mother_theresa

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Tuesday March 4th, was one of the best days of my life!!! I was so scared to meet Dr. Lawerence, and now I know it was for no reason. I absolutely feel comfortable with him, he is very caring, and explained everything to me. Not only will he be getting rid of my panni, he is also going to do the tummy tuck, and mons repair all at the same time. He told me I would be in surgery for 4 1/2 to 5 hours, and in the hospital for 4 to 5 days barring complications. I wasn't expecting to come away with a date but I did!!!

April 21st, I will have my Plastics done. I am soooooo excited!!! I do go back on April 4th for my pre op. I'm not worried about that. I'm sure as April 21st gets closer, I'll get a little more nervous!!!! No, a lot more nervous.

Wow, 7 days and I meet Dr. Lawerence in Kansas City Kansas for a consultation for plastic surgery. I am nervous, however, I'm also really struggling right now to even lose just a pound or two. My PCP told me she feels that I won't be able to lose much more until I get my apron removed. My apron is pretty large, and pulls me forward when I walk, causing severe back pain. I also think that due to the back pain I'm not getting in enough exercise to help with the weight loss. 

Yes, I am so happy I had my RNY done, and would do it again in a heartbeat if need be, however, I'm very aggravated with myself at this point. Some of my friends just don't understand why I feel this way. Oh, don't get me wrong, from when I started at 492 lbs, and now I'm at 248. I had been down to 242 for awhile, so yes gaining 6 lbs may have something to do with it, but I was really hoping that by this far out (16 months) I would be at least at 200 lbs. Maybe I just set my goal a little too high? My PCP is very supportive of me, and maybe she is right. 

I will go next Tuesday the 4th of March, and hopefully will have some answers. Right now it just seems to be a ton of questions.

Well, today is my first day back to normal eating. I am so glad I did the 5 day pouch test!!! Not only did it get me back on track, it also reminded me of the feeling of feeling full. I'm no longer craving the sugar and bad carbs I was before. I'm getting all my fluids in, and I'm back to remembering and obeying my pouch rules. Sure makes all the difference in the world!!!! An added bonus is I also lost 7 pounds doing it. Since I gained 6 pounds through Thanksgiving and Christmas, I'm just so happy because now I'm down another pound. I'm actually at my lowest weight that I can remember for a very very long time!!! YEAHHHHH!!! 

Today is day 2 of me starting the 5 day pouch reset diet. Day 1 went really well! I was afraid I'd feel hungry, however, I didn't, not even a little. I got in all my water, and ate chicken broth, sf jello, and sf pudding. Felt really good when the day was done.

Now on day 2, I'm struggling a little with the liquids. Maybe part of it is I'm feeling stressed out, and just fed up with my son! It's just so tempting to give in and eat what I want. I refuse to do that!! I didn't come this far to go back to my life of pure existance. So, I've stayed on track!! It's early evening and I already have all 64 oz. of my water, and have stuck to my broth, sf jello, and sf pudding. Boy I can sure feel my pouch get tight again! That makes me feel good!!  This is working!!!! YEAHHHHHHH!!!

I went to my doctor yesterday just to have my blood drawn for my thyroid, and go back to see her on Thursday. I really think she may have to increase my dose of synthroid. I woke up with a real doosy of a headache this morning, but once I drank my protein shake, it eased up. Thank God!! 

3 more days to go on my pouch test, and this girl will be back on track, and believe me, I'm staying there!!

I've been having major headaches for the last 3 days now. Today has been the worst. I spent 5 hours laying in bed because of this. I have really been doing a lot of thinking, and I know in my heart that I am really off track. Beginning Monday I am going to do the 5 day pouch test diet. I'm really praying this will help me to detoxify my system of the sugars I have been putting into my body. I did not have this surgery to blow it now. I have too many things I want to do ahead of me, so I know now is the time to kick myself in the rear end and get myself back on track. I need all the support and prayers I can get!! I'll update each day on my 5 day pouch test to let everyone know what is going on. If these headaches continue I will make me an appointment with my PCP and see what she thinks is going on.

Well, I hate to admit it, but I have to be honest. I didn't go to my plastic sugery consult yesterday.I have done a lot of thinking, and when I am honest with myself, I just don't feel I am physcially, or mentally ready to undergo another surgery just yet. 

