Brenda W.

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Well as of today a whole year has passed since I had my surgery last July in New York.  Lots of things have changed physically, emotionally and mentally.  I'm somewhat pleased with my progress so far, but I still have a bit to go to reach my own personal goal.  Before surgery I weighed 292lbs.  I have officially lost 110lbs to date, countless inches and 12 dress sizes.

As I have wrote in previous blogs regarding my progress, I can pretty much eat anything including sugar.  But as of late my symptoms of Dumping have increased, minus the vomiting aspect of things.  I have yet to vomit on anything really, though when I do eat something I shouldn't, it sure feels like I'm going to.  I usually have to lay down and let the nausea pass along with sometimes the shakes and heart palps.  I'm always going to push my limits because there are still so many foods I can't eat that I could before that I do miss eating.  Regardless of what people say, EVERYONE is addicted to food.  There are some days that I regret having surgery for the shear selfish fact that I want to chow down on just one thing that I really want, that I indeed cannot eat.  But soon the feeling passes and I'm grateful to have the opportunity to drop 110lbs in a year.

I tend to stall more than ever now but I know that is my own fault really.  Depression plays a key role in weightloss itself, and after losing my son in November I've never really gotten out of that funk.  I dont know if I ever will.  I find myself 100 times more active and I'm pleased that I can actually RUN up and down a set of stairs without being winded.  I can bend over and put on a simple pair of socks or tie my shoes, or even paint my toe nails without difficulty.  Its still a challenge buying clothes in the normal section of a store rather than shopping in the "Tents and Awnings" section but I can thank my husband for having a good eye and great taste in clothes.  He seems to be a better judge than I am when it comes to finding clothes that look good and enhance my new figure rather than covering it up.

There are days I struggle even still remembering to take my vitamins or eat enough protein.  Water is never a problem and thats probably why I find myself never eating enough during the day.  I still can't drink plain water and after trying so many different kinds of bottled water I have settled for being able to enjoy and drink Wylers instead.

Eventually I know I will lose the remaining 50lbs I have left to lose, which seems like peanuts compared to the number I started at.  Its just finding the will and drive to do it.  Its not always a simple feat but I will indeed give it my all.  So hopefully by the time next July 2010 rolls around, I'll be a happy, healthy 130 or 140lbs.

Cheers to all of my family and friends who have supported me in the last year.  Without them I couldn't have done it and I'm so grateful.

Well, another year is about to pass.  I'd like to say it was a good one, considering I was gifted with the opportunity to have weightloss surgery in July.  Things were going well, I was losing a couple of pounds a week and a large amount of inches off of my body.  I've dropped 4 dress sizes in 6 months and lost close to 90lbs.  Thats not too bad really, but I still have a long way to go. 
I can eat everything and anything.  Including sugar.  I do not vomit or dump.  So losing weight is a bit tougher for me.  The only change is the fact that I can't eat large amounts of food.  I do get the occassional heart palpitations when eating carbs or certain foods, but not often.
Sadly though, my excitement for weightloss has faded recently.  I lost my 19 year old son in November to a drug overdose.  Ever since his tragic death, I've lost barely 5 lbs.  My emotional eating has returned, and even though I still can't eat alot, it really doesn't matter what I put in my mouth.  I know that I won't get sick eating foods that aren't that good for me.
I was doing rather well with my treadmill, but ever since Dustin's death my treadmill has been an ornament in my living room.  I have no energy, or desire to even bother with exercise.  Mourning over Dustin's death has taken all of my will to succeed and my strength that weightloss just doesn't seem to matter.  I know it shouldn't be that way, but for now it is.
So hopefully, once we get through this holiday season, and a new year turns, I might be able to find a way to get back on track, but for now its just not even a priority.
Wishing all of my friends a safe and healthy New Year.

Lots of changes, one thing I have had to learn in a hurry is patience.  Its not something i'm good at.  But i'm adapting.  I've learned the feeling of 'fullness' and have learned to STOP eating when I feel that pressure.  It wasn't something that was easy.  My head wanted me to finish what I had put on my plate.  My body said HELL NO!  So in the last few weeks i've concentrated on that.  

I seem to have to work harder to get the weight off unlike others where I have read that the weight just falls off of them.  We bought a treadmill and it has now become my best friend.  The more I push myself to walk an extra minute, the faster the weight comes off.  So even though you read everywhere to up your water and your protein intake (which may be what other people need but not everyone, don't read everything you hear), I would recommend MOVING YOUR BUTT!  That was my problem.  I wasn't doing anything to move the process along.  But if you notice, those people who claim to have the weight fall off of them, they are the ones who come back 3 or 4 years later, whining because the weight has returned.  Likely due to inactivity.  Exercise is AWESOME, its a release of tension for me, for emotion and its making me even more healthy every single day that I do it.

