scrappygirl8

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I am 1 day from being 10 months from surgery. I currently weigh 128. I am super thrilled, but secretly would love to be around 120 even 118. I think I can do it. I wonder when this need to be thinner will stop. I still feel fat. Not in the way I used to, but in the I am still bumpy and lumpy and not my cutest. I don't think that will EVER be possible (I think my body is permanantly destroyed), but I still am not ready to stay still. I hope to lose more in the legs and stomach/love handle area. I am worried that my butt will shrink more (I don't really see how that is humanly possible,but...). my butt is very non existant, flat, concave, boney. I wish there were SOME sort of umph there. My boobs are pretty terrible too. from a 40DD to a 34C (barely), they look very sad, but I can pretty much hide them. The butt is hard to hide, and jeans tend not to fit right. I measured myself the other day and I was 35 26 34/33. I guess that makes me hourglass shaped :) definitely not like a model, but it will do. I wish my waist was a bit smaller, like 24 would be nice, but I think my excess skin would have to go away to get that. And I dont think that will ever happen. Kinda like a bikini body.lol. Nope, just not happening. I think I need to eat more chicken breasts vs. the beef jerky and crap I have been consuming lately. not that the beef jerky is bad, but Beef Jerky has so much salt and helps me to retain more fluids I think, when I eat the chicken breasts, I feel full longer, and seem to lose weight faster. I have only lost 10 lbs in the last 4 months :(  which is annoying I just wanna be where I am comfortable with myself and less self conscious (does that exist...???), but I am definitely not trying very hard lately. Other people seem to think I am just right or too thin ( but they havent seen me naked. Ha!), but my BMI says I am completely normal, and cold even be thinner and still be normal, so I am erring on the cautious side and going to be the thinnest I can be. Because my ultimate goal is to have more babies, and I have to gain weight to do that. Something I am not looking forward to doing (gaining weight that is). Having more children..... I can't wait. I love being a mom!

I am currently 137 lbs. which is 2 lbs from my second goal of 135. I only lost 7 lbs from month 5-6, so the weight loss is definitely slowing. I am wondering whether or not to set another goal once I reach the 135 lb goal, or do I just see what happends being I am content at my current weight, Don't get me wrong, I don't mind being thinner than I currently am. I think I will still look ok at a smaller weight, and it is still within normal BMI range. I am just staying, IF this is my final weight (the thinnest I am able to get) that's ok! I guess I will probably be setting another goal, because that is just me. I seem to function better with goals ( I think it's the OCD in me ). If I don't reach it, I will TRY not to care.... much.

WOW! I cannot believe I have made it 5 months. I am 144 lbs, which is 9 lbs from my second goal. My first goal was to reach 150, my second goal is to reach 135. The weight is still flying off, amazingly. I haven't really hit nothing I would call a stall, considering I still lose weight every week. I am currently in a size 6 in low rise jeans, I can even fit into some size 4 jeans if they are mid rise. How awesome is that! I cannot believe I have come this far! I love to meet others who have had the same surgery as myself, because I did not know anyone with this surgery when I started my journey. I am hoping by my 6 month mark I will have reached my 135 lb goal. With the rate I am going that seems entirely possible. No problems so far with the surgery. I have found nothing that I cannot eat. If I eat too much though I will throw up or even sometimes if I dont chew real well I will throw up. I do feel sick sometimes when Itry and drink with my meals. Yes I do that. Cannot seem to break it. I am just too thirsty while eating. May possible be having kidney stones again that bother me every once and awhile. I am concerned about my first labs. mostly that my protien will be low and I will have to drink those nasty shakes. I guess I will find out at my 6 month labs.

Things have been going well. I have been having a problem not drinking with my meals, and everytime I do I get sick and sometimes I end up throwing up.My only other concern at this point would be that I am feeling like I might be deficient in some vitamin, because I keep feeling dizzy when I stand up. This could be an iron deficiency from having my period for almost 4 months now (from the stupid Depo shot), or it could be protien because I feel I probably am not getting enough protien. Otherwise I am taking all my other vitamins like I am supposed to. I have 17.2 lbs until I reach my goal of 150. My current weight is 167.2. I have lost a total of 66 lbs! I cannot believe I am 3 months post op already. I really hope I can make it to my goal, the weight seems to come off much slower now. It feels like I have to work for every pound. I am an everyday weigher. I weigh myself everytime I go to the bathroom.. Probably not good, but I don't really care. I need to know. It would drive me crazy not to know. Still taking the probiotics, from the awful C. Diff I got, for a preventative measure. I fit into my first pair of size 8 jeans, they were American Eagle brand! YAY! I bought some Silvers in the same size and they were too small yet. I have decided on my garage sale this week I am saying good bye to everything above a size 12 or size large shirts. It feels nice to rid myself of them, like they were the extra fat I was carrying around or something. I really am getting an itch to go shopping, to fill my closet with clothes that actually fit me. The only problem would be is they might not fit me a month from now and I am not fond of wasting money., so I guess i will wait. Ugh....

