Dating and WLS - when is appropriate to tell when you're a very private person?

Hi all,

I am 5 years post-op (LAP BAND) and I've been dating around for about 2 years (prior to that I had a boyfriend of a few years who knew everything).  I am an extremely private person so I share my surgery with very few people.  I have lost about 90 pounds and it's the best thing I've ever done for myself. 

I have only had one guy ask (after we were dating a few months) about the gurgling as I drank water and sometimes at night when I would lie down.  I'd just say "I don't know" because I didn't want to get into it.  I always moved his hand away from my port area because I had a bit of scarring there and you can feel the "bump" but I was able to do that.  I had only one incision so the scar isn't an issue really, it just looks like an old cut.

Anyway, I just wondered at what point you tell someone.  I think my latest bf wonders why I eat so little and yet I'm not tiny, I'm still wear 12-14s.  If he ever comes home to meet my parents, he will see pictures of me when I was 90 pounds more and I haven't even told him that I lost that much weight. 

Would love some feedback if anybody else can relate to what I'm saying.  Thank you!

I just tell people whenever it comes up.  One guy asked about my scar, so I told him.  Another guy asked once about why I ate so little so I told him.  I handled it pretty much like I would any other medical issue.  I have a scar on my left breast from where I had a breast biopsy and I told someone about that when he asked about that scar.  If they don't ask and the issue just doesn't come up, then I don't say anything about it.

How serious are you about him?

Not sure, I wouldn't marry him tomorrow but I like him a lot.  I just wonder if it wouldn't make things easier instead of feeling like I'm hiding something, but I find it embarrassing because I always think people will judge (even if they don't show it).  I suppose if it comes up and he asks a specific question I'll say something.

I'm not sure if I"m going to be much help but I am a very open person and have dated a few guys since having surgery. I have told each one that I have had surgery, simply because of the logistics of eating out, going for drinks etc.

I do find it difficult because the normal "date" activities always seem to involved food and drink.

If the person is important to you then you should tell him. If he is going to judge you the wrong way then he's not worth your time

Many people on here have mentioned that most men don't really care and don't really notice what we eat, drink etc.