After learning that your hormones are stored in fat, well that explained the whining and moodiness that has bombarded me as of late.  I'm more irritable and sometimes just plain weepy.  Except of course when I see the scale move.

As I have stated before to others, I can eat pretty much everything.  I don't dump per say, even though I do have some of the symptoms like racing heart rate after eating carbs or some sugars.   But I have yet to vomit anything.  Not that i'm complaining, but I hear such horror stories about women vomiting, im quite happy that I don't.  I don't eat pasta as a rule, or white bread, rice or even potatoes.  I don't like the nausea that comes with it, or how it sits in my pouch.  So I just avoid those foods entirely.  I still struggle with water intake and protein, but i'm not 'deficient'.  What I don't make in one day, I will make up in another.

So far I have dropped over 2 dress sizes (I was just starting to wear a size 26), and have moved from size 4x to 2x.  I've lost over 28 inches off of my body (more off of my boobs than anywhere) and have lost 50lbs.   My husband claims he sees a significant amount of weightloss, but it has not registered with me at all.  But the more I exercise the more the weight seems to drop.  Now that I have made that connection (mentally), I get up every day and work out on the treadmill for 30 minutes.  Its not that long to help my weight loss along.  And I won't complain either.

~Cheers to losing.

Wow how time flies!  I am officially 6 weeks post op.  YaY Me!

There have been lots of changes in the last few weeks.  More so to my body than anything.  But food wise as well. 

My husband has really noticed the weightloss and constantly praises how good I look and how I even walk different.  HA!  I probably don't waddle anymore LOL.  But his praise is wonderful and gives me the incentive I need to not give up hope, that the weight will come off.  As for me, I truly don't see a difference in the way I look per say.  I just notice it in little things like, tieing my shoes, sleeping on my back because I couldn't before, or running up and down the stairs rather than becoming winded after climbing a few steps.  I haven't dropped any clothing sizes as of yet, but im pretty close.  Most of my clothes are becoming more comfortable as the days go by.  Some are even too big now, but I won't give them up just yet.

At weeks 3 & 4 I hit a really bad stall.  The scale did not move for 2 weeks!  Talk about getting discouraged.  I questioned everything I had done and why I had even bothered to have the surgery if I was only going to lose 30lbs.  But I found out that I wasn't eating enough.  I had to cut back a little on my water intake because I was so full all the time from fluids that I wasn't getting in the nutrition I needed from meals.  So I drink 48 oz of water a day and have 3 meals and 1 snack (sometimes 2 if I feel the need).  There isn't too much I can't eat, and as far as I know right now I am not a dumper.  Even sugar doesnt' bother me, though I avoid it at all costs.  But I have been told that I could be mini-dumping.  Carbs seem to give me heart palps when I eat them.  So i'm trying to eliminate those as best I can.  Pasta and regular water I avoid as well.  Neither sit well in my pouch and give me a terrible over full feeling.  I can eat most meat, chicken is my favourite because i'm really not a fish person, though I force myself to eat it at least 3 times a week.

As of today I have lost 45lbs and over 21 inches off of my body.  I'm pleased with my weightloss so far and hope that more melts off quickly in the upcoming weeks and months.

Wow how time flies.  I'm finally back in PA (have been for about 2 weeks now) and well on my way to a new healthier life.  I'm down about 30+ lbs but im stuck.  I was told this would happen, but I can't say I was prepared for the amount of frusteration when the numbers on my scale didn't move.  I've been stuck for about a week now but i'm losing inches at least.  I've dropped about 14 inches from my body so far in total.  14 inches!!  THATS OVER A FOOT!

As for Dumping.  I'm not a dumper, not so far  anyway.  The only thing that isn't sitting well is pasta, and water.  They both hang in my pouch like lead.  But the only thing i've ever vomitted on would be pills in the hospital.  NOT food.  As for protein, well I struggle with that on a daily basis.  I think my tastebuds are on strike.  One day things will taste great.  The next everything I liked the day before, tastes like crap. 

I've been dealing with head hunger since I had the surgery.  Its not an easy thing to beat.  I have to constantly ask myself if i'm truly hungry, or can I make it until my next meal.  And McDonalds commercials should just be banned from tv entirely.  I never really paid much attention to them before, but when you know you can't eat them, they seem to be EVERYWHERE! (evil).

This has been a very productive month.  I just hope I can get over this stall and start losing more within the next month!