I only  have 25 more pounds left to go! This will put me at my surgeons goal.I am weighing in at 175.8, and everything seems to be going well. hopefully it will stay that way.I seem to tolerate everything, but eggs, and to be honest I haven't tried them in over 6 weeks. I don't think I dump, but I really don't test the issue. I accidentally drank this lemonade I thought was sugar free though and it was not, and I drank a ton of it and did not dump. If I eat too much, I will get very sick though and feel like crap, so I don't usually eat as much as I am supposed to.I am nervous this will be a problem, because I do not take my protien suppliments like I should, and I dont get enough on my own. I guess we will see in a few weeks when I have my 3 month labs.
I am praying everything will be normal. I am not exercising like I should be though. I figure I will start that when I start to hit plateaus. My husband and I keep talking about whether to have more children or not, because I was infertile for 5 years. I think we will end up trying because we both don't feel as if our family is complete yet, but  my youngest will be 6 in December and my oldest is 12 in a month, so starting over seems like a grueling task. I guess only time will tell. I feel skinny some days but I still feel fat too. I loathe the excess skin on my arms and tummy and thighs. My arms arent horrible, and they would probably be less noticable with exercise, but my stomach and thighs are a train wreck. I do not think my insurance will pay for plastics, so I think that is out of the queastion for me.I guess I will just have to deal with the excess skin. The sad thing is I know I would be down another pant size or 2 with it gone in my stomach. It is amazing though that I can feel people look at me now (just passerbys), when before I was invisible. Makes me feel good. Also I notice that people are more apt to come up and randomly talk to me. Does being thinner make me more approachable? I guess so.

Well I went on a family vacation for the 4th of July, and I snacked a lot. I even gained 2 lbs back, Ugh! Sooo, time to buckle down. I really want to be serious and lose the weight when it is the most easiest ( which is the first 6 months). I know I am not getting in all my protien, because I absolutely loathe those protien shakes/suppliments. I really don't know what to do there, so far I am just praying that I will not be nutritionally deficient. I really should be trying different suppliments, but I just don't want to waste a lot of money. I am very good at taking my vitamins like I am supposed to be doing, so the main thing I am worried about is my protien levels being too low. Unfortunately if that happens the only alternative will be to figure out a way to take those protien shakes.

I think I did get rid of the C. Diff! It has been over 2 weeks and ther is no sign of it. I am still taking probiotics, just on a smaller dosage. I am hoping that they will help to keep me regular, because I have heard that constipation can be a big problem for us, and I don't even want to go there. The C. Diff is always in the back of my head though. I definitely want to take all precautions NOT to get it back again.

Well my weight is now only slowly going down. Yes, I am disappointed. I was hoping it would be dropping faster, but I do need to buckle down more and quit the snacking for sure. I am currently 181 ( I am aching to be in the 170's). I have lost 52 lbs since surgery. I would like to be down 30 more, which would put me at 150. I am hoping to be there in 3 months, but at this point I think 4 months would be more realistic. I am hoping at a year to be 135. I am not sure if I am drinking enough water or not (I am not keeping track), but I don't seem to be dehydrated. Everyone notices that I have lost weight, some people know about the surgery, and some don't. I tell who I want.

