Body Dysmorphia?!

My husband has been told me a few times over the years that I often see myself as bigger than I am and recently he told me he's worried that after surgery I'm going to continue in this trend - that I'll lose weight and never be happy with myself. 

Last weekend I went into Penningtons to buy some new clothes (seriously can't wait to be rid of this store forever) and I wanted some basic tee's so I just grabbed 2 from their 2 for 29.99 table in a size 5X... I brought them home, took off the tags, and tossed them into my drawer.  On Saturday I took one out to wear it and my as I put it on I thought well this feels a little loose but didn't think it was horrible...when I went downstairs my husband was like OMG is that your new shirt - it's WAY too big for you.....I was like HUH?!?!?  I went upstairs to the big mirror and it totally was...it came way down nearly to my knees and hung off my shoulders and there was enough room for double my stomach.....

Am I that deluded by my body?  I mean I know I am morbidly obese but can I really perceive my fat body as fatter than I actually am?!  

Has anyone else struggled with this?

 I think because we hide under big baggy clothes it's easier to just grab the largest size then to actually try it on before hand - I'm starting to enjoy trying on clothes at the store and the compliments that I've been getting recently helps to boost confidence - I have to admit that there are some photos where I don't look like i've lost any weight (in my mind that is) - i have a feeling that eventually the brain does catch up with the physical changes 

I still do a double take when I pass a mirror sometimes. Can that actually be a size 10 me? I still buy things that are too big if I don't try it on in the store. In Reitmans a couple of week ago I grabbed size 12 and 14 pants to try on. The clerk insisted I show her the pants. She wouldn't let me leave with the size 12s I was going to buy but made me put on the 10. It fit perfectly. It took a very long time for my head to catch up to my body but I am getting better.

Linda

Body Dismorphic Disorder (BDD) is a very real concern.

I have lost 215 pounds to reach my goal weight, I can see the collar bones sticking out, I know how I have gone from a 5XL to a large...but I still feel like the biggest person in the room!
It's very imortant that you are aware of this as a possability. Fortunately, you have some time to deal with the issue before it becomes a real health threat.

My suggestion is to explain your feelongs to your husband and several trusted friends...people who will tell you when things are going too far. As I said, you have some time before health problems begin to occur. Take this time to deal with it. Research BDD, speak to your doctor about it, seek counselling if you need it.

You are very fortunate to have had the support of your husband and the personal foresight to recognize BDD as a potential problem. Keep aware of your situation. You will be walking out of Pennington's for the last time before you know it.
Take care,
---Kevin

Thanks Kevin!  I remember having this problem for a long time....back in highschool I remember being 168 pounds and looking in the mirror and feeling like I was 800 pounds.....  I really am going to have to work on this.

Oh yeah... I struggle with this too.... At my highest I was the other way... I thought of myself as smaller than I was, but have had many times in my life where I thought i was bigger. It's a part of the way the brain creates self image. It's great that you are having a look at this now. There are lots of ways that you can work on it and adjust your brain to your actual size as you lose.

You will want to take lots of pictures. Clothes on, clothes off, don't have to share if you don't want to. You may want to spend some time in front of a full length mirror every time you weigh. There are lots of cognitive behavioural therapy exercises that you can do to adjust.

Check out this series I found online:

http://www.videojug.com/interview/cognitive-behavioral-therapy-for-bdd-2

Thanks for sharing : )

Do you think mentionning these struggles in your social work appointment for the surgery would prevent you from being approved for surgery?

 Heck no... I doubt it. Illustrating that you know it's something you will have to watch and intentionally work on would probably help you. Self awareness counts for a lot in those sessions, I think.

I too struggles with this.  When I was a teenager up until I was 25 years old I had an athlete body.  I was very active.  I worked out as a boxer and then a kick boxer seven days a week.  Very athletic.  And even as I had a six pack (gasp!) I always thought I was big back then too.  I always covered myself up.  Because I had a really poor body image of myself.

My suggestion, and it is just a suggestion, see somebody professional about it.  I do, and I can tell you that I love myself now, and I haven't had the surgery yet.  So if I love myself now, I will love myself even more.  My husband finds a difference in the way I walk, sexual life....sorry I know to much info.

Take care
Linda