One Month To Go

Dec 26, 2012

I have an appointment with a nutritionist and then a support group meeting (by insurance standards) to attend before my surgery appointment is finally booked.  AH.  A month more!  It's so close yet so far away, and even though I'm going through the steps and the proper processes and learning, etc....my nerves couldn't be more frayed.  I'm scared to death!  I don't want to fail.  Not again.  I want this life change to be successful.  I know that it's not going to be easy, and I have to treat it one day at a time, but I have said this to myself so many times before and have had terrible outcomes.  Even the six - eight months working my way towards that important day has proven to be the most difficult:  weight fluctuating, diabetes, ankle/knee injury, biopsy surgery......I had to sigh just now just to let it out of me.  It has not been easy, and although I know it won't be an easy road and I am so scared, I am also so ready! I am ready for this new life experience, to feel good and strong, to work through my emotions and thoughts clinically instead of depending only myself to fix everything.  This alone, the process I mean, has been a self-illuminating experience all on its own only to have proven to myself that I am capable of changing my life for the better! We all are!

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