nursinggal

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Today I got up early for a change. I showered, put makeup on and fixed my hair. I feel like a new person. I took my kids to the movies. They had been begging me to take them. It was hard to smell the aroma of the popcorn and see all of the refreshment signs and advertisement. We had about 45 minutes to kill before the movie so we walked down the mall. I popped into a little bakery and got some potato soup. I asked myself if I was really hungry. I was surprised that it didn't take much to get me full. I also got a quesy feeling in my tummy and had to bolt to the bathroom! After getting through that, I was not hungry anymore and able to enjoy the movie.

After the movie the kids wanted to go to On the Border. My first time to go in a restaurant. It was just habit to pick the chips up and start dipping in the salsa. I was only able to eat a couple and I chewed thoroughly. I then ordered the lunch special with a small bowl of tortilla soup and chicken quesadilla. Then I sat there wondering why I ordered it??? I wasn't even hungry.  That was totally abnormal for me. By the time the food came, I was able to only eat a couple spoonfuls of the soup and a few bites off of one of the quesadilla wedges. I just didn't want anymore. I am still shocked by this. I hope this is for good.

I have noticed that I am getting hungry. I will eat a couple of bites and then it takes my hunger away.

It has been 1 week since surgery. I can hardly believe that last Monday I was on such pins and needles as I was getting ready to go under the knife. It seems like a lifetime ago since that happened, but then it seems so fast. A lot has happened. First of all, I didn't get the RNY as planned. I ended up with the VSG (which I am fine with). Secondly, I posted a discussion topic on the forum last night about eating too soon. I confess, that I started eating too soon. I couldn't do the protein bullets, so I decided and totally had it justified in my mind that I would be "okay" if I just ate some foods high in protein as long as I chewed and chewed them until mushy.  It made me feel better physically but then I got scared thinking I may be doing something to "injure" myself. I confessed what I did online and asked for feedback. I am grateful I did too. I go to the doctor for my post-op check up today and will tell them what I did. I just pray this doesn't cause me to have to get some kind of tests or something.  I really don't want to screw this up. I want to do good at this.

I do feel better, but am still pretty sore. I thought I would see how long I could go without pain medication today, ,but I finally gave in and took the liquid lortab and some phenergen.  So far today all I've had is a sugar free popsicle, a small glass of 1% mild and now I am sipping on a Myoplex Lite (20g protein).

I am so frustrated because I am HUNGRY.  Is this normal? Will eating high protein foods and chewing them a bunch be okay 1 week out? What will happen if I do this? Help me! I am so scared I am going to screw this up. My family is sitting around eating and enjoying foods and basically rubbing it in. My husband goes to the store and doesn't even ask if I need anything. He gets home and starts frying chicken. The whole house is submerged in the smell. I was so angry. I know life has to go on, but gee whiz, couldn't they at least be a little considerate of my needs right now. Last night it was grilling steaks and to top it off, people from church are bringing meals over. I want to scream! They just don't understand what I am going through right now.

i DO feel better physically today. Still sore, but better.

Today I am wondering if this surgery is going to work? I am scared I have put my body through all of this for nothing. Maybe it is just the pain medication? I hope so. I feel like I want some regular food. I dream about food. I am scared that I am not going to get enough of the nutrients that my body needs right now.

Woah.... I didn't know I had that much air inside of my body! hehehe. I thought I was going to huff and puff and blow my house down. LOL.

I have been taking it real easy today. My friend went to Smoothie King for me and got me a Gladiator smoothie. It is so much better than those protein bullets.
I need to clarify that I did get the Gastric Sleeve. I wasn't able to get the bypass at this time. Hopefully the sleeve will do everything I need it to do and I won't have to go for the bypass later. We will see!

I am having a bad day. I guess that is normal? I just took some liquid phenergen (YUCK) and some liquid lortab. I just feel so freakin bad today. I got home from the hospital yesterday. I was in surgery longer than "normal". I wasn't able to get the RNY at this time due to 1. overly enlarged liver and 2. the lapband was in the wrong place and my surgeon was very uncomfortable with proceeding with the RNY. He felt it was too risky. He felt that I would end up with a leak. I am so PISSED at the doctor who did my lap band. Now I know that I am not some lap band freak! I was able to get the VSG.

Okay, I am sitting here writing my last little blog before I leave for the hospital. I was so nervous that when I went to take my BP meds, I threw up! I couldn't believe I am so nervous. Well, then, this is it! I won't blog again until after surgery! 

Okay, I am ready. I took my Hibiclens shower (must repeat in the AM) I  have packed everything except for a few last minute items. I am pretty calm right now (with the help of a little medication) and I am going to TRY to get some good sleep tonight. My wishes for the morning include: 1. Remaining Calm, 2., Make sure I have everything I need., 3. Get to the hospital SAFELY! I am so excited about the outpour of support I am receiving. I was real hesistant about sharing my surgery new with people, but now I am glad I did. I was surprised at how excited they are for me. I am finishing up my last bit of liquids for the night and then it is NPO for me and a night of SWEET DREAMS.

I felt like my tummy was under attack this morning. I felt like a million butterflies were flying around in my stomach. Everything is becoming so real. TOMORROW is the day.  I have been at work all day today. Everyone here is so excited for me and offering me so much support. I am so happy about that.  I pray that I can sleep well tonight and get to the hospital safely tomorrow morning.