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I went to the States for a week to visit family. We decided on Friday the 13th to go Tubing on the Shenadona River I hope I spelt it right. Anyways it is in Virginia.

Well 4 1/2 hours later I am nauseas, burnt to a crisp and can't see. Everything is spinning!
Sun stroke or heat stroke.
I took a shower which made it worse. I had the shakes, and  couldn't keep a thing down.
Since then I can't keep a thing down hate to drink anything, and don't even try to eat. the silly thing is I have the runs. only liquid yellow like bile is all that is coming out.
The ride hope was horrible cause I had to stop soo many times to dump. Drank 500 ml. of Gator ade, and a Mountain dew, I was afraid of water cause every time I drank it I gave it up.
Well assoon as I got in the door I gave it all up.
SUn burn is still there, hurting every time I move my arms Yes I used sun screen not enough, not all over. My legs who have not seen sun since the 80's got the worse and my upper arms.
My lips are totally blistered and swollen.
I feel horrible just want to stay in bed! But I have to call the doctor and make an appointment and see what she says.
Since I have to be better for my surgery.
Besides my right lower side hurst I think it is an ovary infection cause the pain is that low.
Also I found a lump on the side of my ride side beside the breast. WOW what is going on with me!
I finally start to get my life together and I feel like I am falling apart. All I wanted to do was have fun as a fat person before surgery.
I am afraid to start my Optifast which I must do.
Please let me get better before surgery cause I know I will feel worse after surgery and I don't want to start now!
I hate to vomit, I hate sitting on the toilet forever. I hate this feeling!

 Well it is a great week so far and it is still only Wednesday.
Monday was my birthday, I drove down to visit my relatives in Virginia, When I arrived I was blessed with exciting news that my cousin is expecting, she found out that day and that was the best birthday present anyone could have given. She too had the surgery 2 years ago and looks fantastic and lost more than she wanted and now a little one will be going the family, I can't wait!
Then Tuesday I went around the town with family and Christa calls!! THank goodness I took my cell phone!!! Wednesday September 15, 2010 at 9 am my surgery is scheduled.!!!! YEA finally, It is also the day of another cousin's birthday!! What great relatives to share important dates with me!!
Today my oldest is coming down to Va. We will be celebrating till Sunday together. Her Birthday was the 5th and on Saturday is another cousin birthday celebrating her 1st!!! So many good people together celebrating life and achievements.

SO as of Monday I will start my Optifast and celebrate the last of the old me!! THe new me shall start a new life with a new start in life.
I am soooo STOKED!!!!

Thanks for the support y'all!

    I sit here waiting and hoping and looking to the phone in case I missed the ring. I wonder how long after the scope I can expect a call. I have to be on Optifast 3 weeks before surgery so if I start now that means the first week in September. Woot Woot!!
So I'll wait next week and hope some one will call me with pre-op appointment or sugery date!!
I mean if they know it is September then why not tell me NOW!! Right?! Let me be or start to be excited and all the things that go with it!! PLEASE
Maybe I should call and ask if there is any news but then again I am afraid if I call they'll put me to the back of the list and say NOPE now it's OCtober!!
My kids ask every day when they get home "So did they call?" I can't wait to tell them YES and it is  .-.-.-.-.-.-
Patience is a virtue and I got none
Well i'll just rant here and hope I get a call on Monday!!
Have a good weekend !

Well I had my scoping done yesterday July 30th. As I sat waiting I found out they wanted me to also do the colonoscopy which I
had done last year in June so seeing 3 other patients waiting to get in for their scoping, I asked why I had to have my gastro redone. They said it was because i was over 50 I said yea and last year I was over 50 too and was told to go back in 5 years. SO because I had my results with me I gave them a copy and I was only to do the gastro. Well I was nervouse.I kept telling them to knock me out all the way.
As the doctor was prepping me he said ok when I tell you to swallow please do so I said HECK no I want ot be knocked out you do it with out my help!! He said it didn't work that way I started to cry and said but I gag with anything in my mouth PLEASE knock me out! The nurse said I wouldn't feel a thing and to relax I cried even more!!
Then I woke up in the recovery room. SO did I go through with the gastro? I don't know !! I hade no sore throat, no gagging feeling and I felt great. Now I only hope they did the gastro and not say ok forget it! she is a wimp!!I'm going to call Christa on Monday and find out if it was done!  Cause if it went well then I was a silly

All I need now is my preo op appointment and my surgery date!!

Well today is the 17th and I got an internist appointment the 6th of July at 8:30 am hope to find out more and what is still to come before surgery!
Getting anxious and needy!!
I just want this behind me I have waited to long and it seems like forever, I know it is only 6 weeks since I had orientation but it is still forever!

