marymazilla
ABC's
Sep 13, 2010
THE ABCs
By Angel Tammy McFarlane from Cambridge, ON, Canada
A is for anger. Anger at myself that I have failed at so many different weight loss treatments and anger at other people for their lack of compassion. I have tried everything throughout the years. Although I am successful in every other aspect of my life, I have failed miserably at losing weight and keeping it off.
B is for bust. When I eat, my bust is a shelf that catches all crumbs and drips. I always have spots on my shirts instead of in my lap like other people! Forget the pretty, frilly bras that normal sized women wear. My bras are "medieval torture devices". I'm really looking forward to buying bras at Victoria's Secret!
C is for cruelty. We all shake our heads at the cruelty of some people towards others who are different in some way. However, those same people think nothing of making comments about obese people that cut them to the core. "You have such a pretty face….", "why don't you do something about that extra weight?", "what makes a person want to eat so much food?", "are you sure you should eat that?", etc, etc. And then there are the looks of scorn and disgust. So much for appreciating diversity and accepting everybody as they are! That is the biggest joke of all. We take pride in Canada as being a country that embraces all people. We're inclusive, we're respectful of all people, and we really care!! That is, unless you happen to be obese. Then all bets are off.
D is for depression. Being obese is no picnic so to speak. I have struggled with depression for as long as I have struggled with my weight. It is easy to agree with the opinions of others that I am just a weak, undisciplined person. It is hard to find your way out of the dark pit of despair when everyone around you blames you for the condition you find yourself in.
E is for eating. I eat the same things that my family eats. However, binge eating is my downfall and why I am so overweight. Why do I binge? I have no clue but the beauty of weight loss surgery is that it will stop the binge eating. If I overeat, I will throw up. It is that simple. I hate to throw up but I will choose that any day over living with daily binges for the rest of my life.
F is for fun. When you are obese you miss out on a lot of fun. There are activities and events I forego because I either am not physically able to participate or am too embarrassed about my size to want to try.
G is for Genetics. There is obviously some correlation there. Several studies show that children born to obese parents and adopted to thin parents grow up to have a weight problem, or a lifelong struggle to control their weight. I am sick of this battle.
H is for hide. Sometimes I want to just hide away from the rest of the world. Unlike God who sees our inner person, some people seem to actually hate obese people strictly due to their weight. If you doubt this, check out the posts of trolls who love to torment people via various "big people" support groups. People are not neutral about obesity. It is one of the last groups of people who are considered fair game for rude comments and disdain (along with people of religion).
I is for insanity. I'm sure you have heard the definition of insanity sometimes attributed to Einstein, i.e., "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over, and expecting a different result." I am finally through trying the same old weight loss programs. I am leaving the insanity behind and going with the only permanent weight loss solution – weight loss surgery.
J is for jealousy. I am so tired of looking at people of normal weight and feeling envious. I envy their freedom to wear cute clothes, I envy their ability to do fun things with their children like riding a bike, I envy their ease at moving around and fitting in. I could go on and on. If you have never struggled with your weight, I hope you know how blessed you are.
K is for kids. Kids can be even crueler than adults. Adults are usually more subtle in their put downs and condescending ways. With kids, there are no holds barred. Sure, some of the comments are innocent such as "Are you having another baby?". Others are quite the opposite. My son is constantly teased by other kids because of my weight. Of course the reality is that children reflect the views and beliefs of their parents. How sad that parents see nothing wrong with kids hurting other kids with cruel taunts.
L is for love. I love my husband and sons and do not want to die young. The thought of leaving my little boys without a mother is more than I can bear. My sons need me and I want to be here for them for as long as they need me.
M is for money. I obviously spend a lot of money on food and groceries. Also, plus size clothes cost more than normal sized clothes. What a waste of money! I would much rather spend my money on fun vacations, nice things for my home, etc, etc.
N is for nightmare. Being morbidly obese is like being trapped in a nightmare you cannot wake up from. Everywhere you turn there are reminders that you are not "normal" and don't fit in. Living in a society that seems to treasure youth and thinness over all other qualities is definitely a nightmare for me.
O is for ordinary. Thin people have no idea how difficult some ordinary activities can be for obese people. Every aspect of my life is impacted by my weight. It is hard to walk, tie my shoes, put on pantyhose, do chores, etc. Ordinary things that thin people never worry about cause me a great deal of consternation. For example, my son's school had a concert in the gym. I stopped in horror at the bottom of the bleachers as I realized that I was going to have to climb a few rows to get to my seat. I was so afraid that the seats would break under my weight. Or how about those folding chairs they use at various events? Do you ever worry about having the chair break out from under you? I do. Most ordinary people can walk between two parked cars. Not me – I have to turn sideways and sometimes I still get my clothes dirty from rubbing against one of the cars.
