DIVORCE

My husband just told me he wants a divorce.
That we've been drifting apart, and he doesn't love me anymore.
We've been married 8 years, no kids.
I IN NO WAY saw this coming.

  I am so sorry to hear that.  It  has to hurt.  Do you think it is just stress and he will change his mind or do you believe this is the "real deal"? I am sending you a hug over the net. 
Renee

Very sorry for the stress you must be feeling right now. We were warned in my pre-op classes that going through a major life change like WLS sometimes freaks people out (both the patient and their friends and family).
I hope it all works out well for you... Craig

Is he willing to see a counselor and try to work it out? I'm sorry you're going through this!

Oh wow, I remember the tattoo thing and your therapist saying something to you that wasn't right. So, I kinda know you from here. That's horrible, I'm so sorry. Didn't you say you talked to him over the phone about the tatto? Was he home, or did he tell you over a phone call? If so, that's one of the crappiest things to do, especially in a marriage! My ex husbands, ex wife(yeah, I know) did that to him during the Gulf War...On his birthday no less. So, I kinda know how the person on your end feels. If you ever want to talk or just vent, PM me. Again, I know this sucks and I'm sorry...

he is deployed, and won't be home for a year.
he told me over Yahoo instant message.

over instant message?  jerk.

I'm sorry you are going through this.  I hope he realizes he is being rash....being deployed has to be incredibly stressful and not a good time to make major life decisions.

Whatever happens...lean on your friends.  Life goes on and if things don't work out with your husband,  there IS life after...that just might be sweeter.

Take care... (((((((())))))))))

First let me say that I am so sorry that this is happening to you.  No matter how long you have been married, whether or not there are children, and whether or not there seems to be drifting apart the request for a divorce is a shock to the person who is being told that the marriage is over.

We all change.  Neither of you are the same person that you were when you were married.  Every seven years, life changes.  Think about the difference between a new born and a seven year old.  A 14 year old and a 21 year old.  There are also dramatic differences between 28, 35, 42, 49, 56, 63, 70, 77, 84, 91, 98, 105.

One of the good things is that you are young, healthy, and becoming slimmer every day.  You can easily look forward to another 70 or 80 years of life.  A lawyer told me that many people fall in love at 18 and by age 27 would have picked a totally different partner.  That is the age when many of his clients came to him to start divorce proceedings.  He said most were in happy second marriages by about 32 years of age.  

As we mature, we are capable of making wiser choices. For now, get some rest, get some counselling, and take care of you.  I know that this is not easy.  If would be very helpful for you to look up the stages of grief.  Divorce and death have the same effects on us.  Here is a good site to start with http://www.livestrong.com/article/129455-seven-stages-grief-divorce/

thanks