Totally Flipped Out on the Hubby! Eek!

I thought I wasn't experiencing any stress about the whole Optifast start for me on Wednesday. 

I have been doing good with no over-indulging.  The only thing i had planned was Swiss Chalet for dinner tonight, and then tonight i decided to have dinner out some place with Sandy ....hey girl :)  

We took the kids to see Disney on Ice this afternoon and by the time we got home it was already 730 pm so we had to make a quick decision about ordering Swiss Chalet or not because they stop taking deliveries at 8pm...well my husband couldn't make up his mind about what He wanted, He went back and forth until it was too late to order!  Soooooo.....then we were trying to decide what to have for dinner and He promised that He would cook something for me since He made us miss the Swiss Chalet deadline.....well he couldn't make up his mind!  He stood in the kitchen for like a half hour trying to decide what he could cook for the kids and kept saying "i dont' know what to do" and "i'm not a very good cook".....

I finally got real peeved and said how are you going to handle this for the month of cooking and grocery shopping that You're in charge of after my surgery....except i didnt really say it - i kind of yelled it real angrily and i dont' yell!  I said none of this would have happened if he had just ordered the damn swiss chalet as we had planned......and i felt myself getting real upset about it!

I guess i am having my food break up and it hurts!!  I'm so glad though......gosh.  What a grip it has on me!

just remember, when you're on optifast, its only your hubby  and kids that will be affected, so he'll learn or starve. And chances are they won't starve.  And try to stay out of the food decisions that he's going to be making. its not going to affect you. And the few weeks  you'll be on optifast, they'll likely eat like crap, but its only for a few weeks, no one's going to die of malnutrition. Relax. Breathe. it'll be ok. they'll survive

I bet you are usually the one making decisions and maybe hubby's decision making is a little rusty.  Cut him some slack.  As Monica mentioned, no one will starve.  Probably the kids will steer things a bit too.

It will be a short time in a lifetime of eating!

Judy

It might be worth putting together a meal plan and shopping list for the time period hubby will be in charge (he can do it with you if he/you want). May take some of the stress off both of you for now and at the time.

Small freak outs are forgiveable...I have prepared my partner for the anticipated "bumps in the road' that my transpire as I completely reconstruct my life with WLS...being honest with yourself and recognizing an overreaction is really important... I think it's all part of the journey. Seems like you have a great guy to keep you going, I am sure he has long since forgiven your for the freak-out. Hang in there and remember you're not the only one freakin' out as we approach our surgery... not sure if it's comforting to know that or not! Ha! i guess what I mean is we're here for ya!

Just saying but that your husband agreed to do all the cooking etc is pretty great, I still did all of that during optifast. The only time off I had was when I was in the hospital! Might be a good idea to make up some menus etc so he's not doing takeout every night.

I don't think spouses who act as the partners they are should be given special kudos. Of course their should be the loving sense and expression of appreciation that must always exist (at some discernible level) between partners, but no fawning.

I actually would be dissapointed greatly in my spouse if there was any question on his part as to whether he'd take over the kitchen while I was in the optifast/first weeks out of surgery stage. I'd be so taken aback and disappointed that I'd actually be reevaluating our relationship and wondering if I could count on him for the really hard stuff that growing old can deliver.

I do agree though with those who say that some menu planning might be in order and with whomever else who suggested that, assuming he's not feeding the kids a diet of ice cream, mc Donald's and candy) you not meddle with his choices (though I do admit to doing some serious pouting when my husband made a few pieces of fried chicken one night!).

Good luck, it'll be hard as hell! But worth it.