Well I found out yesterday that a gastric bypass patient is indeed able to vomit. After eating raspberries, I developed a painful case of the foamies (which I have also never experienced before, but involved burping up spit for about a half an hour, and painful chest pain radiating into my back) until I finally vomited up all the raspberries I had eaten. I am not really sure what caused this. I can have raspberries and have had them before with no problems. The only problem I can think of is the fact that I might have eaten them a little too fast being they went down so easily???? I don't really know but I am a little terrified to try them again. Otherwize doing great. I finished all the Flagyl for my C. Diff and am silently praying that I don't get it back. I guess there is a 40% chance. fingers crossed though. Good news is I have lost another pound which puts me at a total of 48 lbs lost. My weight is currently 185.6. I had my six week check-up with my dietician and she said I am ahead of the game percentage wize with my weight loss (mostly bcause I was so sick), she said I am ahead of where I should be even at my 3 month check-up, so that was great to hear. And I feel I deserve it for having to battle that nasty disease. The weight has been coming off slow though since I have been eating solids. I am hoping the weight loss picks up more, because at this rate I am only losing 4 lbs a month, which is depressing at this stage of the game. Although I only have 35 more to go until reaching my surgeons goal, my hope is to be in the 135 range, which means I have 50 more to go. Eeekk! I really think it is time to throw in the exercise as much as I loathe it.

I realize that it has been awhile since I updated, but around week 4, after my 3rd visit to the hospital, the doctors realized that I had C.Diff. I am being treated for this horrible disease now that I got while I was in the hospital!!!! It basically something that attacks your colon/intestines and kills off all the good bacteria in there and leaving only the bad bacteria to wreak havock, and by havock I mean I had diarrhea every half an hour, even into the night, painful rolling stomach aches, horrible nausea, dehydration (which I found out will diminish your potasium levels) and dry heaves for me (I say dry heaves because I cannot vomit after surgery). For a light weight I lost 44 lbs in a month, which is a lot. The only thing that kills this horrible disease is Bleach, and it is spread by ingesting it. It can live on surfaces for up to 2 years. It can spread person to person and through spores. Proper handwashing is vital. Luckily we have 3 bathrooms at our house, so I have been given my own bathroom, to help to not spread it to my other family members. 40% of people who get this will not get rid of it the first time and will have it back with-in 8 weeks. Once you have had it you are more likely to get it again. I am constantly cleaning my kitchen bathrooms and laundry rooms with Bleach, and praying that the medication I am on will get rid of it the first time for me. In the hospital they were constantly giving me potassium, because I was so dehydrated from this disease. I have never been so sick in all my life. The thing is, I contributed it all to the surgery. I thought I was at fault. I was constantly angry with myself for becoming dehydrated. If you have any of these symptoms. Get a stool sample tested ASAP!! Okay now that I have vented. My total weight loss for 6 weeks is 47lbs!! I am 3 pounds away from a 50lb loss! I have not lost much in the last 2 weeks because I think my body is still collecting nutrients from my being so ill, the doctor told me it would happen because I was sooo dehydrated from having C.Diff. I am still very thrilled with my weight loss! I honestly thought I was not going to lose weight very fast, because I never ate a ton of food to begin with. I have exercized very little so far because I have been so sick, but hopefully I can kick this C. Diff to the curb and start exercizing. I know I need to up my metabolism, because I get very little exercise in my life. I am 36.4 lbs from my doctors goal! I would personally like to be smaller, but I am reluctant right now to set another goal. I will see about setting another one when I reach the first one, because honestly if I can make it to 150lbs, I will be ecstatic!

Oh yes I forgot to write on my week 3 update that I am fitting into a comfortable size 12 jeans now, which is down from a super tight 14 ( like I would lay on the bed to button them) before I started my journey, aka 35 lbs ago.

I have one more week of liquids and hopefully that means no more protien shakes, because I am so. sick. of. protien. shakes. Really. I told myself I was going to be honest on all these, so here goes. I ended up in the hospital this week from dehydration. I went in for a routine check-up, unrelated to surgery, and they said your blood pressure is way to low, you are dehydrated. So they sent me to the hospital and pumped me full of fluids. Problem is, I didnt even know I was dehydrated. I didn't feel dehydrated, I wasn't thirsty, and I felt like I was getting in enough liquids. SO now I am over-doing it a bit I think. I am feeling nauseated from all the liquids. I think it is working though because I didn't lose as much weight after my visit to the ER. This week I have lost 3.8lbs ( which I am a little disappointed with, because I did see a smaller # on the scale and I was hoping for the 5 lb loss like the last 2 weeks, plus I feel I am loosing rather slowly, but it is probably water weight from being on the IV and from over-doing it in the liquid department) this is a total of 14 lbs lost since surgery and 35 since before my pre-op diet.