In a FUNK

Ask those close to me and they will tell you "funk" is an understatement.

Heck a bear with a thrombosed haemorrhoid is an understatement at some moments.

I am not sure if its the comments made by two individuals or if I am giving credence to the words of individuals *****ally should not merit such power.  I wrote recently about how my surgeon did not recognize me and suggested I needed to start to diet to maintain rather than lose anymore, and how when I recounted this story to a "burly" friend, I was told to be realistic as I obviously had at least another 20 pounds to lose.  After posting this here I received a great deal of, what I view, sound advice.

I was feeling better about myself before, in my view maliciously, had the rug pulled out from under me once again.  This time by "one of us".  I recounted the doctor story, the response. . ."well, I have seen your pictures, and you look good, but not anorexic or anything.  You should keep losing as long as you can.". . .Really?  Is that my goal?  Do I want to look unhealthily thin??

I know, the answer is no.  I am happy with my success and really am not looking for more KUDOS and yeah YOU!  I am just trying to understand why I let these negative comments have such impact.  Certainly the "yeah you" compliments are more plentiful than the "give your head a shake tubby" but the few and far between seem to carry more weight (sorry bad pun).

To my friends and family bare with me while I get my haemorrhoids drained courtesy of a swift kick to the behind.

Hi

No I am not going to give you a swift kick in the behind LOL 

I am going to say that you are doing a fantastic job in analyzing the two comments LOL 

Just remember your goal and sometimes people say things because they are jealous of what you

have accomplished and maybe feeling a little low themselves but they don't want to admit it

Take a deep breath and step back and realize that you are the one that has her head on straight and

is doing a great job, your body will tell you when you have lost the right amount and you will probably

bounce with a 5-10 pounds up and down, but that is okay

We have to weed out any of the negative comments and let them go, of course we all want to only

hear good from everyone, but not everyone will do that

When you want to vent, it is okay as well, keep posting, we will be happy to listen

You are going to give yourself a headache with the shaking your head after hearing the stupid

remarks and you don't want a headache to go with your haemorrhoid issue LOL

Take care and sending warm hugs your way,    that is just my 2 cents worth LOL

Eileen

Thanks Eileen, I laughed out loud when I read your headache advice!

I think the best thing to do is BREATH, I understand exactly what you are saying, it's hard to move past these stupid of the cuff comments.
I find that, like Eileen said some people just don't know how to handle the fact that you are doing so well, and are not sure what to say. 

I hope that you see past the stupid comments and SEE how great you are doing, cause we all do !!!!!         

Hi, I can so relate to your post. Sometimes I feel like yelling "when is enough, enough?" I've lost 160lbs and still people make comments about when am I going to lose all my weight? I thought you had weight loss surgery? When are you going to do something about the hanging skin? So many negative comments can sometimes let us lose site of just how much we have accomplished. People can be so unthinking when it comes to comments about weight. They forget just how personal an issue it is. I'm in the funk with you my friend. Just need to shake myself off and move forward. Tomorrow is another day!
Linda G.

You've had people say that to you?!!!!  Geez!  What is wrong with people? 

Well, I kinda know what it is, but it still makes me angry.  People with low self esteem will often use the Pulley-system.  They will try to put another person down to try and bring their feelings of self-worth up.  It doesnt' work long term and they get into the habit of treating people this way and being negative. 

Some of us with low self esteem are a little more evolved and are happy to see those around us reach their goals. This is not the easy way out and I am pround of everyone here.

Julie

I hd two thoughts..one is that your first friend may think the goal is 'normal' and what that oks like for people who have lost 100 pounds isnt the same as the girls on the Gap commericals
Chalk the first comment up to them being naive and swayed by tv
The second thought is the commenter on continuing to lose from someone who has had surgery... while i dont think the goal is to continue to lose, the advice maybe coming from a place of knowing we all rebound from our lowest weight by at least 10 lbs. if right now is your ideal, the advice may b coming from someone who has experience regain.

I dont see the second one as a negative comment, but then again I wasnt part of he cnversation, so tone and body language play a part in all of this

My thought about the 2nd comment was not the same as your take on it. I feel that the clinics give us higher weight goals, maybe we are capable of attaining lower 'normal' weights but they don't want us to become frustrated if that doesn't happen. For example by the average height/weight/gender charts I have seen my 'ideal' weight would be 125lbs but my clinic has said that 160-170lbs should be my goal. I thought that the person was basically saying that if you can or want to keep losing then you should, obviously not to anorexic levels but if you want to try and achieve a lower goal than what your clinic has set then you should.

I completely understand. It's all very challenging. Some people have pre-op weight in the 200's, some in the 300's, some higher. It's all so relative. You're a very smart woman, you know it's about health and quality of life. We just get thrown when we have people whispering or spewing their ideals to us. If you need a reminder you've got it! You have done AMAZING and you look FANTASTIC. If you are in a good place then take their comments, throw them over your shoulder and forget about them, they are not relevant

Leona , so your going to take the advise of a person that might be jealous that your looking great then your surgeon that did your surgery .and has your best interst at heart.  look at yourself in t he mirror ? are you happy with yourself ? then **** the idiots who dont have your best interest at heart . I havent seen you in ages .but when I did see you last you were looking great ,
hope you feel better soon 

Anna