P is for pain. Above and beyond the emotional pain of being obese, there is also the physical pain. I am in pain every day of my life. I have pain in my hips, knees, ankles, and feet. And don't forget my back. As I write this, I'm experiencing excruciating pain in my lower back that started 3 days ago. People tell me helpful exercises to improve the muscles of my back but I am not physically capable of doing the very exercises that will help me.
Q is for quack. I've been to a couple of "doctors" who should not be allowed to practice medicine. While there are many excellent doctors who treat bariatric patients, there are also a few slime balls out to make a quick buck on vulnerable people. For example, I went to a doctor whose patients all had thyroid problems! Isn't that amazing? All of us were treated with thyroid pills but guess what? It didn't work. I stopped taking them when my family doctor insisted that I stop taking the pills because they could cause permanent problems and I did not have a thyroid problem to begin with. Then there are the doctors with their miracle vitamins or liquid diets. Please. Why do people keep going to these creeps? Two reasons, desperation and the fact that most legitimate doctors do not know how to treat morbid obesity.
R is for restaurants. Ever try to fit into a booth when you're a size 4X? Many hostesses are very good at casually asking if you would prefer a table. They have seen heavy people unable to fit comfortably in a booth and so try to save you the embarrassment of trying the booth and then having to ask for a table instead. Even so, some restaurant chairs are equally uncomfortable. Some have arms that cut into your hips or thighs and some are just plain flimsy. Then there are the restaurants where tables are squeezed tightly together with very little aisle space. It is so humiliating to try to squeeze by in order to get to your table. I'm sure the other patrons don't appreciate having my chest and rear end squish against them as I walk by either!
S is for sweat. I am miserable because I am so hot all the time. When other people are cold, I am hot and sweaty. I hate having damp undergarments and beads of sweat on my forehead. I can't wait until I can wear all kinds of fabrics again instead of cotton year round!
T is for technology. It is amazing how far weight loss surgery has come in the last few years. It is nothing like the old intestinal bypass operations, which were dangerous and often left the patient with life long health problems. I am so grateful for modern technology including the tools and methods that will allow my surgeon to perform my Roux-en-Y.
U is for ultimatum. In January 2003, my wonderful doctor took my hand and very compassionately told me I was headed for a heart attack, stroke or would end up disabled in a wheel chair if I did not lose weight. Sure, other doctors had talked to me about my weight (many in a condescending manner) but this was the first time I clearly heard "lose weight or else!" from a doctor who really cared about me as a person.
V is for vacations. There are no plus size seats for airplanes, amusement rides, and other tourist attractions where they pack you in like sardines so they can make more money. Turnstiles are really fun too. Luckily I've never gotten stuck in one but I know some people who have to use a separate gate because they can't fit through the turnstile. I love going to tropical locations for vacation. I look forward to enjoying warm sunny places. It is not just the "S is for sweat" aspect; it is also the embarrassment that stops me from wearing a bathing suit. I love to swim but I can't stand the looks from other people who think they are better than me because they are thin.
W is for weight (what else could it be?). I need to lose more than half of my current weight to be considered normal. Obviously there is no quick fix or miracle pill that will solve this problem. Weight loss surgery is serious business and I'm not going into this with my eyes closed. I accept that there will be pain at first. I accept that my life and habits will change dramatically. I accept that I cannot undo this surgery once it is done. I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make this work. If I had a brain tumor I would not hesitate to have what is arguably the most serious form of surgery – brain surgery.
X is for XXXL. All my clothes are 3X or 4X. I hate seeing all those nasty X's! I buy clothes because they fit. I want to get to the point where I buy clothes because I like how they look. I can't wait to stop shopping at the plus size stores (not that there are that many to choose from).
Y is for years. I have wasted too many years trying to find a permanent weight loss solution. I am now in my mid-thirties. I want the rest of my life to be free from weight issues.
Z is for zest. I want to enjoy every day and experience things I have shied away from because of my weight. I want to truly experience what it means to have a zest for life.
put that defeat behind you.
Aug 02, 2010
You're half way, you've admitted defeat. now put that defeat behind you. Do something you've never done before. Walk in a different direction. Write out your feelings to get rid of them, be 110% honest with yourself so, not to enable defeat !