I'm battling the sugar cravings really bad right now. I have read up on the 5 day pouch reset diet, and I am going to start that on Monday. I'm trying to keep myself on track, however, all those years of being an emotional eater has began creeping back in. I have got to put a stop to that right now!!! 

I also am not feeling really up to par the last few days, so I really think I need to get myself on track, and be feeling better before I undergo the panni. I did reschedule my appointment, and I do plan on keeping it. It is March 4th, so that gives me a little time to work on all of these things that have me feeling like I'm not ready.

Well I'm really getting a bit nervous about meeting my plastic surgeon on Tuesday. I really want to get my panni removed. I'm having some issues from it pulling me forward so much when I walk, and causing me quite a bit of pain in my back. My PCP really feels I'm struggling with slower weight loss at this point because exercising is getting harder because of the pain when I do walk and move around. I'm also hoping the plastic surgeon will do something with my mons area. I joke with my hubby that I have bigger jewels than he does.   Well, other than that, I have also made the decision that I'm going to do the 5 day restart on my pouch. I know I need to get myself back on track. I will start that on Wednesday, so wish me luck, I am going to need it!! Until next time. God Bless You All

I had the strangest thing happen to me. I usually feel really good, and once in a while I might feel a little "yukky". Well yesterday I really didn't feel quite right so I took it on the easy side all day. While I was fixing dinner, I all of a sudden began feeling really shaky. My hands were shaking so hard I couldn't control it,  and I began to feel like I was going to pass out in a heap on the floor, so I yelled at my hubby to come watch dinner so I could sit down. Since my son is diabetic, he told me to take my blood sugar, he told me that is how he feels when his sugar drops. Well, when I took my blood sugar it was 73. Pretty low, since I had had a few pieces of candy not an hour earlier. I feel better today, but I have to admit that scared the crap out of me.Figure I'll keep an eye on it, and if it happens again, I'll call my PCP and see what she has to say.

Wow...I absolutely love my new profile!!! Thank you so much holygirl!!!!

Well, since I last posted my entire world has changed!! I'm down to 242 lbs now. I can walk around, however, my back and my knees still really hurt. I would have thought that by losing so much weight the pain would also ease, I know in time it will. Did I ever tell you patientce really isn't one of my virtures? lol  

I'm getting ready to go to KC to meet my pastic surgeon on Tuesday the 22nd of January. I'm excited, yet nervous all in one. I have such a huge fat apron around my middle section. My PCP thinks I really need to get this apron removed because I seem to be wavering from 242 lbs to 250 lbs...she thinks that since this fat apron pulls me forward so much, it's slowing my exercise progress down. I guess I'll find out when I see the plastic surgeon on Tuesday. Keep me in your prayers. 

There is something that happend in my life back in August 2006  want to share with you all. I was so happy that I was going to be a grandma. Well, August 17th, by little Austin William Bouray was born prematurely, and passed the same day he was born. I was, and still am, heartbroken. I got to hold and love on him after he passed. I keep telling myself that at least he never knew pain. All my precious grandson knew was pure love. My son and his fiance are doing well, and today would have been his 5 month birthday. A good friend told me that sometimes God makes angels that are just too perfect for this world, so he takes them home with him. I know in my heart that is what happend to my little Austin. Just wanted to share that with you all.

Wow do I have some catching up to do. (haha) The last time I wrote on my old profile, I was beginning to wonder if I would ever see my surgery date. Once things started rolling they went fast! I had my surgery on Oct. 2nd. I was so scared, but I also know I had to do this for a chance at life! My surgery was uneventful and my surgeons told my DH that I came through like a trooper. However, I did end up spending 5 days in ICU. My blood pressure stayed very low, even after starting me on meds to raise it. Finally it came up and I got out of ICU. Let me tell ya, I don't  think I had walked so much in my life!! (ha ha) The hospital I was in made you walk farther each time you walked. Now that I think about it, I'm so glad they did. The more you walk the better!!  Once I came home, I really went through sheer hell! I was very mentally prepared for the surgery, but nobody can prepare you for what to expect when you get home.  I'm 11 weeks out as of yesterday and I am still learning how to eat. Sometimes things will settle on my pouch, and others they won't. I never feel hungry, and I can't tell when I'm full, so I just go by knowing that 1/2 a cup is my meal. I'm still fighting 3 seromas. (small holes in my incision) One had closed up and has recently reopened. I'm not to the point where I'd tell you I'd do it again, but I am  happy that as of yesterday I have lost 91 and 1/2 pounds. Enough for now.