So_Sweet
Are you talking to/about me?!?!?!!!
May 22, 2010
While I am grateful, and a bit embarrassed, by all of these wonderful compliments, I am also confused. I have never been an AW, so I never looked for other people to validate my exisitence. Now more and more people are taking notice of my physical appearence, and it scares the hell outa me. I have always flown under the radar as the nice fat girl, and now I am the "smokin' hot" girl that everyone is talking about. I know I sound a little crazy complaining about compliments, but I am the same Gwen, just 125 pounds lighter. I feel like you did not say anything to my face about my weigth pre WLS, so whay all the hoopla now?
Okay... I'm finished. It's off my chest and I can breathe a little better. If your read this... thanks for listening!
Hellooooo Spring!
Apr 06, 2010
Spring is a time of renewal, when things that have withered away during the winter begin to bloom once again. For the first time in a very long time I am happy that Spring is here. I used to dread the change in the seasons because it meant that I would be subjected to seeing all the skinny biotches flaunting their toned bodies in pretty sun dresses, capris, shorts, and skirts. While I, on the other hand, was still subjected to wearing my dark clothes, mainly pants and long sleeved shirts (even in the 110 degree Texas summers), that I felt I had to endure because nothing else looked halfway decent on my 324 pound frame. Since RNY I have lost enough weight to enjoy dressing up in sun dresses, capris, and shorts... and I think Iook pretty nice if I do say so myself. I have spent a ridiculous amount of money buying new clothes, that I know will be too big in a few months. However, to see my husband stare at me the way he did when we first met (before the drastic weight gain), to have my students compliment me on how "nice I look", and my children to say that "their mommy looks GOOOD!" was worth every penny. For the first time in about 8 years I am embracing Spring and am stepping out in the bright sunshine, wearing some high heel sandals (haven't done that in forever), flaunting my size 16 with my head held higher than any skinny biotch I pass!
Is that really me?!
Mar 19, 2010
Admittedly I have gone from wearing a size 26 to a size 16... did I just say that... a freakin' 16!? I have not been a 16 since high school. Anyway, that itself is proof that RNY is working for me, but I just don't see any difference when I look in the mirror. I guess that is God's way of keeping my head in check, because WLS has never been about my appearence.
At 7 1/2 months out life has been good (with the exception of my over acting ovaries). I feel better now in all aspects of my life. I thank God for blessing me, helping me, and keeping me during this journey. I know that without Him, 'I never would have made it!" ~ Marvin Saap
Back down memory lane...
Mar 08, 2010
On another note, I have found that I take a lot less crap from people now that I am losing weight. It's as though when I had RNY I was also given a shot of courage. I speak up for myself, have cussed a few people out, and have stopped settling for less than what I deserve.
Well I have rambled enough... Peace & Blessings!
The Devil is a LIAR!!!!!
Jan 11, 2010
Well I have been ferventing praying about this situation, and I think GOD has answered me because I keep meeting people who are encouraging me to go further with my education. I have also talked to one of my professors, and she said I am definitely a good candidate. So even though I have not made a decision yet, it is a wonderful thing to know that GOD still answers prayers.
As Usher once sang.... "This is my confession"
Jan 06, 2010
There is this new show that comes on entitled "One Big Happy Family". I think it comes on TLC. It is about an African American family (mom, dad, son, and daughter) that all over 300 pounds.
In watching this show I became repulsed by this family. I felt guilty because even though I have had RNY, I am still obese, and I could not believe that I was looking at them in disgust. What pissed me off the most was that their children were both super obese, and the parents encouraged this.
As twisted as this might be, even though I am over weight, I have always encouraged good eating habits and exercise for my kids. I did not want them to have the same struggles as I had growing up, so I made sure they ate the right foods, got enough sleep, and stayed active. This has worked for me so far because they are all healthy "normal" children.
Anyhow, the youngest child is border-line diabetic and the doctor had told the parents that he needed to lose weight before he needed to be put on medication. Well needless to say, they did not help him to make better choices because they were making poor choices themselves. When does this become child neglect? As an adult, you have the right to do whatever the hell you want to, but as a parent you must ALWAYS ensure the well-being of your children. Not ensuring that their child is following the right diet IS NOT looking out for his best interest.
So after the doctor pretty much tells the parents their enabling their child to an early grave, the family decides to start making changes for a healthier lifestyle. I am happy that they made this decision, however now all you hear is complaining about eating veggies and working out. At that point I just got frustrated that I turned off the program.
If you are still reading this and asking yourself "Why in the hell is she watching this show if she is so repulsed by it?" Well... that's my next confession. I have a TV on my treadmill, and I watch it so that I can be motivated to walk a little longer, faster, and harder. I know I am a horrible person.
If it is any consolation, I have my before picture in my purse, on my refrigerator, and on my bathroom mirror to discourage me from making poor choices.
Time sure flies...
Oct 05, 2009
When you have so much to do, and not enough time to do it. It has definitely been a while since I have been on here. Life happens, and mine is in a whirl wind. Between grad school, work, husband, and kids, I feel like I am running in circles. Hopefully things will die down soon, but until then I will squeeze in some me time when I can.
In mourning....
Aug 16, 2009
.~Gwen
Let's Get This Party Started!!!
Aug 04, 2009
Trying to get my mind right...
Jul 14, 2009
So I am still waiting to hear back from the insurance company, and I promised myself that I will not call them to check on the status AGAIN 
until at least Wednesday. I know that I need to just relax, but I can not. Anyway, yesterday I put myself on a liquid diet to try and shed the 10 pounds that I have gained by stuffing my face due to the stress of waiting for this insurance approval. It really wasn't that bad, during the day I had two protein shakes, about 96 oz. of water, and another 32 oz. of water with SF snapple mixed in. For dinner I had a sauteed chicken breast, new potatoes, spinach (for the first time in my life I took my time eating and I stretched it out to 20 minutes), and about 20 more oz. of water. I also worked out for 45 minutes yesterday (30 min. on the treadmill and 15 minutes of lightweight training). Instead of eating all day like I usually do, I started reading "Twilight" (I bought the first 2 books of the series to see what all of the hype is about with my kids and students), and it's actually pretty good (read 137 pages). Thank GOD it was a GREAT DAY!!!!!
Today I started out the same way, worked out for 45 minutes, had 1 protein shake so far, and I am working on my water. I figure if I start working on the diet now, then I can get the first available surgery date, and I will have already lost whatever weight Dr. Turnquest wants to be gone before surgery. I am hoping to get under 300 pounds before surgery, depending upon when I can have it done, because if they call me today, I am trying to get in tomorrow 
. Well enough of my rambling... I pray that today is just as productive.
