mspradlin

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I missed food, my girls miss me cooking, (husband has been cooking & taking care of about everything!).  This is the first surgery that I have had (When I had my baby, I had to have an emergency c-section) I did not realize they would be PAIN after surgery, and of course the pain RX makes me sleep. I hate that I can not think.  Just taking the girls to school in the morning weres me out, It is 8:10am and I am ready to go back to bed...I have been sleeping all day, up for a few hours when the girls come in from school, then nap, then up for maybe 2 hours, then I have been sleeping all night....I have had some crazy dreams, too - once again I think that is from the pain rx.   Last night, I wanted to cry....I hadn't cried in years (military wife) The last time I cried was August 2007 when my husband was leaving for his second tour to Iraq.  They have been times since then that I have wanted to cry, like when my papaw died this past January, but physically I don't cry.  I was thankful last night my hubby was home, and he understood that I have been feeling all emotional, normally I am in control, I thought that I would be able to go right back to work, I am also stressing about school, I have a paper due this week, I have done the research, and I have started it...I would fuss at myself for not doing it before but that would not do any good...I hope I do not get in trouble with work.  This is sad but I haven't had the energy to take a shower everyday.  It is all I have to focus taking the girls to school in the mornings. I am tired now.  I try to think about how much better my body is going to feel 100 pounds less.  I pray the back aches and the foot pain goes away 100%.  I want to be able to wear cute shoes & boots.  I have had problems for years finding shoes wide enough & to find boots that will fit my calf. 

Well, the good news is I have had the Lap band surgery....on Wednesday, April 15th, they were no complications with the surgery.  I was able to come home the next day.  I have to admit I was not prepared for the pain of having surgery.  I have 6 incisions across my stomach, and they are very sore.  I also have a bad back and I started my period the day after surgery.  I finally took a shower today, I have been too tired and I was afraid to get the incisions wet. I can't believe I have lost 4 pounds in the last 4 days.  My hair is falling out.  I pray the pain that I am going through now is going to be worth the results.

Friday night I made the decision...that I have to make better decisions about what I eat.  On Friday I went to lunch with my hubby to Chinese...then Friday afternoon I felt swollen, I assume I was because from Friday night to this morning my  weight went from 249 to 245. On Saturday I took control of my eating, I ate a bowl of cereal...did not finish off the milk, for lunch had 1 pb&j sandwich and some chips in a bowl and I did not go back for more chips. I cooked chicken n rice, steamed veggies, & stuffing, I did not do any SNACKING! and I increased my water intake and only drunk 1 glass of tea.  I think sweet tea is the food/drink I am going to miss most.  On Sunday i got up ate a bowl of cereal w my baby Kiley, after church we went to a pizza place...I did better then usually, I got a small piece of what I wanted then finished up with a salad, I also drunk water with it, still the grease made me feel gross.  I only had 1 cup of tea....I went with our youth drama team, we was served pizza...I did not eat any, I drunk a bottle water (I had a propel with me that help)  when I got home I ate a bowl of cereal...this morning I made me an egg sandwich with 1 egg, no mayo, half of slice of cheese, I did not eat all the bread....one egg is very small, I am use to eating 2,3,or 4....I took all of my vitamins the last few days.  Now Mondays are my hardest because I have to work from 12 - 5, then go straight to school....I don't know what I should eat this afternoon...I have a chicken casserole prepared for my family, but I don't want to wait until 9:30 to eat tonight, but I don't want to just go through a drive thru....I may take something with me.

I am scheduled to have Lapband weightloss surgery April 15th.  I am scared! I want to have the WLS to become healthy...I don't when I got to the size that I am.  I am currently 249 pounds.  This is the most I have ever weighed.  I have been heavier then most since I was 17.  When I had my daughter in 2000, the most I weighed was around 215.  I have had alot of stress factors the last few years.  My husband spent his first tour in Iraq from July 2004 to March 22, 2005; his second tour June 2007 to July 2008.   I think it is a matter of time before he will have to go again....I know he will be gone out of the country for 3 weeks this August.  Currently we have temporarily custody of my step daughter, Jennifer.   As of right now she is scheduled to go home in July.  I worry about her, and I try to be a positive influence for her and our daughter,  Kiley.  Right now, work is hard.  I am thankful for my job, but some of my coworkers are being layed off.  I also go to college, and I have to transfer from a community college that I am comfortable with to a University to finish my degree.  Of course the university is more expensive!  I am studying to be a teacher, and I need to be preparing to take the Praxis I.  My husbands regular work has been slow, I am thankful he has not been layed off and his company told him this week their hours will be picking up.  I am active in our church, I feel too active, right now...I teach a Sunday school class, I am the choir director, GA director and the church secretary.  I am praying for others to step up! I love teaching my class, but I am tired and I do not have the tallent of singing.  I think my talents are teaching, and organizing.  I was also rearended by a dump truck last summer...I think I have gain 25 to 30 pounds since it happened.  I have gone through physical therapy and I have been going to a chiropractor since the accident.  I have lower & middle back pain daily, better then it was 6 months ago, but it still hurts to sweep, lift more then 20 pounds, bend over like to bathe our 4lb Yorkie, Kodi, or to carry my 20 month old little cousin.  I have also started having problems with my feet, to the point that I don't want to go anywhere....I went to a podiatrist and she said I have Tarsel Tunnel and arthiritis.  I am hoping the weight loss will help the pain in my feet, knees and back.  I also want to have more energy, I always feel tired, and I want to look better.  I am embarrassed by the size that I am.  I have also been thinking about my papaw, who died January15th, I also worry about nanny, and what the current status of her Cancer is. When I think about my life 10 years from now, it makes me sad.  Kiley will be off to college, we will probally have grandkids from Jennifer, we may not have Nanny or all of our parents. Oh ya, we are going to have to replace our roof, AHHH.  The insurance adjuster told us today that it needed to be replace,not repaired from severe wind damage.