Teresa L.

Send Message

Block

Add Friend

What a great birthday present to find out I am finally just over weight, not obese any longer!!  I am so thankful!!  It's great being on the losers bench, and being able to see my goal in sight.  A year ago I never thought I would be here now!!  On a second thought spanx are amazing!!  So thankful I treated myself I feel great!!

Ok so today is my 33rd Birthday, but I stopped counting at 29!!  And oddly quite a few ppl I know are very surprised when they find out that I am in my 30's.  How does this relate to my views on food now.  Gosh let me tell you I have been stressing over food for months now.  I obess over food all the time, I'm always thinking about what I can and can't eat.  I never even thought much about food before.  Just opened mouth and ate.  That's how I got in my predictament.  But now when I wake up each and every morning I can't help but think of all the things I have to do that day and how they relate to eatting.  I feel like I'm getting OCD about food.  With my birthday approaching this week I tell you I stressed over where to go for dinner like a nut case!! LOL!!! I surfed many a resturant website to look at the menus, to plan my meal, over thought about when to order things to make sure that if I order the appitizer first then waitted until the waiter comes to clear then and only then put my dinner order in so that I have time to digest and can have a little dinner.  I have even planned out the seating ahead of time so that I can share my meal with my daughter.  Gosh a year ago I would never had put so much thought and planning in to a birthday dinner!! Honestly I am not sure if this is a good thing or not?!?! It's great that I am putting thought in to what I put in my mouth before I do, but the obssessive part is driving me nuts.  Oh and the cravings, God forbid something pop in to my mind, like oooh my friend makes this great Phillapean dish with very thin rice noodles, I think about that dish and I can't think of eating anything else until I have it.  And I think about it night and day, and not with just that dish, with anything that pops in my mind.  It's so weird, it reminds me of when I was pregnant with my first child. LOL!!  I just wonder if because I am only 4 1/2 months out if it just the adjustment period or if this is a long term thing.  Will I be OCD about food forever??? 

I can't believe how long it has been since I last posted anything.  But my goodness is sure is nice to be much much more active.  I get around so much easier now and I am so thankful.  I am very fortunate that I have a decent paying job that I can afford to work 3 days then have 3 days off with my kids, well mainly the littlest one.  Because for the older two at almost 11 & 12 it isn't cool to hang with mom!!  At least my little guy will like me for awhile more, lol!!  We have a great time spending all of those days off running and playing in the sun, weather permitting.  I'm so thankful that I had made this difficult decision, if I had it to do all over again I would.

Now I would be lying if I said all was roses and rainbows.  I have started to loose my hair, if think.  I really think I am obsessing on it.  So tomorrow I am going to get a shorter doo!!  I am also struggling with my prenatal vitamins, I choke on those darn pills no matter what I try other than taking them with juice, and I am trying to avoid juice.  But oddly enough I can take any pill, any size if I take it with juice.  But really its not the end of the world. 

I find it still odd when people see me for the first time post op,  I can hardly believe how much I have lost.  My gosh I only have 35 lbs to go.  I go to get ready for work and am shocked how small my pants are now and that I have only recently bought them and they are getting so loose, I most likely could already go down a size in work clothes again, weird.

I am going away for a all ladies weekend away, I needed a new bathing suit top, I have always hated trying to things on so I picked out something I thought would fit, boy my head hasn't caught up with my new body it was so so big on me!!! Silly me!!

I was wondering if this day was ever going to get here, but it did!!  I am over the moon to actually have finally have reached this goal.  I have been wanting to get under 200 lbs for so long that it amazes me that I am finally here.  It feels so good, but now to set the next goal, this was the big one for me, next big one is my end goal of 150.  This is so amazing.  I should have know it would come soon, because I actually bought a pair of pants this week in a 14 and they fit.  I thought that down the road they would fit but because I bought them at Costco I had to wait until I got home to try them one.  So close to single digit clothing sizes.  Its at times odd cuz a year ago I was closing in on 300 lbs and now I don't have to be worried about that becoming a reality.  No more nightmares about waking up one day and needing a crane to get out of my house. 
I actually enjoy working out now, and I am looking forward to being able to run an play with my family this summer.  I'm on cloud 9 today!!

Gosh it's been a bumpy ride thus far.  I couldn't even begin to count the amount of times I have said to myself, why the heck!!  My 3 week stall this soon out didn't help much either.  However I am finally on the losers bench again!!  Hopefully with all my hard work at the gym I will continue to be on the bench.  I am only 6 lbs away from my first step in heaven!!  I can't wait to get on the scale and see it start with a 1, Not a 2!!  I am oh so close.  Now to keep on my protein shakes, which are killing me.  I hate chocolate and the premaid ones I found only came in chocolate.  I am off to cross the border this weekend and am going to see if I can find something better.  Not much choice around here.  I am terribley sore today but when I see the scale move I am oh so happy.  But granted I think I am more sore today because we went 10 pin bowling and then later to the gym as well yesterday, so I had a double workout.  It felt good to get out and do something fun and active.  Tonight off to water arobics and then I get my 1st month check in with the clinic in the morning.  I am actually excited to go.  I return to work in just 2 short weeks and the thought of weighing under 200 lbs by the time I return has me so excited!!

