WEIGH-IN OR REPORT IN
HI FRIENDS,
WELL THE STRUGGLES ON. THE WEIGHT GOES UP AND DOWN. I GO FROM 155 TO 163 BUT MOSTLY STAY AROUND 158. I AM GETTING SCARED TO EAT. ARE ANY OF YOU GOING THROUGH THIS EXPERIENCE? MY FAMILY THINKS I AM ANOREXIC BUT I HAVE BEEN 300 LBS. FOR SO LONG THAT I STILL SEE MYSELF AS FAT AND WANT TO LOSE 10 MORE POUNDS JUST SO I HAVE A SAFE ZONE.
ARE ANY OF YOU SCARED AT THIS POINT?
HUGS AND HELP
LOVE, ESTHER
WELL THE STRUGGLES ON. THE WEIGHT GOES UP AND DOWN. I GO FROM 155 TO 163 BUT MOSTLY STAY AROUND 158. I AM GETTING SCARED TO EAT. ARE ANY OF YOU GOING THROUGH THIS EXPERIENCE? MY FAMILY THINKS I AM ANOREXIC BUT I HAVE BEEN 300 LBS. FOR SO LONG THAT I STILL SEE MYSELF AS FAT AND WANT TO LOSE 10 MORE POUNDS JUST SO I HAVE A SAFE ZONE.
ARE ANY OF YOU SCARED AT THIS POINT?
HUGS AND HELP
LOVE, ESTHER
Hey ! I lost 130 lbs. and if i gain ANY i get nervous !! i know exactly how you feel !! its ok, as long as we are healthy and happy i dont care what the rest of them say !! let them walk in our shoes for a few minutes !! karen
Esther, I hear ya! I am 4 lbs. away from my original goal and am lucky to lose a pound a month these days. I bounce between 154 & 157 and it kills me. One time the scale said 161 and I freaked out! I am a size 8 now and still see myself as a 259 lb. woman! My hottie man husband thinks I'm absolutely nuts. Hang in there and fight the fight, Woman! ~April
Hi April,
Why is that, that we see ourselves fat? I am 5 ft. 11in and 158 and everyone tells me I look boney but I still see myself as fat. I guess I was big for so long that my brain hasn't adjusted. I still go to the plus size clothing. My daughter gets furious with me because she says I am looking tired and frail. Yet, I feel as fat as ever. My husband thinks I am nuts too so join the club.
Hugs,
Esther
Why is that, that we see ourselves fat? I am 5 ft. 11in and 158 and everyone tells me I look boney but I still see myself as fat. I guess I was big for so long that my brain hasn't adjusted. I still go to the plus size clothing. My daughter gets furious with me because she says I am looking tired and frail. Yet, I feel as fat as ever. My husband thinks I am nuts too so join the club.
Hugs,
Esther
Hi Esther! Oh my scale bounces between 139.2 and 142 constantly. My surgeon told me it's completely natural. He said he'd be more worried if my scale absolutely stayed at one number. I eat a lot now. My emotional eating never left and, well, life sucks for me so I'm constantly grazing. I'm actually shocked I've never gone higher than 142. I'm back down to 140. My best friend and I are back to sharing a Coca-Cola cake at lunch every day. So, I don't mind the bounce cause I LOVE my Coca-Cola cake. LOL Sometimes I'm afraid to eat. I do actually have days where I force myself because I don't want to eat. Then the next day I eat like my old self. Mark gets furious when I practically beg him for a compliment.
Here's an example. I got a GORGEOUS 1950s dress off eBay for my new business. Monday Susie and I wore the 50s dresses (with crinolines!) and hair all swept up and went to Cracker Barrel for lunch. We had a blast and handed out tons of business cards (we do singing telegrams). I came home and asked Mark how I looked. He didn't even freaking look at me and mumbled "nice". So, I looked at the pics Susie's daughter took. Did I see this cute dress that's a 1950s size small? NO! I saw the old 265.8 pound me! I went right in my bedroom, took off the dress, hung it up and tossed on my frumpiest jeans and a sweater (yes, the hair was still up). I felt like ****
But, Esther, remember you're 5'11". Don't go TOO low. I'm 5'8" and sometimes I think I'm too small. I'd love to hit 135 just to say I've lost 130 lbs but I have to be smart too. I joked with my surgeon I'd love to hit 132.9 cause it would be half my old self. He said try it but he didn't think I'd be happy. Ya know what? I'm happy where I am. God knows he wouldn't give me money for clothes. Would you believe I'm still wearing my size large sweaters from last winter?