1/2 of my excess is shedded
Jun 15, 2010
my new BMI is : 39.8 so I am no longer extremely obese Just obese Woo HOOOO!
And I have reached a goal of 117lbs lost.
QOTD: What's in you cup? and how do you feel about it?
My cup is full of joy and some protein powder and coffee.
I am glad to shed 117 lbs. and 7 clothing sizes too
Tell the President to get the lead out and "Put a Cork in it!"
Jun 14, 2010
WOW: Some aspects of you life just seem to transform naturally!
May 15, 2010
"I could use the exercise going up and down the steps".
DH eyes got very big but he didn't say anything, Then I realized that a year ago I would have had my DD take the cloths up and down the steps cause I could not do it because of my weight. I said to my hubby :
"that sounds funny that I would say that I need exercise and didn't mind doing some."
He just smile and said yep!.
I even surprised myself with thatstatement. I guess some aspects of your life just seem to transform naturally, And those are the true WOW moments.
To all the golf balls in my life!
May 03, 2010
When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 Beers.To all the golf balls in my life.
A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him.
When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls..
He then asked the students if the jar was full.
They agreed that it was.
The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar He shook the jar lightly.
The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls.
He then asked the students again if the jar was full.
They agreed it was.
The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar.
Of course, the sand filled up everything else.
He asked once more if the jar was full.
The students responded with a unanimous 'yes.'
The professor then produced two Beers from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand.
The students laughed..
'Now,' said the professor as the laughter subsided, 'I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life..
The golf balls are the important things---your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions---and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.
The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.
The sand is everything else---the small stuff .
'If you put the sand into the jar first,' he continued, 'there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.
The same goes for life.
If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you.
Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.
Spend time with your children.
Spend time with your parents.
Visit with grandparents.
Take time to get medical checkups..
Take your spouse out to dinner.
Play another 18.
There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal.
Take care of the golf balls first---the things that really matter.
Set your priorities.
The rest is just sand.
One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the Beer represented.
The professor smiled and said, 'I'm glad you asked.'
The Beer just shows you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of Beers with a friend.
5K in Holland Michigan Meet n Greet
May 02, 2010
We met at the 5K at around 7ish the race started at 8. I passed out Brenda's Powder to every one, we began the race together but Kristy and Pam are much faster(left us in their dust) then Cheryl and I . so as Cheryl and I crossed the finish line, Kristy and Pam were there cheering us across. Cheryl and I were the last of the 5Kers to finish. As a matter of fact they where pulling the 5K signs in as we passed them. LOL.
I finally did one official race. and I finished it. last but I finnished it. Could not have done this one year ago.
We had lunch in an outdoor patio of an Irish pub and after Pam and Kristy were on going to go home. So Cheryl and her family and My hubby and I walked down to the craft fair. (MORE WALKING) As we looked at the crafts Cheryl's group and My DH and I sort of drifted apart. We would pass each other up in the isles every so often. then we saw Cheryl and she said she saw Kristy and Pam and they could not find their car. (hay dude where did I park the car) about 5 minutes later I saw them looking for their car, during our chatabout that Kristy, must have remembered a land mark of where the car was so they went on and DH and I started (MORE WALKING) to our vehicle. After I got into my truck I called to see if Kristy and Pam got to their car, they said they did and were one the road home.
DH and I left for home trailer in tow this am and Cheryl and her family are staying one more day so they Can enjoy a hot air balloon ride tomorrow.
It was fun sorry you all missed it.
Hope you can join us next time.
I think we should plan some thing around Lancing or Saginaw, (Midland maybe) next time,
What do you all think.
And what kind of activities are in that area and when would be a good time to have the next one.
I think August is out cause I am planning the OH conference in OH.
TOP 10 INNER-PERSONAL BENEFITS OF WLS
Apr 21, 2010
TOP 10 INNER-PERSONAL BENEFITS OF WLS
FREEDOM Freedom from shame, guilt, ridicule, embarrassment, and worry. Freedom to move without pain and struggle. Freedom from the control of food. Freedom to dream without limitation.
PEACE OF MIND Peace of mind knowing our HEALTH is the best it can possibly be. Peace of mind that our families will NOT have to go on without us. Peace of mind that we've done all WE can to insure we are around to take care of those
who count on us being there for them.
CHOICES To have unlimited options from which to choose everything from our clothing to our cars, to how we use our bodies and live our lives. Unlimited career options, relationship options, and all around LIFE OPTIONS!
