Support...Confused
I've started my journey, but I'm still so unsure of what I'm doing. My next appts. are on Nov. 16; I meet with the NP and SW. I want to loose weight and gain health, but I'm worried about not being there for my daughter. She's my world. My husband also wants to get the surgery and I think that's great, but he has other medical issues and I know that he will probably need more support. That's what I do. Support him and my daughter in everything...I don't want to put myself in a situation that will not allow me to do that or worse.
I belong to the biggest looser program too. At first I found it worked well...but the cost of all the food is more that we can afford. I am the main income as my husband is not able to work right now. I posted on their boards for some support and have not received one response. It makes me sad because I'm paying to be apart of that group but no one is reaching out with advise! Crazy.
Anyway off track....I guess I'm scared. I don't want to loose my life. I want to live it. Has anyone gone through these feelings? Is this normal? Is it really worth it all...the fear, stress, pain?
Thank you for reading...
I belong to the biggest looser program too. At first I found it worked well...but the cost of all the food is more that we can afford. I am the main income as my husband is not able to work right now. I posted on their boards for some support and have not received one response. It makes me sad because I'm paying to be apart of that group but no one is reaching out with advise! Crazy.
Anyway off track....I guess I'm scared. I don't want to loose my life. I want to live it. Has anyone gone through these feelings? Is this normal? Is it really worth it all...the fear, stress, pain?
Thank you for reading...
Speaking as someone who has not had any major complications I can say YES IT IS WORTH IT. There are others who have had a bumpy ride and more serious complications who also say it is worth it.
If you are worried about losing your life I guess you may want to think about the quality of you life now...is your weight killing you at the moment?
-Yvonne
If you are worried about losing your life I guess you may want to think about the quality of you life now...is your weight killing you at the moment?
-Yvonne
Hi,
I started this journey more than two years ago, I read and read and asked questions, talked to my doctor and people who had the surgery and made my decision from there. This Friday I will have the surgery and be grateful to all of the people who have helped with information and support.
Your decision to do this needs to be based on information, your own needs, health concerns and support system. There are lots of people who start out feeling the same way, myself included and end up so happy that they did. You will read about complications, stress, discomfort and pain but you will also see joy, gratitude, success stories and an appreciation for the opportunity to live life to the fullest.
The more you know the less scary things become. Good luck in your journey.
Tracey
I started this journey more than two years ago, I read and read and asked questions, talked to my doctor and people who had the surgery and made my decision from there. This Friday I will have the surgery and be grateful to all of the people who have helped with information and support.
Your decision to do this needs to be based on information, your own needs, health concerns and support system. There are lots of people who start out feeling the same way, myself included and end up so happy that they did. You will read about complications, stress, discomfort and pain but you will also see joy, gratitude, success stories and an appreciation for the opportunity to live life to the fullest.
The more you know the less scary things become. Good luck in your journey.
Tracey
Oh Sunny. I wish i could give you a big ol hug. All the things you're feeling, they are so very normal.
My kids are my world too, now they're 20 years old. I had the surgery this past march, and i've lost over 100 lbs now. I wish i had done this when they were younger, but for 99% of their lives, i've been obese and had no energy to do a lot of things with them.
Your job is to support your daughter, and to a lesser extent, your husband. Doing the best you can at that job means taking care of yourself. Can you honestly say that you take good care of yourself right now? Do you make sure you get good food to eat, enough rest, time to exercise?
There are risks to this surgery. There are risks to crossing the road every day.
My suggestion would be to go through the process, go to your appointments, find out everything you can about this surgery. Learn everything.
Come to this forum for answers to your questions, and support for your fears and worries. You may decide that this surgery is not for you. BUT, you don't have to make that decision right now. Don't worry about wasting the time of the people like the SW and the NP and the surgeon, you're not doing that, you're spending this time learning about the surgery, and learning about yourself, to find out if its appropriate for you.
You can decide at any time along the way that its just not for you. You have right up until the anaesthetist puts that needle in your arm and tells you to count backwards to 10. You can be washed and gowned and in the operating room, and still say "yeah... i'm not doing this. THanks, everyone". This is a HUGE decision, and should not be made lightly.
ALL that being said. I am so freaking happy i've had this done. I can bend over and tie my shoes. (and could tie the shoes of a small child easily). I can run for 20 minutes. (and can run after a kid in the park if i wanted to, or push a kid on the swing, or play tag, or go skating with them). I am not ashamed of the way I look, so I dont mind going to parties (and wouldnt mind hosting play dates for little ones if i had them, or talking to other mothers, without feeling like i'm a huge slob and dont deserve their attention).
My self esteem has skyrocketed. I'm more confident about speaking up in public and calling attention to myself. I dont need to hide in the background anymore.
