vitamins....... Has anyone else had this experience?  I am sitting there trying all the flavors and thinking "this is gonna kill me".
Any ideas????? H E L P!!!