WLS: How do I tell my Mom? (warning long post)

You and your mom sound like you have an incredible bond. I won't tell you what to do but let me share my experience.  I struggled with who to tell, I felt it was my journey and didn't want to be judged for one of the most exciting journeys of my life.  So a very small number of individuals and only when I had my orientation date (so I knew it was the right for me)  What I found later was I had cut off a huge friend base that could of been a support to me and the ones I told.  I had actually isolated my closest friends from others because they were sworn not to share.  I had some complications and the ones that knew had no supports.  As a mom I love the fact my daughter shares things with me and when she doesn't I understand but wish she had deep down.  I find that there are so many commercials about lap band surgery that people are starting to talk about the benfits of any WLS.  Perhaps you could approach from the health benfits for you long term.  Good luck with whatever choice you make.  It's a good time to be thinking of the pro/cons.  Great Insight on your part. 

Thank you for pointing out the notion to me that by keeping it a secret, I'm closing off a support base. That is a very good point...and one I hadn't thought of until you mentioned it. It also makes me realize that Sean may need a support base too --if Godforbid I have any complications... at least by telling my Mom, he would have someone to talk to...and worry with, if need be....*Not that I am expecting any complications or whatever*.

Hi Toni...Are we twins separated at birth?? I think we have the same mother LOL!! It was like reading my own story. I have chosen to keep my news to myself & keep it between my husband & I. WLS is my gift to myself & my family for it will kick my ass & help get me healthy, ensuring I am around to nag all of them for many years to come; much like my mother nags us LOL. We are the only ones responsible for our destiny. My situation is that my side of the family is very judgmental. All are very athletic. Some being professional athletes & trainers. None of them has ever walked a day in my or any obese persons shoes. They just fling insults instead of offering help. This is why I forge ahead without their blessing. In the end I really don't need it. We are grown women and need Validation from no-one. My new life begins on December 19. I will embrace it & succeed. Screw everyone else :-) I don't ever remember anyone consulting me for life decisions. 

Effie, I just want to say that I admire your decision to move forward, do this thing for YOU on the 19th, and keep it from your family... When you know off-the-top that they are just going to be judgemental about it anyway. You are right, we are grown women making a personal choice to improve our lives...and THAT choice doesn't require anyone's permisson/blessing.

Here's to us! Cheers! I'll drink (Opti-fast) to that! Lol

Hi Toni, I Chose NOT to tell a lot of people in my life about my surgery. At the time, I was having it done in the U.S. To keep a long story short, I ended up in hospital in the U.S. for 6 months due to complications. When I finally got back to Canada it was for another 6 months in hospital. I am not trying to scare you but you never know what can happen. If you are close to your Mom, tell her now.
Linda

Hi Toni

I just wanted to say, I was in the same boat almost 2yrs ago.

I struggled with wanting to tell my mom, in fear that she would be judgmental and try to talk me out of it. I was right, she did. But it didn't work. She even told my sister, "I think I got her talked out of it!" and my sister laughed at her and said to her "you know who you are talking about, right? Leanne? LOL I don't think so mom!"

I saw my mom last december for christmas and she told me that I looked good. I didn't see her again for a few months and when I went to visit her, she was stunned! At that point, I had lost over 100lbs. The look on her face was priceless. I even have a picture.

She asks all the time how I'm doing and tries to be supportive now.

Good luck with whatever you decide... hopefully you will tell her it would be best

I am in the tell her before group.  If you respect her by telling her hopefully she will respect your decision. My only advice would be to make it clear that you are not asking for her permission or approval.  You are having surgery for you and you would like her support. 

 I would tell your mom. That's your mom. If something was to happen to you because all surgeries has their risks and she didn't know I think she would be more devasted. Maybe she will be completely supportive and want to help you and be there for you during your journey. She is your mom and she will love you regardless. 

You know something, in my heart of hearts I think I have 
always known that I'm going to have to tell her. I love her too
much to keep this major life-changing detail of my life a secret. 
Besides, it's agony not being 100% honest with her
about what's on my mind. 

 I was lucky. My mom has been there for me since I started all this and actually has lost weight herself. She has been taking care of me the last 2 weeks. Even though we have fought a few times since my surgery that's just how we are and 10 mins later one of us apologizes.