You know one of my biggest regrets about being obese for most of my adult life? my kids have hardly any pictures of me. I always made myself scarce when a camera came out. I took the pictures. I didnt want to be remembered like that. Now, i get in front of the camera, and i want people to look at me, and to see me.
You should be scared. You'd be abnormal if you weren't. THis is a huge step, not to be taken lightly.
Hugs.
Mon
My kids are my world too, now they're 20 years old. I had the surgery this past march, and i've lost over 100 lbs now. I wish i had done this when they were younger, but for 99% of their lives, i've been obese and had no energy to do a lot of things with them.
Your job is to support your daughter, and to a lesser extent, your husband. Doing the best you can at that job means taking care of yourself. Can you honestly say that you take good care of yourself right now? Do you make sure you get good food to eat, enough rest, time to exercise?
There are risks to this surgery. There are risks to crossing the road every day.
My suggestion would be to go through the process, go to your appointments, find out everything you can about this surgery. Learn everything.
Come to this forum for answers to your questions, and support for your fears and worries. You may decide that this surgery is not for you. BUT, you don't have to make that decision right now. Don't worry about wasting the time of the people like the SW and the NP and the surgeon, you're not doing that, you're spending this time learning about the surgery, and learning about yourself, to find out if its appropriate for you.
You can decide at any time along the way that its just not for you. You have right up until the anaesthetist puts that needle in your arm and tells you to count backwards to 10. You can be washed and gowned and in the operating room, and still say "yeah... i'm not doing this. THanks, everyone". This is a HUGE decision, and should not be made lightly.
ALL that being said. I am so freaking happy i've had this done. I can bend over and tie my shoes. (and could tie the shoes of a small child easily). I can run for 20 minutes. (and can run after a kid in the park if i wanted to, or push a kid on the swing, or play tag, or go skating with them). I am not ashamed of the way I look, so I dont mind going to parties (and wouldnt mind hosting play dates for little ones if i had them, or talking to other mothers, without feeling like i'm a huge slob and dont deserve their attention).
My self esteem has skyrocketed. I'm more confident about speaking up in public and calling attention to myself. I dont need to hide in the background anymore.
You know one of my biggest regrets about being obese for most of my adult life? my kids have hardly any pictures of me. I always made myself scarce when a camera came out. I took the pictures. I didnt want to be remembered like that. Now, i get in front of the camera, and i want people to look at me, and to see me.
You should be scared. You'd be abnormal if you weren't. THis is a huge step, not to be taken lightly.
Hugs.
Mon
My goal for this surgery is to be physically healthy. I am just 3 weeks out today. It took me about 14 months from referral to surgery. While the wait was stressful I am so glad I did this. During my wait I used the time to make some healthy changes in my life and diet.
Just knowing that the goal was a RNY allowed me to stay focused. Think most of us have tried tons of different diets and payed ++++ for diet programs that don't work.
Being scared is normal. This is a major life change. Everyone I met even those that had complications would do this in a heart beat.
Where do you live. There are many support groups around. I joined up with one that I met on OH and they have been my lifeline.
You are well underway. You can use this time to make positive changes in your diet without spending lots of money. Try cutting out soft drinks first, then junk food, caffeine. Take on step at a time.
I have lost almost 60 lbs and feel great. You can do this. Reaching out here is a great step.
I went through TWH and everyone there has been so supportive. Once you have these next 2 appointments done you will feel more reassured. I have met several couple too that have both had surgery. They get to support each other.
Good luck on your next appointments
Leslie
Just knowing that the goal was a RNY allowed me to stay focused. Think most of us have tried tons of different diets and payed ++++ for diet programs that don't work.
Being scared is normal. This is a major life change. Everyone I met even those that had complications would do this in a heart beat.
Where do you live. There are many support groups around. I joined up with one that I met on OH and they have been my lifeline.
You are well underway. You can use this time to make positive changes in your diet without spending lots of money. Try cutting out soft drinks first, then junk food, caffeine. Take on step at a time.
I have lost almost 60 lbs and feel great. You can do this. Reaching out here is a great step.
I went through TWH and everyone there has been so supportive. Once you have these next 2 appointments done you will feel more reassured. I have met several couple too that have both had surgery. They get to support each other.
Good luck on your next appointments
Leslie
Referral: August 2010 Orientation TWH: May 25, 2011 NP: June 8/11, f/u sleep clinic June 7, abd u/s June 14, SW: June 28/11 Nutrition Class: July 5/11, Dietician Aug 09, Psychologist Aug 25 Surgeon Sept 16th Surgery Date: Oct 11/11 HW:287, Opti wt: 260 SW: 242
My Angel is Sheri TK
Feeling scared is very normal. I also have 2 young children 7 and 2 and not only did I do this for me but for them as well. It was an emotional roller coaster always wondering am I doing the right thing.