You do what makes YOU happy. We didn't do all this for our families. We did it for US! I think you look FABULOUS! Our families are so used to our "old" selves that sometimes they just can't deal with the "new" us. At this point I'm happy with me. The heck with everyone else.
Here's an example. I got a GORGEOUS 1950s dress off eBay for my new business. Monday Susie and I wore the 50s dresses (with crinolines!) and hair all swept up and went to Cracker Barrel for lunch. We had a blast and handed out tons of business cards (we do singing telegrams). I came home and asked Mark how I looked. He didn't even freaking look at me and mumbled "nice". So, I looked at the pics Susie's daughter took. Did I see this cute dress that's a 1950s size small? NO! I saw the old 265.8 pound me! I went right in my bedroom, took off the dress, hung it up and tossed on my frumpiest jeans and a sweater (yes, the hair was still up). I felt like ****
But, Esther, remember you're 5'11". Don't go TOO low. I'm 5'8" and sometimes I think I'm too small. I'd love to hit 135 just to say I've lost 130 lbs but I have to be smart too. I joked with my surgeon I'd love to hit 132.9 cause it would be half my old self. He said try it but he didn't think I'd be happy. Ya know what? I'm happy where I am. God knows he wouldn't give me money for clothes. Would you believe I'm still wearing my size large sweaters from last winter?
You do what makes YOU happy. We didn't do all this for our families. We did it for US! I think you look FABULOUS! Our families are so used to our "old" selves that sometimes they just can't deal with the "new" us. At this point I'm happy with me. The heck with everyone else.
* Cyndi *
Hi Cyndi,
It's good to know I'm not alone. My husband wouldn't give me a compliment for anything. My best friend that I grew up with who was always tall and skinny gave me a huge bag of her clothes and I got all dressed up in one of her adorable outfits the other day and I felt so good that I asked him to take my picture so I could send it to all my friends from high school telling them, hey everyone....these are Anne Harriette's clothes. My husband took the picture, never commented and handed the camera back to me without even looking at me. It pissed me off so much that I said something really mean. I told him "How come other men look at me and desire me and you have me right here in front of you and ignore me?" He didn't even say anything.
Yet if I go somewhere, he shows up. My friends tell me it's because he is jealous because of the weight loss and afraid he will lose me. You would think that would make him more loveable but I got more attention when I was 300 pounds. So honey, you are not alone, men are weird.
Thanks for cheering me up, I worry about the up and down thing and at least other people experience the same thing and I needed to hear that,
I love your hair..... your hair grows so fast and I love the color. I have mine highlighted but my gray shows too much so I think I am going back to dark. OH and you are like me...you love Halloween and it will be here soon. I can't wait.
Love ya,
Esther
It's good to know I'm not alone. My husband wouldn't give me a compliment for anything. My best friend that I grew up with who was always tall and skinny gave me a huge bag of her clothes and I got all dressed up in one of her adorable outfits the other day and I felt so good that I asked him to take my picture so I could send it to all my friends from high school telling them, hey everyone....these are Anne Harriette's clothes. My husband took the picture, never commented and handed the camera back to me without even looking at me. It pissed me off so much that I said something really mean. I told him "How come other men look at me and desire me and you have me right here in front of you and ignore me?" He didn't even say anything.
Yet if I go somewhere, he shows up. My friends tell me it's because he is jealous because of the weight loss and afraid he will lose me. You would think that would make him more loveable but I got more attention when I was 300 pounds. So honey, you are not alone, men are weird.
Thanks for cheering me up, I worry about the up and down thing and at least other people experience the same thing and I needed to hear that,
I love your hair..... your hair grows so fast and I love the color. I have mine highlighted but my gray shows too much so I think I am going back to dark. OH and you are like me...you love Halloween and it will be here soon. I can't wait.
Love ya,
Esther
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