I never in my wildess dreams would have EVER thought I would look forward to going to the gym.  Now I get that I am still in the honeymoon faze, but honestly I wake up in the morning looking forward to going and when I'm there it doesn't feel like a chore.  When I leave I feel so good about myself, I know that I am doing this for me and me only.  That some time soon I can look back and say damn, I did really good for me and my kids.  I can see oneunderland in my sights so close I can't wait to report that I am there.  I finally stopped say to myself in my head, why the heck did I do this.  The pain at night has finally almost all subsided, thank god!!  I made for a really hard time sleeping when everytime I rolled I felt like I was being stabbed in either side or both.  Not fun, but only had minimal pain lastnight.  So I finally feel like I am getting there for real.  I kept telling myself that, but now I truly feel it.  I plan to just keep myself at a steady pace and see where I go.  I and I have to mention that I noticed yesterday that my thighs don't rub together like they used to!!  What a thrill that was, god that will be nice this summer not to have my thunder thighs on fire.  Can't believe it, can't even remember when I didn't have to worry about that!!  Yay!!

So I finally joined the local gym yesterday afternoon, and went back for a workout last night.  Honestly I didn't quite know how it would go my first time, but I was pleasantly surprised.  I did 45 minutes on the treadmill, burning 200 calories and walking 2.5 miles, all done at a quicker pasce than I usually walk and on an incline.  I was red faced and sweating up a storm!  I also did 15 minutes on the bike, getting my heart rate up to the desired 150 and keeping it there until my legs were jello!!  And boy were they when I got off and got ready to go home.  I feel really proud of myself, and can't wait to go back today.  More so I am looking forward to going and trying the aqua fit class on Monday morning, should be really good.
Now if I can get my protein shakes to go down better, but I have just come to realize I have to take half a gravol just before I have a shake or else I feel really ill. 

Looking forward to my first outting tomorrow night, most haven't seen me yet, so that should be fun.  But not having much to wear is hard to get used to!!.  I think I have 4 pairs of pants and a couple of tops that aren't now dresses!!  I need to weed out my closet and dessers, which scares me because I know there won't be anything left.  I am putting off buying new things only on an as needed basis at this point.  But I know I will have to buy panties soon, what a weird feeling the other day when I noticed how ill fitting they now are, I had to laugh at the saggyness of them.  Just a reminder of how well things are going on that front.  Yay!!

So its a beautiful day here, and I was running low on somethings so I thought I would take a walk with my 2 year old cutie.  Wow pre-op I could walk for miles, now I am so tired with a few short blocks.  Gosh I miss my energy.  But from all I have read soon I guess I will have loads of energy, but when really?? LOL!! Impatient bugger aren't I!!  I have been a little bad with regard to what I have been eatting, it's been difficult.  Liquids have been hard, the only thing that has sat really well in my new pouch has been cold peel n eat shrimp.  Which is nice I love shrimp, but why that sits the best for me right now is a big weird.  Oatmeal is hit or miss, I tried cottage cheese takes like an a hour to get it in, which sucks cuz I love it.  But I will continue to try it here and there as well as other things.  I have to say the sunshine and feeling the wind in my face did make me feel a tad better today, too bad I got home and feel drained beyond belief.  Bit in time I guess I should keep telling myself.  I do thank god I have a go to food that I both like and feels ok after I eat it, and on a plus side its a good source of protein. 

Ok when I look at the scale, it makes me so happy, I'll be honest.  Not to mention shopping with my daughter last week I bought an outfitt thinking it will fit in like a month or something, but it fits already!!  I was shocked.  I bought an outfit in a regular size store, true I got an extra large, but god I have been wearing 2x for so long it seems so weird.  I'm truly excited by my weight loss, but honestly I do wonder at times if this was worth it.  And when I am fully healed I will most likely say yes, but for now it has been a hard road.  I feel like a suck at times, but getting all my fluids in, and I am struggling with my protein shake.  It will get better, it will get better!!  I know I will look back and laugh at how I felt now and what a suck I'm being.  Gosh my work has already bothered me about coming back, but when I am spending all day occupied with drinking how the hell can I have time to work for 8 hours??  There's no room left!!  In time I keep telling myself.  I will get there and at the end I will look fabulous!!

So I had my 1 week post-op check up today at St. Joes.  Other than the big C, I'm doing great.  But that is a big problem I'm hoping to over come very soon. 
So I'm down 8 inches overall so far, and a bunch of weight, gosh I'm almost down 50 lbs from my highest weight, and even got into my skinny pants today that I haven't been able to get past my knees in almost 4 years!!  Gosh I could just dance!!  If I wasn't so uncomfortable that is.  I can't believe how for the most part this is going great, I am dropping so much weight with little effort, I can't wait to see what I can do when I actually start working for it.  I am so excited for the future, been a very long time since I felt this way.  Its a great day today!!  Even better when the meds kick in.