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Still waiting to hear from the psychologist. She said it could take up to a week and a half for her to complete the report. 

My right foot really hurts today and I'm scared I have a stress fracture. I had one when I was 20 from being super obese and wearing unsupportive footwear (converse Allstars.) 

I don't know what the culprit is this time. Maybe it's the new flats I bought for work. Maybe I'll have to switch back to my super ugly shoes for a while. 

I really hope I'm able to get WLS. There are so many complications with being this big. 

I had my psychological evaluation yesterday. I'm so relieved that it is over. I was afraid I would cry, but I didn't! My psychologist, Dr Heather Pederson, was fantastic.

I think it's strange that it is this early in the process... I haven't had a physical evaluation or talked to a doctor or nurse practitioner. This was the third step after going to the information seminar and faxing in my packet. I wonder if most programs follow this order? I think they are all pretty different. Oh well.

It really helps to have gone through some psychotherapy previously. It was still difficult, though.

I hope to hear from the bariatric clinic at OSU soon.

 Last Friday I went to see a new psychiatrist. My general practitioner didn't feel comfortable writing my RX's for my anxiety and depression meds. It has been about 7 years, so I figured it was about time. I was scared about changing my medicine, but luckily that did not happen.

She was very, very nice. We talked for a super long time and it was more like a therapy session. Not my experience with psychiatrists at all. I was very relieved she did not want to change my medicine. She encouraged me to try using my CPAP machine and drinking less caffeine. 

I'm trying a make some slow changes. I have used my sleep mask every night this week. I have taken it off in the middle of the night 3 of those nights, but I'm trying! I have been looking at the nutrition facts and trying to get more protein in. I'm trying to drink less caffeine. That may take a little longer to adjust to that.

Last weekend I also bought a FitBit Zip. I love technology, so I was excited to try a pedometer that linked to an app on my phone. Unfortunately they sold me a broken one. I think it had been returned since the seal on the box was broken and the pieces were scattered about in the box. I kept walking and walking and it wouldn't track the steps. I had to tap tap tap it so hard for it to respond.

I exchanged it on Tuesday and tried another one. It works great! It tracks every step. One day I made it up to 5,000 steps. That is a lot for me in a regular work day. I'm going to try to increase that. One "step," at a time!

My next step in getting weight loss surgery is my psych evaluation. It is May 16th. It seems so far away, but I know it will come up fast. They said it may take 4 hours. After I have that I will have my first appointment at OSU. I need to write down some questions.

I will still have to figure out the financial side, the taking time off of work, and other specifics. I've been reading a lot and watching videos. I still think this is the best option for me. I will definitely need to see my therapist on a regular basis if I decide to do this. I hate taking time off of work, and it is difficult financially, but I think it will be key to my progress.

Have a great weekend!

Hello. I am beginning my journey to a new me!

Last year, in May, my general practitioner recommended I look into weight loss surgery. I felt hurt and confused. I'm only 27 years old, I thought. After seeing her an entire year later, she asked if  I was ready to consider it. I hadn't lost any weight and I was feeling a lot more depressed and hopeless than the year before. So I said "Yes."

On Tuesday I went to an informational session at OSU (Ohio State University). I picked up the packet and heard about all of the different surgeries. I still don't know which one would be best for me. I have, however, ruled out the lap band after hearing horror stories. Plus, I have A LOT to lose, so it may not be the correct tool. A man in the back of the auditorium was very ill, and was falling asleep and having sleep apnea symptoms. I don't want to be that sick.

I have sleep apnea, too. I'm not good at wearing the mask. It keeps me awake and I feel more tired the next day than ever. I wish I were better at managing it... I might feel better. I also have anxiety and depression, which I am on medications for. In the past I have had a stress fracture in my foot from all of the weight I am carrying around. At times I am diagnosed with high blood pressure.

I see the complications of this weight and the ones that are in my future. Diabetes. Painful joints. Asthma. Huge risk for heart disease and cancer.

At the moment I weigh 430 lbs and am between 5'9" and 5'10" tall. I wear a 4x top and size 30/32 pants. I wear a size 13 womens shoe. Not all of those fit. I have never had a boyfriend. I feel I am too obese to fly, preventing me from visting my friends in San Francisco, New York, L.A., and Chicago. I can't sit in booths or most chairs with arms. THIS IS NO WAY TO LIVE.

Yesterday I spoke with my insurance company at length. I believe my insurance will cover the procedure. There is a 10,000 lifetime maximum for bariatric surgery. But I'm hoping the surgery will be a contracted rate and cost less than that. If it is a lot more, I may not be able to go forward.

I faxed my packet to OSU yesterday. Now I will wait and see what they say.