06/26 REFLECTION FOR THE DAY
How many of us would presume to announce, "Well, I'm sober and I'm happy.  What more can I want, or do? I'm fine just the way I am."  Experience has taught us that the price of such smug complacency -- or, more politely, self-satisfaction -- is an inevitable backslide, punctuated sooner or later by a very rude awakening.  We have to grow, or else we deteriorate.  For us, the status quo can only be for today, never for tomorrow.  Change we must; we can't stand still.  AM I SOMETIMES TEMPTED TO REST ON MY LAURELS?"

TODAY I PRAY
May I look around me and see that all living things are either growing or deteriorating; nothing that is alive is static, life flows on.  May I be carried along on that life-flow, unafraid of change, disengaging myself from the snags along the way which hold me back and interrupt my progress.

TODAY I WILL REMEMBER
Life is changing.

OK, update on the ongoing "marriage/alcoholism" saga.  I have had days where the fear of being alone, working again, well, basically a brand new way of life, have almost knocked me to my knees but I have to say that the days where my heart and soul tell me that it's going to be OK are more and more frequent.  That's a great thing!  My therapist is one of the greatest things that have happened to me as it is the only place in the world (or so it seems) that I can be myself.  At home (3 kids, husband...) I almost feel as if I'm an actor.  All eyes are on me and how I react to things.  That being said, the family has never dealt with the alcoholism as they see it as my issue.  It is extremely exhausting to be the emotional "barometer" of a household and frankly, I want my OSCAR and I want it now!!!  LOL.  My 19 year old son, Zach is the only one that is in therapy and words cannot express how proud of him that I am.  He and I went together yesterday (1st time) and it was wonderful...lots of tears but also lots of understanding and that was priceless.  He wants his little sister (15) to go and they are so close that I know she will go so that is 3 out of 5...the odds are getting better.

Long story short...things are getting better.  It helps that for once, my husband and I are agreeing that the kids (especially the 15 year old) COME FIRST and that we will handle this with grace and dignity.  Even at 51, life seems to be getting better (OK, the wrinkles and after effects of losing 130+ lbs. SUCK) but the head and heart are doing well.

Susan

You are already ahead of the game in that you are aware of what is going on.  I have learned through many years of therapy that finding the right therapist for me is like finding that perfect pair of jeans.  You sometimes have to try on a hundred pairs before you find the pair that makes your ass look fabulous!  lol Keep looking so that you are prepared.

As for emotional eating...be careful to not substitute alcohol as many have done.  I didn't do that because alcohol was a part of my life since I was 15 (I'm now 51) and along with a HUGE genetic predisposition for alcoholism so 17 months ago I went into Detox and once again, have been sober.  I have been sober for many years, many times but never educated nor admitted to myself how much of a problem this was.  This time around I've realized that I am playing Russian Roulette with drinking and that it is time to really stop.

I am a firm believer that "self-awareness" is a huge part of any problem that anyone can have.  Denial is a strong, powerful destroyer and I honestly think that with the right support, you'll do great.

Ask your former therapist for a referral in your area.  Chances are that if she thinks highly of someone, so will you.

All the best of luck to you...

Hugs,
Susan

Good Morning OH'ers.. It's FRIDAY..

Today I am grateful..

For things that just happen..

For people that make you smile..

That I am here...

That I will see Homey today..

For the scent of a woman..

SONG OF THE WEEK..

WATCHING THE WHEELS GO ROUND AND ROUND BY JOHN LENNON

People say I'm crazy doing what I'm doing
Well they give me all kinds of warnings to save me from ruin
When I say that I'm o.k. well they look at me kind of strange
Surely you're not happy now you no longer play the game

People say I'm lazy dreaming my life away
Well they give me all kinds of advice designed to enlighten me
When I tell them that I'm doing fine watching shadows on the wall
Don't you miss the big time boy you're no longer on the ball

I'm just sitting here watching the wheels go round and round
I really love to watch them roll
No longer riding on the merry-go-round
I just had to let it go

Ah, people asking questions lost in confusion
Well I tell them there's no problem, only solutions
Well they shake their heads and they look at me as if I've lost my mind
I tell them there's no hurry
I'm just sitting here doing time

I'm just sitting here watching the wheels go round and round
I really love to watch them roll
No longer riding on the merry-go-round
I just had to let it go
I just had to let it go
I just had to let it go

MOVIE QUOTE OF THE WEEK..

But if you wanna leave, you can. I'll remember you though, just like I remember everyone that leaves."
from the movie, "Lilo & Stitch"

I'm scared when I should be excited. My surgery date is August 3rd. I have been working towards getting bypass surgery for 9 years now and it is finally going to happen. But I'm an emotional eater and that part of me that reaches for food when I'm upset is really worried about what I'll do post surgery to sooth my anxiety and depression. During an earlier phase of preparing for surgery, I had a great counselor *****ally helped me put the emotional eating in perspective. However, I have had to move and she has left her practice. I have not been able to find a counselor/psycologist where I am now that I can connect with. How do other former emotional eaters out there deal with this fear and their issues post surgery?