FITTING IN Fitting in any chair, any car, any booth, any seat belt, any store, any bathroom stall, any bathtub or shower, any amusement park ride, any intimate position, any clothing we like, and most of all......... Just plain "fitting in" to society!
OPTIMISM Suddenly life becomes half full instead of half empty. We feel more positive about ourselves, our future, and our life. We react to the world in a more positive light because we are no longer prisoners of our bodies. As we release the demon of food that has controlled us for so long, we accept and forgive ourselves for our own weakness; releasing us to become more tolerant and forgiving of others. Therefore, causing us to feel lighter in body AND spirit.
DIGNITY The dignity that comes with being able to: take care of ourselves, reach for personal hygiene, easily get out of a chair, couch, or car, walk a reasonable distance, not drip with sweat when everyone else isn't, tie our shoes, or pick up what we drop. To be able to climb stairs, or out a window, or pull/lower ourselves or someone we love to safety if a life depended on it.
SELF-CONFIDENCE As we regain our confidence in everyday activities, our confidence grows in our ability to do and try things we've never done before. With each accomplishment, we can see further and believe in ourselves a little more. Life becomes an adventure! Dr. Robert Schuller calls this "The Peak to Peek Principle" and authored a wonderful book by the same name.
SELF-ESTEEM With increased self-confidence we often see increased self-esteem... Our vision of our own self-worth. The more we feel able to contribute, the more we come to believe in ourselves and the value of our place in the world. When we value ourselves, we experience self-respect, increased self-worth or "worthiness", and a higher deserve level. All of which leads to healthier relationships with ourselves and others.
INTEGRITY The journey of WLS, all that leads us to it and all that follows, is a test of our courage. When we are courageous, we challenge ourselves to our limits. We get to find out just what kind of "stuff" we're really made of. We may find joy in the discovery that we are stronger than we ever imagined. And we find acceptance in the realization that we have weaknesses we never wanted to face. All of this is OK! All of this opens us up to self-acceptance and honesty about who we really are. And when we know who we truly are within, we no longer need live in fear of being "found out" or fear of losing control to anything or anyone outside ourselves. We find the courage to live by our own convictions. And...we can honestly say to ourselves and the world, "Who you see, is who I am",
and THAT is living in INTEGRITY!
AND FINALLY to end on a lighter note, my favorite "superficial" benefit of WLS is..............
A WHOLE NEW WARDROBE!!! From hat to shoes and coat to undies, NOTHING will fit anymore. So that means I get to design a whole new me on the outside to reflect the whole new me on the inside!
Enjoy your benefits everyone.....YOU'VE EARNED THEM!!!
Race For The Cure. May 22,2010 Donate to Mary Ellen Russell's F
Mar 31, 2010
Hi There!
I am raising money for this very important cause and I'm asking you to help by making a contribution! Please use the link in this email to donate online quickly & securely. You will receive email confirmation of your donation and I will be notified as soon as you make your donation. I thank you in advance for your support, and really appreciate your generosity!!
WOW: Almost off-ed myself when I tried to get move from one of
Mar 31, 2010
Good Am and PM Fellow Michiganders and any one else lurking.
Woke up at 530 am and met my niece at the Bally's at 620 am. We did the recumbent bikes for 30 minutes then she had to go to get her kid off to school and get to work. She is just trying to get back in to an exercise routine after being AWOL from the fitness world. I stayed and did 30 more minutes on the elliptical and some weight training.
Almost off-ed myself when I tried to get move from one of the weight machines after finishing my sets. The one that you sit facing the machine and have the handle bars on a pulley that you pull down and up above your head. Your not supposed to let the weights bang together when you Finnish. so I was holding the bar while trying to stand up so the weight would not clang together. I lost my balance and stumbled backwards and almost fell on my keister. But I held on to that handle bar and ended up in a crouched down position and then stood up (sort of like I did a deep knee bend while holding the bar). Another lady Thought I was doing some kind of new exercise routine. LOL Whew.
After I looked the W. machine I notice that it was not bolted to the floor.
Hey that's not funny, had this been before Stitch was born I would have fallen and probably pulled the whole thing down on top of my self. And made a big spectacle of my self.
Come to think of it, I was afraid of that happening and being embarrassed, more than I was about falling.
I can visualize it now {Hey call 911 the Fat old lady fell on the floor and broke the weight machine too} Thank goodness for WLS and Stitch.
To boot, I am now feeling the burn from all that exercise I did. LOL including the extra Deep knee bend.
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