Old Habits Creeping In (long, sorry)

 So for the first 9 months I was the "model VSGer" as far as not eating empty calories, junk and things like that. I counted carbs, cals and protein (still do) but kept it in check. I surprised everyone, myself the most.

These last 2 months I've started to get a little lax in my eating- a candy bar here, a tablespoon of Nutella there. Last night I came home from my support group meeting and while preparing dinner, scarfed down a whole piece of garlic bread (I've only had a tiny tiny bit of bread in the 11 months since surgery).

I keep thinking, heck it was just one piece of bread, what's the big deal? In the past I'd have eaten a loaf. But then I worry that I'm making excuses.  

I'm still tracking everything and am ok (well under 1000 cals a day, meeting protein, and usually under 50g carbs) but it's WHAT I'm eating that scares me.  

About 3 months ago my losses slowed significantly (which I expect, I'm in the last few pounds) and I think the slower losses combined with being smaller than I have ever been are playing mind tricks on me. I think "I can cut myself some slack now..."

I can see where once I'm at goal and people stop making comments, and the positive reinforcement of seeing the scale move down I may have some issues. 

I THOUGHT I had changed my eating ways but really deep down I think I was powering through to goal so that I could eat that stuff again. 

I've let the exercise slip too (not that I was hard core) but I was doing something. 

I dunno, I'm sort of just vomiting it all out here so forgive me if it's disjointed...

I've done therapy in the past, and have been thinking it might not be a bad idea to go back. Do I go back to my sort-of ok therapist (cause she knows me) or to someone new? The leaders of our surpport group are Masters lever counselors but sometimes I'm not that impressed. Maybe I need to seek out someone entirely new? It's a smallish town so I'm not sure if there are any therapists who specialize in eating disorders.

Did you experience this? 

Thoughts, comments, ass kickings??

 Eating a piece of bread once in a while may not be a problem. Eating a piece of bread with every meal would be. I wouldn't e too concerned right now, but one thing is absolutely for sure - even when we build new habits, we will always have to be vigilant and mindful of what we eat and why. 

I know I'm in for a life long battle for dealing with food issues. From how I see it, I have built a foundation of good habits so when I slip, it's not going to result in a landslide and I can pick myself back up. I will slip - I will make poor choices - but te issue I have to deal with is what happens next 

Sorry about the typos from my phone. 

 Thanks ABC!! 

I guess I'm scared to trust myself...I'm a very ALL or NOTHING kind of person. There can be some inbetween, I guess?

The "all or nothing" mentality is why I've failed every diet in my life. The first slip - the diet was over.

The fact that I've been on my WL journey for almost 2 years now and still going is because I'm working on that mentality. It's honestly always my first gut instinct - my first reaction, but im more aware of it, and more able to talk myself out of it. Not always, but more often than not, and more and more as time goes by.

There has to be some middle ground, but it takes a lot of mental work to get there - i have not been to counseling/therapy but if you think you could beenfit from it, I would highly recommend it.

Oh, yeah, I'm experiencing the same thing.  I've slipped, I've gotten back into eating the junk, and I regained 5 lb.  I'm getting back on track and I have to keep reminding myself that I had this surgery for a reason and that I DON'T NEED THE JUNK. 

A treat once in a while is not bad and you can't beat yourself up over it, just don't let it take you over.  You're a food addict and one year of good eating is not going to cure that, you just have to keep working at it.

Keep thinking about how good you feel inside, not to mention how good you look on the outside. 

 thanks!

 What if you planned the day you are going to 'cut yourself some slack?' 

With a plan, you are still in control and it isn't something mindless you will feel guilty about later. 

So, if  you know Fridays are so tempting for you, have a bit of bread on Friday and then know you will make up for it before and after.

I think it's about not giving up control to food. Even if you are having a junk food snack, it's about making it intentional and not a coping mechanism.

I'm new to this but that's the approach I'm trying to take. 

I am also attending counseling once every two weeks. Lately it's been more about my marriage than my relationship to food but it's all intertwined.

Just remember food isn't *the* only thing you can control. You control all of you. 

One habit I've built that has been HUGE has been logging on myfitnesspal.com. I use the iphone app, they have an android app as well or the regular website.

I log my food ahead of time, structuring my basic plan the night before. During the loss period I was pretty rigid about sticking to it. Now that I'm in maintenance, my deal is that I log anything that goes into my mouth BEFORE I eat it. This lets me see how it affects my calories, carbs and sugars and tends to make decisions for me.

As for exercises, my only recommendation is to find something you like to do and do it rather than "working out". I love to walk and hike. During the week, it's just walks at a brisk but not killer pace. On the weekends it's hikes that have gotten more challenging over time. I also do a 15 minute every other day crunch and push-up challenge and now and then some upper body weights but most of my calorie-burning exercise is not exercise for its own sake but exercise I enjoy doing.

 Thanks Econtiff and MomJazz--

I'm just so scared to let myself have an inch, you know??

and MomJazz, I use MFP- LOVE it. I generally stay in the 'acceptable to me range' but it's WHAT I'm eatign that scares me... I like the idea of logging everything first. I tend to eat, then log.

Thanks for responding!!

While I agree eating ONE piece of bread isn't a problem well I THOUGHT that around the same time and here I sit 40lbs over MY goal and I can't STOP eating a piece here and there and here and there and here.

I am an addict and I NEED to surrender myself to THAT and know CERTAIN foods I cannot eat more then likely for ME never again.  Just like the alcoholic who can't have ONE drink.  It's hard for me to not only SAY it but harder for me to LIVE it.  I so want to be able to eat it occassionally but I know sooner then later I'm going to have to say no.

Ms Shell