Why is it I feel so down today? Don't know the tears are coming none stop. Is it anxiety for the wait of having this surgery? Is it the fact I am presently off work and want to get back and I don't know if I should wait it out til after the surgery?
I have so many things that I have been invited to like my daughters graduation ceremony in Montreal the end of June. Her last one; man we have been to so many through out her career and after 21 years in school, college, university my girl is a full pledge medical profession.
Then my son graduates as a pilot and I can fly with him on his first co pilot trip in Europe the weekend of July and I must be there a week before leaving here 26th of june until the 5th.
Then I am invited to a confirmation ceremony north of Toronto the end of July all these special events that I so want to be part of and can't commit due to not knowing if I go back to work,  when I will have surgery, am I capable of doing all these things?
Then I haven't been paid by my insurance cause the shrink hasn't filled out the papers properly and no one knows what to do.

Man right now I hate the wait; the frustration of wondering because I have gall stones will they still do the surgery? Do I have to get rid of the stones first? What can I do ?
I need to get a new therapist, new shrink, new life!

So my blood work is in and my Ultra sound, I found out I have multi large gall stones! Wow I never knew I ahd them I am not in any pain, They say I have a urinary track infection as well, So I am on antibiotics and I hav to go back for that part again next week. And no symptoms to any of the above conditions.
Since May 3rh right after the orientation I stopped drinking coffe OK I had a large decaf but once but that is it and I have had no alcohol, no wine in the evenings or beer on those great hot summer nights with the guys!!  My mood is the same, and I am getting excited to see the nurse, social worker, dietitian all on Wednesday! I hope they have good news for me.

Where o where do I start, 
I was always a normal fit size 14 /16. for my bone size. Always on diets to get down to a size 12, succeed and then get back up to 16 again; then I got pregnant started gaining 90 in the first pregnancy and well never really got rid of that baby fat had the second child and third, fourth and fifth! The last were twins. I gained the least with them but I had been already 320 pounds. My life spiraled down hill from there. One diet after another, my heaviest was 360 pounds. You name a diet I was on it: Herbal Magic, Dr. Bernstein, Dr. Poon, liquid and grapefruit,  low carbs, to HELP!!!

I looked at all my family members and on my mother side we were all overly round, pleasantly plump. So I figured it had to be hereditary. I hated my look, I hated my life, my marriage broke down cause my husband found me to be ugly, untouchable, He didn't see the pain I was in, the frustration I was having with myself, the failure I felt like. Now my only love I failed him. I decided to ask for medical help they put me on depressants which caused weight gain! I couldn't move, be agile, I felt horrible about my looks, if my own husband found me ugly what must others think!! I felt reluctant to go out and I tried to keep a good front for my children but they saw the difficluties. I started looking into surgery I wanted my jaws glued together, my mouth sew together, anything to help me not eat. I felt I had no will power. I had no support cause I all heard was EXERCISE!! Well if I went swimming I heard and saw the looks I got, I saw the looks at the fitness center I was the only tubby chubby there!                                 

I have been waiting for 5 years now and I can say I see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Being in Ontario Canada OHIP has strict procedures to follow before getting surgery; not like the States. I did try for "out of country" but OHIP refused me and forwarded my request to Hamilton Hospital.
I was 327 pounds when I first went to the consultation meeting at St. Joe's the beginning of May 2010 and I found it different from other places I had gone to visit.
There was a nurse, dietitian, social worker all ready to talk and give details of the surgery along with an intensive handbook of what is to come and questionnaires to fill out. They had a great slide show and even a former patient to tell her experience.
If we were still interested we were to call back and make an appointment with Crystal, for the next step. First we need blood test ( a lot too) some are not covered by OHIP. Also urine test, ultra sound,  sleep test if we already haven't had one. Gastric test, colon test, xray of lungs, ECG.Once that is all done we get to see a nurse, dietitian, social worker which  is all coming up next month.
We are also to take Optifast a liquid diet before surgery to help shrink our fatty liver and I looked into it. It can only be sold through a doctor. If you go to www.optifast.com you can find out more about it. $110. a week. IF the surgery is not for you then maybe Optifast can help.
I went to see the doctor in Toronto and found him interesting and started the Optifast last Wednesday, (I know I should probably wait till St. Joe tells me to start but I want to be ready! if there is a cancellation I can be that one to take it.) There are 2 flavors vanilla and chocolate, And honestly they are not bad in flavor. I have the Magic Bullet and I add ice and water to make it like an ice cap. IT isn't bad at all, I added Orange juice to vanilla once & it tastes like orange julep for those of you who know what it is. I quite like them.  You have to take 4 packages a day no other meals 7, 11, 3, and 7 at night and they do really keep you full till the next time. Drink water, tea, between. You go once weekly to your doctor for follow up so next Wednesday I will know if it helped the first week.
I figure if it does then I am on the road to loosing the weight that I have been lugging for 27 years since my first child was born.
Time now to stop carrying the extra baggage. Time to have fun, feel good, look great, and be fit.
I hope to fulfill the rest of my dreams once I can be more mobile, more energetic,