I knew I was making the right decision after meeting the surgeon. He explained to me that if I didn't have the surgery what would happen to me over the years and at that point that scared me more than the surgery. I was still very nervous but went through with it.
I can't tell you how happy I am now at almost 3 months out. I have more energy can do more with the kids and I really feel good about myself.
Ask questions, use this site it is a great tool and support system.
You will make the right decision best suited for you!
I knew I was making the right decision after meeting the surgeon. He explained to me that if I didn't have the surgery what would happen to me over the years and at that point that scared me more than the surgery. I was still very nervous but went through with it.
I can't tell you how happy I am now at almost 3 months out. I have more energy can do more with the kids and I really feel good about myself.
Ask questions, use this site it is a great tool and support system.
You will make the right decision best suited for you!
Tanya
I am 10 days away from surgery and I am nervous. Mostly I'm nervous about complications after the surgery and living in pain/discomfort or not being able to eat anything. I am lucky to have a friend at work that is 14 weeks post surgery and she is doing great, so she keeps me motivated.
I don't have kids, but I can imagine how much scarier this may seem when you do. I have an internal fight with myself regularly about doing this, but mostly because I can't believe I have to have major surgery because I am fat. I just CANNOT believe I am in this place. After 25 years of fighting it kind of feels like failure. Sometimes I think: Nope, not doing it. This is crazy. Then I will have to go somewhere and put on clothes that pinch. Or put on my orthotics and limp out to the car. I have to back into the car to sit comfortably. I have to pull myself out of the car with hip pain and my shirt riding up over my belly roll. And I think, just getting in and out of my car to go somewhere is so hard, this isn't normal! And I know it's right for me.
You will know. Keep going to the appointments and reading the OH posts and see how differently people are living their lives post surgery. Only you know if you should do this.
All the best
Julie
I don't have kids, but I can imagine how much scarier this may seem when you do. I have an internal fight with myself regularly about doing this, but mostly because I can't believe I have to have major surgery because I am fat. I just CANNOT believe I am in this place. After 25 years of fighting it kind of feels like failure. Sometimes I think: Nope, not doing it. This is crazy. Then I will have to go somewhere and put on clothes that pinch. Or put on my orthotics and limp out to the car. I have to back into the car to sit comfortably. I have to pull myself out of the car with hip pain and my shirt riding up over my belly roll. And I think, just getting in and out of my car to go somewhere is so hard, this isn't normal! And I know it's right for me.
You will know. Keep going to the appointments and reading the OH posts and see how differently people are living their lives post surgery. Only you know if you should do this.
All the best
Julie
awww, hugs Julie. The first time you get into your car like a "normal" person, i bet you'll laugh like crazy. For me, its being able to bend down and flip open the gas door. The first time i was able to do it without opening the car door and lean way out, i laughed. Now i smile to myself every time i do it. It never gets old. The first time i went to the movies and realized that the arms weren't digging into my legs, i smiled, and kept smiling through the whole stupid movie. I passed through a door way with someone else the other day, and thougth "omg i'm gonna get stuck" and i didnt. I went through a turnstile on the subway without being nervous this past weekend.
I felt like a failure, too. Like i was such a tool that i couldnt even lose weight on my own like a "normal" person. Now, i dont feel like that anymore. Yes, i realize, every day, that i've gone through the "ultimate" procedure to change my weight. And that gives me the strength to stick to the program (for the most part, i'm not saying im perfect). I am NOT going to mess this up.
I felt like a failure, too. Like i was such a tool that i couldnt even lose weight on my own like a "normal" person. Now, i dont feel like that anymore. Yes, i realize, every day, that i've gone through the "ultimate" procedure to change my weight. And that gives me the strength to stick to the program (for the most part, i'm not saying im perfect). I am NOT going to mess this up.
Thanks for the inspiration Mon!
I can't wait to cross my legs!!!!! The day that I can once again cross my legs will be the day I cry for sure. I look at leg crossers with such envy. And not being afraid of chairs in public places. I'm tired of doing spatial relations equations in my head every time I have to sit down somewhere. Sometimes I just don't sit. But then I have to sway from one foot to the other because standing hurts....
I CAN'T WAIT!
I'm going for a walk while I'm motivated.
I can't wait to cross my legs!!!!! The day that I can once again cross my legs will be the day I cry for sure. I look at leg crossers with such envy. And not being afraid of chairs in public places. I'm tired of doing spatial relations equations in my head every time I have to sit down somewhere. Sometimes I just don't sit. But then I have to sway from one foot to the other because standing hurts....
I CAN'T WAIT!
I'm going for a walk while I'm motivated.
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