Pre-op / newbie introducing myself

Hi there,

I'm 42, mom of 4-year-old twin boys, 5'3" and 225lbs, BMI 39.9 and I'm considering VSG WLS. So far, I have:

• Had an initial consult with the surgeon
• Spoken to friends who have had RNY WLS and VSG
• Done tons of online research
• Attended 1 in-person WLS support group  through my hospital
• Had an appointment with a psychologist who "approved" me for surgery
• Made an appointment with the nutritionist but that's not till May 9

What's stopping me from committing, so far, is:

• Anxiety - I have a history of diagnosed anxiety disorder and panic disorder, and medical procedures (IVs, pic lines, etc.) are a trigger for me, as are pains and "symptoms" of recovery.
• Fear of complications - Because of the issue above, I'm especially nervous about possible complications, especially blod clots, leaking, internal bleeding, and severe dehydration.
• Fear about the new lifestyle - I haven't ever been able to consistently eat right and exercise before now. What makes me think I can do it post-surgery? I don't understand how others do it, except unless it's because they know they *have* to or they will become ill. But I'm trying to figure out how in the world I'll manage to stick to it, without others in my household supporting me (husband and two small children who will not be following a bariatric diet). 
• Worried about unattractive loose skin (purely vanity, this one).
• Nervous about being thin and "hot" again, and getting the kinds of attention I used to get in my 20s. 
• Thinking that having WLS is like admitting that I have absolutely no will power, can't control myself, am lazy, etc. And yet, I really do feel that those things are true, more or less.

There are other concerns/worries, but they're all more or less related to the first 3 above.

Thanks for "listening."

 

Welcome Dragonfly,

I am pre-op as well but hopefully have the RNY in October.  I am currently on a 6 month medically supervised diet (req by insurance).  I am 42 (2 kiddos, 10 & 11) and quite a bit taller and heavier than you, 5'8", 347 BMI 52.  I have been overweight my entire life and tried every diet, fad, etc to lose weight and have some success but then gain it all back plus more.  I am at the highest weight I have ever been.  Obesity runs on both sides of my family as does high blood pressure & diabetes.  Currently I do not have high blood pressure or diabetes, but when I went to see my bariatric surgeon and her PA, I found out that I do have the beginnings of metabolic disorder which puts me pre diabetic - YUCK!!  Also, I did have PCOS and endometrosis and sever PMDD, but I have a complete hysteroctomy 2 years ago.

The decision for me to persue 100% kinda came in one "light bulb" type moment!  I have thought about have the WLS for 3 years and doing research and talking with my PCP and have been trying to lose on my own with little success (again).  I eat relatively healthy but do indulge in ice cream a couple times a week but I did not eat horrible, no fried foods, no butter, no salt, no candy, chips, etc.  Light on the pastas, rice, etc.  I am also fairly active and my job keeps me on my feet moving about 70% of the day.  So, for me I finally decided that I have to do something that will help me make a permanent change in the way I eat and excercise so I can live a long time and see my children grow up, get married and have children.  For me, RNY will give me the right tool to get the weight off and keep it off long term.  I am 100% motivated to do this and be done with obesity forever!!! and stay at a healty weight forever!!!

My family is 100% supportive but will not eat as I eat.  I will cook for them as normal but I know that they will support me in helping me make the right choices and become successful.  I have already started, by my own choice and not the medical diet, to have a protein shake in the morning for breakfast and one at lunch in place of a "normal" meal beacuse for me, it will be alot easier after surgey to change gears to small portions and the phases of eating post surgery.  Also, it gets me away from bread products, chips, pretzels, the snack stuff, that just is calorie loaded.   I also, stopped drink all sodas & caffeine drinks several years ago and only drink water.  I won't lie, it has been hard and a struggle!!  and I have failed a couple times in the last month and a half but I have lost 13 lbs so far on the diet.  My NUT was really happy with my choice moving to the meal replacement shakes and eating a healthy dinner, eventhough that was not her suggestion.  She said if that is working for me and I am getting in adequate calories & protein, etc, then keep up the work.

I too have anxiety and have been on Zoloft since my post partum depression from the birth of both my children (now 10 & 11) and have tried to come off it several years ago, but the panic attacks came back, so I am staying on the Zoloft!  I am not quite sure what my trigger is for the panic attacks, all I know is the Zoloft works and keeps them away. 

I have also struggles with the notion that I am just lazy and need to try harder to lose weight and keep it off.  But in the sessions with my surgeon and PA, I have learned that my body is thinking that the obese weight is where I am "supossed to be" and it is "healthy" - that is the metabolic disorder talking.  My body needs a complete reset to realize the obese weight is not good and the weight needs to come off.  The RNY will reset my body and metabolic clock so that I can be successful eating healthy proteins and small amounts of them and be 100% satisfied and feel full. 

I cannot relate to the fear of surgery, needles, etc that you have and trigger your panic attacks.  I would 100% suggest looking into seeing a therapist for help with this fear as we all need help in our life.  That may help you relax a little more.  Also, I would suggest that you keep taking to your family about it (or whoever to confide in that supports your decision), keep going to the support group, keep coming to this site and reading posts and posting your feelings, etc. to help your work through your decision. 

You are NOT a failure!!!  Whatever your decision, you will have my prayers and support!!!

-sorry for the super long post!! :)

Before you have the RNY, you really should research the Duodenal Switch. The DS has the very best long-term, maintained weight-loss stats for patients of ANY size, but especially so for those of us with a BMI greater than 50. It also preserves the pylorus and all normal stomach function, which means it's a lot easier to live with. And it has the best stats for resolving or preventing things like diabetes and high cholesterol.