Ignorant Comments

It is so hard to get rid of the "fat girl" body image.  I guess deep down I still think of myself that way even though I have made quite a bit of progress so far, and what happened last night brought that front and center 

One of the things I feared the most when I was severely overweight was hurtful and ignorant comments or stares from strangers.  It's that feeling when you walk past a group of people who are laughing and you automatically think they are laughing at how big you are.  Such a terrible feeling.  Well, last night I was out with my family trying the new "Yogurty's" in Burlington.  They were supposed to  have all kinds of sugar free flavours but none that night- boo.  Anyhow, we were standing by our car chatting with friends when another car of young men drove by and the driver, with his head out the window, yelled "Toooooooooo much Yogurty's for you!" 

I cannot tell you how my heart sank when I heard this.  My first thought was "I have lost 116 frickin pounds and I STILL get comments like this???!"  I was sick to my stomach.  I had assumed that with my weight loss, I no longer stuck out like a sore thumb as the largest person in the crowd.  Then I noticed the very large gentleman at the car beside mine standing with his family.  I am choosing to believe that the comment was meant for him, but truly, it didn't make me feel that much better.  I just felt really bad for him. 

Why are people so ignorant and why is weight such a predjudice in today society??  The only reason someone should be concerned with another person's weight is because the terrible effect it has on their health, not because of the way they look.  So many things are widely accepted by today's society, yet being overweight is like a giant red target on your forehead.  It makes me so sad.

 This makes me sad too. Sad that the focus is on looks rather than respecting each person for who they are. Yes I am obese but I am still a person with feelings, loved ones and doing the best I can in my life just like most others in our society. 

Very few at my work know that I had WLS. My direct supervisor and her manager as well as two close friends. Yesterday I came across the manager and was chatting a bit. I was especially pleased that she asked how I felt .... most people say how great I look but she focused on if I felt healthier. (and yes I feel so great physically as the weight comes off). Hats off to an awesome people manager!  So there are great people out there. Lets hope our society learns from them. 

Chris

I'm really sorry you had that experience.  It seems to me that the only prejudice that is still allowed in our society is the prejudice against "fat" people.  People are shocked and horrified when they hear racial or homophobic slurs (as they should be) but blatant bigotry against overweight people is tolerated.  It's really a sad situation.  It's really hard to rise above it and I know for me that I not only carry the burden of this weight, but the burden of the shame of it.  The only thing to do I guess is to surround ourselves with people who love and support us and try to ignore the ignorant.  Easier said than done. 
You should be proud and hold your head up high.  You are changing your life through weight loss and no one should try to make you feel bad about yourself.  Thank you for sharing this story because every time someone shares a part of themselves on these pages, it touches the life of someone else.
Be proud of you.

I completely feel you on this.. just recently while boarding the bus to go downtown I was putting my money into the thingy and this like 40 year old guy yells on the bus "she better be paying for 2" and I swear I was in shock. I'm used to the stares, snickers and rude comments but something about that just kinda got me (like you said) right in the pit of my  stomach.  But after all the bad experiences I decide that those people aren't worth me getting upset about because I have an amazing support group of friends that love me regardless if I weighed 8 pounds or 8000 pounds., PLUS I am firmer believe in Karma.. One day they will be fat, bold and lonely :)

That's awful. The guy who yelled that.... it would serve him right someday to go through something like this.

What bugs me is when I go on these celebrity websites (ie/ TMZ, UsWeekly) and if a celebrity looks even slightly less than perfect (ie/ the Jennifer Love Hewitt uproar), the rude comments start, some VERY rude comments. And I think, if people are picking on someone of a normal weight, what would they say about me?

The comment was probably directed to the overweight man you mentioned, but it's terrible nonetheless. Imagine how the guy's kids would feel. I choose to think that people who are so full of negativity as to try and hurt a stranger's feelings, must be very unhappy with themselves. A normal, happy person doesn't go out of their way to tear someone else down.

 What an ASS!  Nuff said.

It's unfortunate that weight issues are so visible from the outside, and yet ignorance and stupidity are hidden inside - don't see those until someone opens their mouth.  I always say that eventually those people will grow up . . . if we're all lucky.  You've done so well and should be so proud.

I'm so sorry that a fun outing with your family was ruined by some ignorant jerk, Marny. It doesn't matter who the remark was directed at - it's so hurtful & demeaning. Like others have stated, why is it still considered funny to make "fat" jokes & why do people condone it or worse, laugh at these awful comments? You can bet that the guy who yelled out the window of his car is far from "perfect"!

I wonder if we will always feel "fat", no matter how much weight we lose? I think that it will be hard to not think that way after being overweight for so many years. All we can do is to remind ourselves of how much healthier we are now & remind ourselves that we look terrific.  We should be proud that we have dealt with our obesity - too bad that idiot in the car hasn't dealt with his own problems of ignorance and immaturity!!! 

Deb

They are immature, mean kids that haven't been taught proper manners by their parents.  I would have given them the finger! 

Oh I did!  I also considered running after their car (with my new svelt body), and hurling obsenities, but thought I'd loose my credibility...plus my kids were watching.  hahaha