scrappygirl8
10 month update
Mar 02, 2012
I am 1 day from being 10 months from surgery. I currently weigh 128. I am super thrilled, but secretly would love to be around 120 even 118. I think I can do it. I wonder when this need to be thinner will stop. I still feel fat. Not in the way I used to, but in the I am still bumpy and lumpy and not my cutest. I don't think that will EVER be possible (I think my body is permanantly destroyed), but I still am not ready to stay still. I hope to lose more in the legs and stomach/love handle area. I am worried that my butt will shrink more (I don't really see how that is humanly possible,but...). my butt is very non existant, flat, concave, boney. I wish there were SOME sort of umph there. My boobs are pretty terrible too. from a 40DD to a 34C (barely), they look very sad, but I can pretty much hide them. The butt is hard to hide, and jeans tend not to fit right. I measured myself the other day and I was 35 26 34/33. I guess that makes me hourglass shaped :) definitely not like a model, but it will do. I wish my waist was a bit smaller, like 24 would be nice, but I think my excess skin would have to go away to get that. And I dont think that will ever happen. Kinda like a bikini body.lol. Nope, just not happening. I think I need to eat more chicken breasts vs. the beef jerky and crap I have been consuming lately. not that the beef jerky is bad, but Beef Jerky has so much salt and helps me to retain more fluids I think, when I eat the chicken breasts, I feel full longer, and seem to lose weight faster. I have only lost 10 lbs in the last 4 months :( which is annoying I just wanna be where I am comfortable with myself and less self conscious (does that exist...???), but I am definitely not trying very hard lately. Other people seem to think I am just right or too thin ( but they havent seen me naked. Ha!), but my BMI says I am completely normal, and cold even be thinner and still be normal, so I am erring on the cautious side and going to be the thinnest I can be. Because my ultimate goal is to have more babies, and I have to gain weight to do that. Something I am not looking forward to doing (gaining weight that is). Having more children..... I can't wait. I love being a mom!
