Ok, Next Saturday I'm telling my Mom about the WLS.

I just wanted to sincerely say Thank you, to each and every one of you who took the time to read and reply to my earlier post about telling my Mom about WLS.

www.obesityhelp.com/forums/on/4470794/WLS-How-do-I-tell-my-M om-warning-long-post/

I have decided that I will tell her next Saturday. She lives 2hrs away from me, so I made plans with her that I'm coming over for a vist next Saturday. My Dad is out-of-town working, so it will be just her and me.

Your replies have given me so much to think about, and lots of positive ideas on just exactly how to tell her. You've also boosted my confidence and sincerely touched my heart with your very insightful and positive feedback. Damn I love this OH site.

Regardless of her reaction, regardless of how long it takes her to come around and support me, at least I will be at peace with myself for being straight-up honest with her before hand. Sometimes, when you spend so much time worrying about and issue, you inadvertently make it a bigger deal than it really needs to be...I'm hoping that is what I have done here. 

No matter what, eventually my Mom will support me...she always has. It might take her a couple weeks and some time researching it herself to come around --- or maybe she holds out a little longer...like a year post-op, when she can't deny how positive the outcome is. One way or another, I will get through this little bump on my journey...it's barely a bump...let's call it a molehill. Lol

Again, thank you so much... your replies have really really really meant a lot to me.

I'll keep you posted next weekend (sunday) on how the "talk" goes...

Toni

 That is great news Toni!  I'm a Mom of three and even if I don't agree with their decisions they are still my babies and will be there for them.
Your Mom sounds like a great lady and you have such a great relationship I'm sure it will be fine.
Best wishes to you.

Char

I'm glad you were able to make a descision one way or the other.  It is always easier than flip flopping back and forth.

My mom was a little taken aback when I first told her.  She thought it was quite drastic and I think she was worried our relationship would change.  In fact after my long (30 minute) speech about why I was deciding to do this, her first words were, "so I guess we aren't going to the Manderin anymore!"  So much that we used to do together revolved around food.

However, once she got used to the idea and had a chance to think and ask questions she has been incredibly supportive.  I am about 6 weeks post op now and she is my biggest cheerleader.  I knew she would be eventually, she always is, but it still hard to tell something like this when you know the reaction may not be entirely supportive.

Good luck!  And if her reaction isn't what you want, be patient.  I am sure she will come around.

Tracy

good for you Toni.  I am sure that if she only knew how distressed you were about this, it would sadden her.  I tip my hat to you!!
TT

Good luck I 'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers!

Hi Toni

I'm sorry that I missed your post earlier but I totally agree with telling your mom about your surgery. Speaking as a mom myself, I can say that even if I didn't agree with my daughter having WLS, I would still want to know about it and I would want to be there for her because I know that it means a lot to her and I know that she needs to know that I'm there for her, no matter what! I have no doubt that your mom will feel the same way. She might even surprise you and agree with you having the surgery - just make sure that you give her lots of links to explore so that she can really read up and see just what exactly this is all about and why it has become the right choice for so many people.

Toni, remember that, above all else, your mom loves you completely and she is very likely going to be scared of the thought of you having surgery - it could be any type of surgery - it's always scary. No matter how old you are, you will always be her "little girl". My daughter was very scared when I announced my plans but she now is my strongest advocate because she understands why this is my best choice to lose the weight. 

Tell your mom that you love her and respect her and you hope that she will be able to understand why you're doing this, and that having her support is so important to you.  Then give her time to do some research and wrap her head around the idea and come to terms with it.  I have a feeling that she will come around and support you completely in this.

Good luck - we'll be waiting to hear how it goes. I'm sending positive thoughts out to you both!

Deb

Good choice in telling her now rather than later.  And remember, if she does react negatively, it's more likely out of fear and lack of knowledge than anger.  Tell her all you know, show her this site if you have to.  She'll come around eventually.

That's awesome Toni!!!  I think you won't regret it!  Can't wait to hear how it goes!

 Good for you, it's definately the right decision.

Good luck!

IMO many times older individuals find it difficult to understand teh surgery and still think that obese individuals can lose weight just by exercising more and watching what they eat...which we know isn;t the case.

good luck....you have a wonderfully positive attitude and I am sure you are correct in yoru thoughts of your mom being supportive.