Spouses / Support People

I brought Mike my husband with me to the Orientation session but there was only 2 other people there out of around 12 that had brought people with them. 

Should I bring him to the other appointments or is it more appropriate for me to go alone?  I only brought Mike because he is interested in supporting me in the process as best as possible - we thought given the amount of relationships that suffer as a result of the surgery that it would be best for him to be as active and understanding of the procedure as possible.

bring him if  you feel like he'd be supportive for you. dont be influenced by what other people do. Do what feels right to you. It's awesome that he wants to be supportive, and wants to go with you.

My hubby came to the orientation too, and it was the same, only 3 or 4 people including me had a support person. He was great to have there and he now has a really good idea about the surgery, but he probably won't come to anymore appointments until I get close to the end due to his work commitments and I'm ok with that. I definitely didn't need him for the NP appointment (it's basically just a detailed medical history), though I'm sure the SW would appreciate the show of support by a spouse (but at the same time I'm sure they don't hold it against anyone who doesn't have someone they can bring). So really, it depends on what you want and whether it is practical.

For sure bring him- he too needs to be educated on what is going to happen to you.  For my orientation I was probably one of the only people that didn't bring somebody- I made my DH work instead ha ha I am too cheap!  The only time I brought him was to meet the surgeon, and then of course for the pre-surgery appt.  He was also with my at the hospital, but I made him work on the second day I was in there as well! lol He is a supply teacher- he needs to make his money while he can!  Do what feels right for you, I made sure my DH knew everything that was going to happen to me and he trusted me that I had done my research on the topic! 

Bring him! It's best if he knows what to expect too and he can ask questions about things that concern him.

Im not married but I brought my sister and sister-in-law to my appointments. I was surprised how many people went alone. It's such a huge decision and a huge impact on our lives & on our family's lives that I think we'd want as many people involved as possible.

 I brought My Hubby ato all appointments and when He couldnt come My sister cam e with me, then He took a week off work when I had my susrgery...Just wish He could have stayed home longer :( oh well one of us has to be making money.

 first time I dont spell check, I butchered that one...lmao

If he wants to be there, certainly bring him.  An extra set of ears is always great when in a learning situation.  The process of all these appointments is twofold, first to ensure you are healthy enough for surgery and second to educate you and help you learn to adapt to new behaviours.  Part of opur behaviour is influenced by those around us so if hubby understands what you need o do perhaps he will help rather than hinder your progress.  It is GREAT that he wants to be there with you and I am sure it will help your relationship in the long run.

Hi Pinkjellybean 

I had my husband with me at all my appointments, I don't drive, so he was there anyway.  But the

important thing was; that he wanted to be there with me through it all.  He supported me through all

my decisions.  He was also there to ask questions, in case I forgot. He was also there to hear all the

info that was involved with the operation, recovery and follow ups.

He is still my advocate, he gives me praise constantly; for having the surgery and continues to give

me compliments on how great he thinks I look; as I am continually changing, LOL for the good, I

might add.

The important thing is; if you feel you need someone, then of course ask him to go with you to any of

your appointments; even if he waits in the waiting room, he will still be a comfort to you and be

someone to discuss the appointment with.  Sometimes just repeating the conversation of the

appointment immediately after will help you remember more of the appointment etc.

I kept a diary/calendar filled with each appointment and any issues or ideas I had I put it in the

calendar so that I would be able to answer when I had my lab work done, stress test, sleep test, etc

so that when asked I had it all handy and fresh in my mind.

So if you feel comfortable and it is convenient for him to be with you, go ahead and have him

with you, the staff don't mind that he will be with you.

Take care

Eileen 

Do what feels right for you!  I had my best friend Sandi, going2Bthin, with me from orientation, all the appointment and  signing with the surgeon.  We both knew that we wanted our husbands with us for the pre-op testing day, surgery, and staying for a few days in Toronto to make sure that we were ready to travel 7 hrs home.   We had our surgeries a week apart.  The combination of both was perfect for us; so, do what makes you feel the most comfortable.  The team at TWH wants you to succeed and will support you in whatever you choose to do.

Barb