its not what i am eating its what eating me

I jus****ched a show food addicts and the counselor was explaining that it is not really the food that is the problem its our inner pain. Why can't I figure out what causes my binges or grazing? I can't figure out what is deep within me to make it happen omg wow I have to really dig deep and then maybe I. Might uncover something I might not want to. I do know that my food addiction started in high school. That's a start right. When I have any feeling I feel hunger. Feelings are healthy its what I do with my feelings that is not healty ok I am getting some where. I have to figure this out if not I am gonna continue to eat.

I heard once that if we want to know why we overeat we need to stop overeating.
That makes sense to me. As long as I am practicing my dysfunctional relationship with food I won't be able to figure out why I eat the way I do. It's when I am not overeating that I am more objective and my thinking is clear enough to look at the reasons why I overeat.

I honestly think my food addiction comes from two factors.  First my whole family are alcoholics.  My mom and dad were drug addicts and alcoholics (they both have passed away now).  I think I have that addictive gene in me.  But instead of drugs or vodka I eat food...which I guess that's better than drugs...can't get arrested for having cookies in my purse..hahaha!!!  When you are raised in that addictive environment I think most are likely to pick up some bad behaviors.  Secondly, I was raised in a very poor family...well they spent all their money on drugs and booze.  Food was a treat, a luxury.  I mean a trip to McDonald's (which happened twice growing up) was a mind blowing treat!!!  When I moved out and got to the point that I could afford all of the treats and food I wanted I guess I went too far.  I still look at food as luxury.  I used to hoard non-perishable items because you never know when I might lose my job and not have money for food. 

I think I realized that the combination of being deprived as a kid and my natural inclination towards addiction I was bound to have food issues.  I now try to look at other things like buying new "skinny" clothes or going to the gym as my new luxuries in life.       

I think you hit the nail on the head you could have been telling my story. I was saying to my husband the other day that when I weighed in at the surgeons office and saw 492# I was shocked I thought I was 100# lighter. There was no way I was going to reach 500# so I became shocked then determined. I already could not hardly walk or stand longer than 4 min. My kids were shocked to know that I never ate out in a restaurant until I met my husband and we went out with his family. There simply was never any money for that luxury. McDonalds had a sale on hamburgers 10 cents each my Dad said if you go ride your bike and get them we can have a treat. I did 1$ worth and we ate them and they went out to the local tavern till closing. The addiction to Alcohol was their problem and although I was determined not to go down the same road I think I substituted food for comfort.
Thanks for sharing....Take care, Debbie   RNY2/24/11

Just my slant on it~If our car breaks down we take it to a mechanic to be repaired. If the plumbing backs up, we call a plumber. When the furnace or AC stops working well, we call that "expert" and PAY them to come and get it going right again.
Why...when we now know that there is genetic predisposition to eating disorders (whether over eating, bulemia, or anorexia) do we try, ON OUR OWN, to 'fix' this??? There are so many EDUCATED folks out there that can and want to help us. I think there is still HUGE social stigma about asking for professional help, but from MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCE, it's a wonderful 'gift' that we give ourselves.