ready2Bhealthy2
48 Hours and counting...
Oct 15, 2011
This time on Monday I will be getting prepped to be wheeled to the OR. My friends keep asking me if I'm excited...NO i'm not. I'm scared out of my mind and sick of being asked if I'm excited. I know they don't mean any harm, but my knowledge of the medical field and just how serious this surgery is are increasing my anxiety level. I have this deep desire to consume food and lots of it, but I am having a chat with myself about that and how it doesn't really fit into the plan I have. I keep looking at before and after pics and reminding myself why I'm doing this. When I first decided on this journey I made a list of why I wanted to have WLS.
I chose 11 because it has been approximately 11 years since I last was healthy and in shape!
My 11...in no particular order:
1. To wear a bathing suit...without a cover up
2. To be in the FRONT of a picture, and not in the back hiding
3. To shop with my BFF's, who are a size 8 and 6...(I won't be able to say "skinny women are evil" anymore...)
4. To no longer be in jeopardy of knee replacements at such a young age (I'm only 31)
5. To complete a Warrior Dash...and NOT be last
6. To sweat because it's actually hot...and not because I'm so out of shape
7. To have skinny sex
8. To skydive...I'm currently over the maximum weight limits
9. To be able to paint my own toes without feeling suffocated
10. To cross my legs
11. To do all of the outdoor activities my 5 year old can handle
This list still makes me smile at the possibility of accomplishing it. The biggest of the reasons being my health. I am in decent health, but my knees…they should belong to a 90 year old not a 31 year old. They hurt daily and cause me to not do certain activities because of the possible side effects. When I think about my NYC trip I am saddened because of how unhealthy I was. My health, or lack thereof, ruined what was supposed to be a fabulous trip.
So yes, I am excited about the possible outcomes down the road. Yet, I am terrified of the actual immediate risks that are in front of me. So, I am going to finish prepping to be out of work for 2 weeks, work this weekend, and spend cuddle time with my lil man. Hopefully then I won’t fret too much over the surgery and instead I will take it all in stride.