Everything went very well in Utica during my stay for Surgery.  Some Canadian nurses really should take notes from the American ones I had the pleasure of getting to know for 3 days.  Even though I wouldn't relive the first 2 days if someone paid me.  All in all it wasn't so bad.

The gas pains are 100 times worse than the surgery pain itself.  I have never in my life felt anything so horrid, even after having 3 C-Sections.  So when someone tells you the gas pains are bad .. they mean it. 

I've been on the liquid diet thing for 11 days now.  Im so excited to try new foods tomorrow, even though they really aren't so new.  I don't think jello or broth will be on the menu for quite some time for me.

Other than my 6 incisions (and that is low compared to some people who are bigger and have up to 20) I really don't feel like i've had surgery at all.  I was up and walking the same day.  And as of today, I have lost 18lbs in 7 days.  18lbs!!  I havent lost 18lbs in 10 years let alone 7 days but i'll take it with a smile on my face knowing there is more to melt off my body.

Thank you to everyone who sent me warm wishes and good thoughts in their messages.  It was nice to see when I returned home.

RNY .. is the bomb.  I wouldn't ever have it any other way.

Ok, now im incredibly terrifed.  We are leaving today!  I'm so excited but scared to death.  I'm sure this is very normal but holy moly!  I never thought in a gazillion years id look forward to being a LOSER!

 Btw, this clear liquid diet is for the birds.  People say .. 3 days?  Oh that ain't bad.  PFFT.  I've had a screaming headache for the last 18 hrs with no relief in site.  Probably due to the LACK OF NUTRITION!  I think by the time this is over, i'll hate jello just as much as I hate any kind of broth in general .. BLECH.

 

LOL@me having a temper tantrum last night because I have no patience.  Now look what happens.  THANK YOU JESUS!  The purolater man was here today and yepper I was approved.  Woohooo go me!  It took exactly 27 DAYS for me to get my approval and NO my doctor did not tick off DEATH on the original OHIP papers.  But he did tick off TISSUE DAMAGE with the explanation of Excelerated Osteoarthritis.  So theres a little info for your newbies.  I have almost ZERO co-morbids, other than the usual lower back pain, joint pain, and irregular menstrual cycles.

I'm so excited I could burst!

Well today my mom and I drove to New Hartford to visit Dr.Graber.  I had really high hopes going there, hoping that he could give me a time frame as to when all this could happen, so I could actually go home to PA.  No such luck.  Infact im incredibly disappointed with the whole thing and rather frusterated.  I'm not sure what OHIPs issue is, but im so close to losing my temper i'm afraid to let myself near a telephone for fear of dialing their number, not hearing what I want to hear and taking it out on the person who is slacking off on their job.

On a good note.  I was weighed, and am now 290.4 lbs, 4'10 1/2 inches, and my blood pressure is normal.  He said my heart sounded good and so do my lungs (yay me for quitting smoking).  I also DO NOT have a fatty liver *weird thats probably the only thing that ISNT fat on my body, woo*.  He gave me the low down on how everything happens, what to expect, prescriptions, and pre-opt testing which were NIL almost, except an EKG and bloodwork im good to go.  But I did NOT get a surgery date. Now if OHIP would get off their asses and approve my surgery, i'd be a happy camper.  Lisa his assistant gave me some hope and said with a BMI like mine, I shouldn't have an issue with being approved, but Graber stated that because my GP did NOT tick off 'death', OHIP might have issues.  Who knows anymore.  Theres so many different cases with so many different people getting approved and denied I wont even bother to try to keep track. 

Tomorrow some phone calls will be made.  To my GP and then to OHIP.  I feel like a kid throwing a temper tantrum.  I want an answer, and I want it NOW!  **wonders if i should complete the tantrum with kicking and screaming**

Here's to hoping.

Yesterday I had my appointment with my gp with Dr.Ashe.  It wasn't exactly what I had hoped it would be really.  I have never been diagnosed with High Blood Pressure, nor have I ever weighed this amount before.  So I guess I was in shock.  My blood pressure was 150 over 90.  And my weight has shot up to 291 lbs.  Which puts my BMI at almost 60.  Thats rather scary.  The sudden weight gain can be blamed on my continued effort to be nicotine free.  I quit smoking 2 weeks ago and of course there has to be something to fullfill that craving, so of course its food.  Dr. Ashe painted a very bleak picture for me,  to which he said I may not make the age of 40 with my current climbing weight and even worse, blood pressure.  He gladly took the forms for OOC WLS and will be filling them out this week so they can be faxed. So here's to hoping.  As previously stated, my Consult with Dr.Graber is on April 29th.  Hopefully it will be smooth sailing from there on out.