State of mind for revisions and SURGEONS!!!

Ok so I know that surgeons aren't usually the "warm and fuzzy"type and I just need to know if I am being overly sensitive. I went to see my surgeon today for my pre-op and I came with a list of questions to ask him. From my other posts many of you know that this is a medical revision to fix a lot of problems from my old bypass 15 years ago) anyway when I told him I was first and foremost scared to death of the pain since I can not tolerate pain meds such as morphine, dilauded etc. he said I basically was S@#@ out of luck and that I could maybe have an epidural but would wind up with the same intense headache that the other pain meds give me-- which makes a migraine feel like a little nagging headache. And he finally said that if I wasn't ready to have this done then don't do it because it is a very complicated surg and I have to be ready to deal with the pain. I throw up a lot, have lost my teeth b/c of it, on a soft food diet and constantly feeling tired. I don't want to live like this anymore so I have to have the surg done He also said that I won't lose any weight from this b/c I didn't lose much weight the first time so don't count on it now....REALLY!!! Then I asked about the follow up nutrition program that goes with the program for 1st time bypass patients and he said I would not be a part of it but could visit the nutrionist but have to pay separ b/c I am not part of the program....again REALLY...it is 157.80 per visit instead of the 780.00 for the 1st year after care.. I really need this as I couldn't eat right the first time around because I was so sick and took all my protein in liquid form. This is practice is known for its program --before and after care---yet b/c I am a revisionl..I feel like I am not as important and they assume that I should just know this stuff My fiancee went with me and said "who cares about his manner as long as he knows what he is doing." He said he felt much better after seeing him. I don't! I also asked him if I would finally be able to digest meat and he said the bypass never stopped it and when I told him that Fobi Pouch bypass patients showed a higher intolerance for this...he scoffed and said that was not what caused it...REALLY then why was I a meat and potatoes girl before surg and for the last 15 years I have not been able to tolerate meat very well especially beef and pork of any kind? I am scared and mad!!! I need the surg to have any kind of life and unfortunately my insurance will not cover any other practice. PLEASE HELP ME TO FIND THE RIGHT STATE OF MIND BEFORE THIS SURG thanks dear friends for any help you can give me

Do you feel his surgical skills are good? 

If so, and if your insurance will not cover any other practice, then I guess I would find a registered dietician you can work with that charges less than $157 per visit.  There is an RD at the Y in my town that charges something like $60 per visit, which would be much more affordable.

I don't know why he thinks you won't lose weight from the revision.  Why didn't you lose weight with your first procedure?  What kind of revision are you having done?

What do you normally do for pain?

Some surgeon's are very opinionated about revisions.  Same with a lot of insurance companies--they are willing to pay for one wt loss surgery, but refuse to pay for revisions unless there are major complications. I know my wife had an OLD wt loss surgery in 1980 in 2008, when her surgery was 28 year old. She had the old jujueano illeal with a bypass switch, which had a lot of complications.  My surgeon usually refuses to do revisions, but in my wife's case, this old surgery put her at the real risk of complications that could lead to death.  He did her revision for this reason only. And yes, data tends to show that revision surgeries cause slower wt loss on those patients vs if it was the pateints first wt loss surgery.  DAVE

Bottom line up front: do you want to use this surgeon?  Or would you feel better if you got a second opinion?

Revisions are more complicated than initial surgeries so whomsoever performs your surgeon better be technically competent to do so and that should be your primary criteria for selecting that surgeon.  You can have other criteria such as their manners and cost issues but don't let those outweight competency.

I want to thank each and every person *****plied.  This site helped me regain sanity when I felt insanity was running rampant in mind and all around.  I have calmed down and realized my options are few and I have to "Let go, Let God."  Your advice and experiences have helped me reach the conclusion that my quality of life will ultimately be better and the pain, no matter what, will not detract me from the end goal. Again, I can't tell each and everyone of you how you have helped me to think straight, get it together and BELIEVE in my God, surgeon, support systems and ME!  ENJOY YOUR WEEKEND DEAR FRIENDS!