sad/struggling/afraid

I just found out that a friend of some of my friends (I have only met her once or twice as I live far away from them) died of a heart attack at 32.  She had RNY surgery a little over a year ago.  Now all of these people who had been totally on board with my having the surgery are terrified that I will suffer the same fate as they all seem to be under the impression that the surgery caused the heart attack.  One of my friends called me today begging me to reconsider having the surgery.

I am not sure of how well she has been looking after herself since surgery (nor are they to be honest), but in all the research I have done it seems the major risks are immediately after surgery, not years down the road.

I will definitely be talking to the surgeon about this issue, but my family doctor reassured me that there are far more risks associated with being obese than there are with the surgery.

I just don't know what to think...I know this is the right thing for me and I knew going in that I would have some supporters and some who wouldn't support me, but now I am feeling like I will be putting my friends through a lot of pain as they will fear for my safety during the surgery and long after.

I am sad that a young life was taken so early, but could the surgery really be a cause this long after?

Not looking for medical advice, nor direction as to whether or not to proceed ( I know only I can decide that)...just confused and wanted to vent to a group of people that have been there/are headed there...that won't just jump on the "this surgery is dangerous" bandwagon and may offer some insight/thoughts/reassurance??

Tracy

There is no way any of us can know when we're going to die ... some go early, others who "should" succumb to risky lifestyles enjoy a long and healthy life.  Who's to know?

The way I looked at it, the risks of surgery were relatively low, while the risks of continuing to live with my obesity were very, very much higher.  Just the other day my daughter and I were talking about the differences in my life since my surgery (almost a year ago) and she summed it up beautifully.  "A year ago you were dying; now you're not!"  What more can you say than that?

Don't let others undermine your resolve to have this life-changing surgery.  I can only speak to my own experience; but honestly, it's the best thing I ever did for myself.  Best of luck in your journey.

mo

 Tracy,
I'm sorry you're going through this.  I think you're right when you say nobody knows how well she was taking care of herself.  Likewise, her family history may have contributed.  It's always hard when something happens like this.  However, the number of success stories seems to far outweigh the tragedies.  
Tell the worry warts that you've done your research and this is the right choice for you.  
This is one of the reasons I didn't tell very many people about my surgery until after the fact.  I was afraid I'd hear horror stories.
Anyway, we are all here for you.  Sending you a hug, my friend.
Gail

Hi Tracy,

You are going to hear stories like this a lot.  Everyone seems to know someone that passed away after surgery.  I don't know where they all come from considering the statistics, but please make your own decisions and don't let others influence you.  They probably don't have all the facts and haven't researched this type of surgery.  If their friend had had their gall bladder removed or their appendix out, they would not blame that for a heart attack that happened a year later.  People always seem to blame this type of surgery for anything that happens years afterwards.  I don't mean to seem callous, and hope I'm not coming across that way.  A year later her heart should have been much healthier I would think due to the loss of weight and fat.  

Your friends are concerned, but take that with a grain of salt and keep up your research and discuss this with your surgeon if you are truly worried about it. 

*hugs*

Laura

 If you are asking "would she still be alive if she hadn't had surgery" the answer likely is "hard to know"  -well unless we get her complete medical file, do a coroners inquest etc.. Howevver my gut thought is that  the surgery likely did not cause her death.  

If you don't  know her that well you can't really call her family up and ask all the relevant questions to find out all the information about her medical treatment  and cause of death. She may have been afflicted with something else altogether that weakened her system and caused the heart attack. 

I'd not make my decision based on this information, or let this affect my decision. You know your health, your specific risks and why you are getting this surgery - focus on that. 

Hi Tracy

Sorry to hear of the passing of your friend of a friend.

The benefits ot the surgery outway the risks etc.

I can only comment on my situation.

I had a heart attack in 1995, still here LOL

Had my rny surgery on Oct 12, 2009, it was the best thing I did for myself and my family.

We buried my older sister, (older by 2 years), three years ago and it took 12 strong pall bearers to

carry her casket, I did not want to be in that situation when it was my time.

I had been looking into getting the surgery for 3 years before I actually had the surgery, the reason

why it took so long was that my gp wanted me to investigate and weigh the pros and cons of the

surgery, which I did.  I requested to have the surgery and my immediate family are very proud of me

for having surgery to improve my health and lengthen my years with them. I did not think of it as a

risk.  I felt it was a risk to continue my lifestyle that I had been living with the extra weight & other

health issues.

There will be many stories you will hear whether they be good results or bad results, ultimately it is

your choice to have the surgery and you can change your mind right up to the time of going into the

op room to say yes or no.

My advise is to speak to your doc for the pros and cons for your situation and decide whether you will

continue on the road to wls or not, like you said, only you can make that decision.

Good luck on your journey

Take care

Eileen

Hi Tracy,

First off so sorry for your loss of a friend!!
 

I have to say I wasn't completely convinced about the surgery at first either thinking of all the
"risks" and of course just the bad risks and not the benefits.  The more I researched, read and spoke to people who had already had the surgery the pro's far out weigh the cons.

My cousin had her GBPS in the states and is one of my biggest supporters she didn't have nearly as much testing, screening, and care as we get here in Canada.  I think the program here is very well put together with the teams they have and has the patients health and wellness as their first priority.

Not to sound harsh, but everything we do in life is a risk if you think about it.  We walks and could be hit by a car, we drive and could be in a car accident, and the list goes on but those things I mentioned we don't think twice about and do them in our everyday life.  I realize that surgery is a big risk but it the long run it will be a benefit.

I wish you luck and remember there will always be people who won't agree or like your decision if you go through with the surgery but  you needs to make the best choice for you and no everyone else.

Best of Luck!!

HI Tracy, I agree with what your doctor said "but my family doctor reassured me that there are far more risks associated with being obese than there are with the surgery." He's bang on. Maybe this lady would have had a heart attack 9 months ago but her life was prolonged a little by the surgery. I am no medical professional, but this surgery is designed to help us NOT have heart attacks.

Hi Tracy
I'm sorry that your friend passed away, but  your family history is different from your friend . go ahead and talk to your surgeon bring one of your friends that are concerned for you hopefully that will put your friends mind and yours at ease in my case , I looked I knew that with all surgery comes with risks and I looked at the pros and cons I dont regret one moment of the surgery and would do it again
hope that helps

Anna

Your friends and family's reaction is right in line with the current situation - An Irrational Reaction to a Rational Situation.  That is to say, they want to find some answers as to why this has happened to someone so young, and since the WLS is a mystery to them, it must be the cause.  Her death could have been caused by so many underlying issues, and unless the family gets a post-mortem (and share the results), no one will know.

How many times have we heard about the 'health nut' who's out jogging and has a massive coronary.  When it's your time, it's your time.  Personally, I'd rather take the 0.01% chance of surgical-related death than the 100% chance of lifetime obesity.

Tell them that, although you understand their concern and appreciate their worry for you, you still need to do what is best for you.  That this is not something you're going into blindly and that you need to do this to live, not just exist.