Getting to acceptance

First post - I am 39 BMI and treated for hypertension, thankfully, no other conditions. I am considering WLS, most likely sleeve and am in the process of getting insurance approval. Right after I went to a seminar on WLS I wanted it done "yesterday". As time goes on, I feel like I am grieving. Food has been one of my closest friends for many years. As my weight has crept up every year, I have tried many ways of dealing with it. I feel that I have my "act together" in most areas of my life, but weight loss has eluded me. I am nearly 52 and find it harder to lose the same pounds. The thought of permanently changing my stomach and limiting what I can eat scares me. I know if I can continue to carry excess weight I will have more obesity conditions. I am torn between giving up my important relationship with food and taking care of myself. Can anyone else relate?

I can surely relate.  I am 56 years old and fought through the same issues because I am a diabetes with Hypertension as well.  I had my surgery on June 6 of this year and things are coming along.  I have lost almost (18.5 pounds) since my surgery (RNY).  I do miss my relationship with food but have counter act that with exercising, cleaning my basement, getting rid of old clothes, making room for new clothes and finding other passions that can take the place of always comforting myself with food.  I feel sooooo much better but it does come with a price.  I am still on protein shakes and soft foods for now until I get clearance from the doctor.  This is where the emotional stuff happens.  You have to find other things to replace eating food. 

Do your research and maybe meet with a bariatric counselor before making your decision.  The surgeons office should be able to give you a resource on how to get in touch with a bariatric counselor not a general counselor.  The bariatric counselor will be able to give you a full picture of what to expect before and after surgery.  Also, do your homework on the different types of WLS surgeries.  You may want to have a consultation meeting with a surgeon first because they will be able to tell you how each of the WLS work.  Hope this helps.

I understand.  However, after surgery your feelings will change.  Food will become fuel for your body and not a recreational activity.  At later stages, like where I'm at, I can enjoy a dinner party, etc but I make good choices.  I can enjoy the taste of a wonderful dessert but only a bite will satisfy me.  

When considering the type of WLS, if you have GERD then the sleeve is not for you.  Otherwise it's a good choice.

I'd rather be healthy and full of energy any day over eating crap that will slowly kill me.

I think everyone on these boards can relate to the grieving that goes on with the loss of our first and foremost comfort - FOOD!   If you can do it, it's best to try and cut the bad stuff out now and deal with the mourning period BEFORE you have the surgery.  Because it is a loss -- food for many of us is an old friend but it needs to take it's proper place now.  It's kind of like that lazy-ass roommate that never pays his rent on time...he needs to get kicked out!

After surgery, you may still get excited about eating a certain food (like I did with pizza) and then find that you just can't stomach it.  Frankly, when someone says the word "pizza" now I have an auto-gag reflex - ugh!  And I don't give any serious thoughts to recreational sugar anymore - that's just something that is not an option for me. 

The rewards that you'll reap from this surgery will far outweigh your sadness over giving up your favorite "buddies".  Believe me when I say that you'll find much nicer and healthier friends out there!

Good luck!

I can certainly relate! The fear of never enjoying food again kept me from getting WLS for a long time. Fortunately, I found a form of WLS that didn't ask me to give up eating tasty food. If anything, I enjoy food MORE since my DS, because I no longer count calories or feel guilty because I eat the foods I enjoy most.

Yes, how much I can eat at one time is limited. But I find that with my smaller, sleeved stomach I now actually experience satiety, something I don't think I EVER felt pre-op. I savor each and every bite, and thanks to the DS I can eat all the protein and fat I want. I can even eat a 'mindful' amount of carbs, and still maintain my loss quite easily.

If you haven't already, research the DS. It has the same stomach as the Sleeve, plus an intestinal bypass that causes permanent malabsorption of a significant per centage of the calories you consume.