Your reply has me thinking as well Marie. I couldn't agree more that WLS does NOT at all prepare us for what we'll face post-op. All the shrinks and pre-op classes and more just don't serve the best purposes. Its all a learning deal for us. Thanks for being supportive to Clara which has in turn helped me. :)

Hi folks,

I'm noticing my weight hasn't really moved in months. I'm still about 12 pounds from my surgeons' goal. I've realized I stopped TRYING too aroudn the same time. No exercise, some bad eating habits, and pushing the envelope of good sense, for sure. I know I'm comfy right now, and am really petrified that I'll start gaining. I'm still down around 80 or so pounds but worry that won't last. It can't....if I don't get a handle on this I'm in trouble down the road and I know it! 

I DO bring good stuff to work with me, protein drinks and soy chips, and I make tood choices for hte most part. My therapist says it's a lapse, but not a relapse. I'm not so sure I agree with that. Either way, I'm trying to watch things. Since I'm not exercising, it's no wonder my weight isn't moving, but I cannot find the motivation to get off my butt. I'll try and walk again tonight and set some priorities for myself. Putting myself first isn' t easy....

Marie

Thanks, sweetie. Yes, otherwise smart, interesting guys that can't see beyond the outside shell of a woman...how true. It does help narrow down the pool, though :) I know, we all have preferences, there has to be physical attraction, yada yada, but sometimes you just want to be seen for who you really are and it's hard not to have that be important at some level.

Thanks for your thoughtfulness. It's time to move beyond talk therapy to cognitive behavioral therapy. I've had therapists since college, and it's nice to have a listening ear, but it focuses more on "who's done me wrong" than what I'm going to change and breaking the thought patterns. Of course, I've done much of this on my own, but some guidance will be hugely helpful. The only reason I haven't done much of it before is because I haven't found practitioners that take insurance, but hopefully I can work it in, because you're right, the memories of some of this stuff is too much to just let go of easily.

Good am Clara,

I read this last pm but took the pm to really think it over. Have you considered seeking counseling to talk through what you are experiecing and feeling? On some level I think we all care what others think because everyone wants acceptance and approval. Years of comments like "beached whale" and situations where others are constantly doted on can leave us feeling worthless and we can 2nd guess ourselves & our decisions. Emotional and mental abuse are hard habits to break away from because it is what we've come to know. I see many similarities in yourself and myself. Many think I'm incredibly strong in person and in conversation but what lies beneath is a maze of complications.

What's worked for me is surrounding myself with nurturing, supportive people & I stay clear of the ones who obviously do NOT have my best interests in their hearts. I've had MAJOR ups & downs before & after having WLS (weight loss surgery) and honestly its all about lessons taught & learned. I would highly suggest finding a local support group, seeking counseling & reaching out to folks you trust and YES to the confronting negative feelings when they arise. That's a hard thing for me as well. I wish you the best!