specific surgery pushers have my head in a mess.

I understand that most, if not all, of the people who pop up on thread posts encouraging you in a different direction from the particular surgery you have settled on have innocent intentions.  They're excited about the surgery they had, the results they accomplished, and they want everyone to have a similar experience.  Honestly, though, it's become bothersome to me.  I've done and continue to do my research, and I will ultimately consider the input of my surgeon and weigh it against what I've learned.  When I post a topic about something that has nothing to do with pondering what kind of surgery is right for me, and someone suggests that I consider another, it's just completely offputting, confusing, and begins to feel like I'm at a car dealership.  It just muddles the process.

I guess the problem is, I took their advice and I did more research and now I'm at a total loss as to what is best for me and it has stolen the positive thoughts and peaceful patience I was trying to maintain.  Instead, my head is once again swimming with "what if I'm making the wrong decisions?"  It's such a personal process.  My body is different, my insurance is probably different, my doctor is probably different, and any other number of demographic variables exist that led me to my initial decision.  I've come to the conclusion that it feels the same as having a relatively good day out in the world and I ask someone for driving directions and they respond with completely unsolicated advice about how the diet they're currently on is working great for them.

Please understand, as this is a personal process for all of us, this is also my own personal feelings about it, and probably most other people appreciate the input they were given.  I think I just want to suggest a little more sensitivity and trust that if I'm posting on this forum, it's because I'm actively working on my own process and if I determine that I should look at other options, I will.  At the very least, consider that once is enough.  Sometimes it's helpful and right to offer a suggestion, but you only need to tell me once.

It is confusing when you hear so many opinions.
I always tell others to follow their "Belly Brains"....that gut instinct that feels right for you!

Good luck!

Leslie

Well said Leslie!!! :)

Great reply Leslie.

 If they're making you think twice and research more, then the job was done well.  People often jump on the wls wagon because a friend or relative did it, not bothering to learn all they can about wls in general, including the various procedures to choose from.   You see, wls is not "one size fits all".  We are not all obese for the same reasons.  What makes these procedures useful is that they address obesity differently.  It's important for you to understand the differences and compare them to your own body and weight history.  This is something that a doc won't bother to do in a 15 min consult.  He will sell you on a procedure that he does and nothing else, even though you may be better suited for something else.  

Those who select procedures out of convenience or following the leader set themselves up for possible disappointment and further risk of necessary revisions later.  In other words, take the time to think twice and only have to cut once.  Take the suggestions to heart if only to learn all you can about everything available.

I have learned that life is not always about positive thoughts and peaceful patience. Making this decision is not for the weak. You will be battling back and forth over your decision and I chose the RNY but boy, did I learn alot about the band, the sleeve and the DS. Have you gone to any meetings that discuss all types of WLS? You will find it no different there than here. You will have your people who loved their particular WLS and will also suggest it to up and coming newbies. But most people on here will tell you to make sure to research ALL WLS. You will also find out we are a tough bunch out here, but we have to be because we have been battling with society, people, jobs all that have tested us beyond what is right and fair just because we are obese.
What makes the world go round is our right to an opinion. People cannot keep track of your opinion because they may never had read one of your posts, so they may give you advise that you already had.
We are our own community and how boring it would be if we all thought alike or agreed with everything.
So hang tight, research and know you can come here for anything. AND I MEAN ANYTHING. Lord knows, pooping and Brazilian waxes were a great topic one time!!! Best wishes, Jane

Thanks for the replies, all.  I totally get what you're saying, Valerie.  I think I'm more bothered by the fact that it's happened more than once, and I just got completely annoyed with it.  You're exactly right that this is a tailored process, which is why I'm researching for myself.  I feel like I'm being followed around by the same person pushing me on one surgery, and what I really should do is address it to them privately, but I've noticed it as a pattern site-wide as I read old forum topics... while I was doing my research on all WLS options, I might add.  And, I'll say it again, earnest input is often a good idea, even if it's off topic, but you only need to put it in once and trust the person to accept or reject it.  Also, I'm pretty sure I'm PMS'ing hardcore, so I'll probably read this in three days and facepalm myself to death.

Do whats right for you and if someone tries to derail your choice tell them to go **** themself and block them.  Really.  It works like a charm.  Knowing about all the surgeries is good, but if your insurance won't cover them all and you can't afford to pay then you chose from whats available to you.  Any can work if you work them.  Take it seriously as your final chance to lose weight and be healthy and don't **** it up and all will be good.

I'm just stumbling into this, and know none of the background.  You've written a very well thought out piece, and I hope people will hear the intent of what you are saying.

The best advice I was ever given, and I have shared thousands of times since, is:
   1)  YOU need to research all four of the surgery options and determine what you feel is right for you.
   2)  You then find a surgeon that performs ALL four surgical options, as only someone skilled in all areas can give you sound advice as you discuss you choice and why,
   3)  You work with that surgeon's insurance coordinator  to make those arrangements.  That is their expertise, not yours.


When you hear from people about "mine is better" (and again I haven't read back posts) I would wager a bet that you have brought up an issue that you are hoping WLS will cure, and people are responding with their stories, but all peer-reviewed medical evidence.

You're obviously very stressed.  Spend time researching the surgery.  List the pros & cons of each. Don't forget to include the % of excess weight loss over 5 years, as it diminishes significantly (or in some cases increases) for some surgeries.  Do you want to go through this twice?  Will you insurance pay for it twice (doubtful).  Do you you want to rely in dumping as a punishment?  What if you fall into the majority that don't dump?

OY!!  So many things to consider.  But I strongly encourage you to NOT do it with a WLS who doesn't not perform all 4 procedures.  They are caring loving people -- who are SELLING you what they are capable of.  They will never encourage you to consider a surgery type that they do not perform.

Excellent response Kimberly.