To tell or Not to Tell...

Hi guys, I run a non-profit organization and am wondering how to handle telling people that I will be out on medical leave. I have already told my senior staff that I am having surgery and what kind of surgery it is. Mainly because I work very closely with them and I consider them friends. The rest of the staff does not know. We are a small group (about 12) so I have to tell them that I will be out for two weeks and no one is going to believe that I am going on vacation for 2 weeks - besides I am really going on vacation in July. I had planned to just say that I was going to have surgery or that I was going out on medical leave. I think this is just going ot raise more questions that I will have to either evade, answer honestly or lie about. My life is basically an open book. My daddy taught me to never lie so I try to live up to that. I also don't want to set an example of lying to my staff, particularly when it will be so obvious when I loose soooo much weight after surgery. I know telling the truth will give people liberty to tell me about the people they know who had the surgery and regretted it, people saying I don't need it or and people giving me examples of others who have failed. It also feels like a public admission that "yes, I am fat, and I am not ok about it." My surgery date is May 10th so I have a little time but I need to make a decision soon. What did other people do? Did anyone else have a similar situation? Thanks!

I had the same problem. I decided to tell people at work I was having surgery, but not exactly what it is. I just told them I was having some internal stuff fixed and that seemed to take care of it. There is one girl at work who I did tell because she had it done two years ago and she has been my biggest supporter. I am like you, I didn't want to hear other people's opinions about having it, or not. I feel it is my life and I am doing what is best for me. Thanks, Betsy

Congrats on your surgery date! Only a handful of people outside my immediate family know. One is a mom at dance class who, since her surgery last March, has lost about 150 lbs. She's been a wonderful supporter. Another friend I told does nothing but tell me horror stories that she's heard. I decided that one doesn't need to know my date. It's hard to keep something like this from people. If you feel the need to tell then by all means share it! If you're not sure then say you're having surgery and once the weight starts melting, then tell them what you did. It's not necessarily lying. You are telling them that you're having surgery. You're just not elaborating. Best wishes! This is gonna be a skinny board by the end of the summer. ;) * Cyndi *

I work with several girls myself, I just told them I was taking 4 weeks of personal leave. That lets them know I will be out and it usually stops any further questioning. I'm sure they ask one another questions but my boss is the only one that NEEDS to know. I asked her as well not to say anything because I wanted it kept private. Good Luck, God Bless.

I've struggled with the decision as well. I am a preschool teacher and the parents are kind of nosy, so at this point I have left it at a medical issue that needs to be taken care of. Yeah, they'll probably figure it out in the fall when I am downmaybe 60 or so pounds and I don't mind them knowing. I just don't want any negativity beforehand. Afterwards, they can judge as they wish, but surgery will be done and over with. My co-workers and friends know and they have all been incredibly supportive. I know for a fact that some of them don't really believe in the surgery (due to conversations well before I ever decided to have the surgery), but I think that if someone is a friend they will support you and your decision regardless of their personal opinions. On a side note, I've found the heavier a person is, the less they think the surgery is a good idea--I always figured it would be the other way around. Amy

So far all the people I've told have been very supportive and most of them envious, but in a good way. I guess the reality is that I only need to tell a few people and the rest will find out. Thanks everyone for sharing your experience. Amari