Fears - Kinda Long.
Hello All,
I've been blessed (or cursed) with a bunch of time lately to think about some of the fears that I have been dealing with associated with WLS.
The primary and likely most common fear is that of getting the surgery itself. This will be my first surgery ever and I have very little experience with people that have had surgery. I am concerned mostly about pain and actually surviving the surgery. While I am relatively young and the surgeon was not overly concerned about the surgery. It is still something that makes me a bit anxious. Also, I have a growing family that will need to rely upon me for at least the next 20 years.
The secondary and least rational fear is a fear of actually being successful at long term weight loss. I have been self concious about my weight since the third grade and have been overweight or obese since that time. Additionally, like the rest of you, I have failed at sooooooo many attempts to lose weight that the thought of actually being successful is something that causes anxiety simply because I have failed so many times.
Any comments or advice would be greatly appreciated!
Sorry for the long post - i just needed to air out a little dirty laundry.
Dave.....
I've been blessed (or cursed) with a bunch of time lately to think about some of the fears that I have been dealing with associated with WLS.
The primary and likely most common fear is that of getting the surgery itself. This will be my first surgery ever and I have very little experience with people that have had surgery. I am concerned mostly about pain and actually surviving the surgery. While I am relatively young and the surgeon was not overly concerned about the surgery. It is still something that makes me a bit anxious. Also, I have a growing family that will need to rely upon me for at least the next 20 years.
The secondary and least rational fear is a fear of actually being successful at long term weight loss. I have been self concious about my weight since the third grade and have been overweight or obese since that time. Additionally, like the rest of you, I have failed at sooooooo many attempts to lose weight that the thought of actually being successful is something that causes anxiety simply because I have failed so many times.
Any comments or advice would be greatly appreciated!
Sorry for the long post - i just needed to air out a little dirty laundry.
Dave.....
Orientation: 19 July 2011 Nurse/SW: 17 Oct 2011 Nutrition Class: 22 Nov 2011
Dietician/Psychiatrist: 24 Nov 2011 Surgeon: 9 Jan 2012 PAATS: 1 Mar 2012
Surgery: 23 March 2012
Dave...
Dietician/Psychiatrist: 24 Nov 2011 Surgeon: 9 Jan 2012 PAATS: 1 Mar 2012
Surgery: 23 March 2012
Dave...
Of course you're scared of the surgery, of any surgery, who wouldn't be. But as you can see from participating in this board, it's normal, but mostly unfounded. Any pain you have is short-lived and controlled with meds.
If you require something as drastic as this surgery, then you have more to worry about by not doing something about your health. If you are so unhealthy as to require surgery, then there's a far great possibility that you'll not make it through the next 20 years to care for your family. Dealing with your health and making this huge change is going to put you in a much better position to be around for the next 20 years and beyond. Your family will need you until you're old and gray.
Always remember, the odds are way more in your favour than not. Keep reading and researching and become as knowledgeable as you can - that will help calm your fears somewhat. And once you're waking up in recovery, you'll wonder why you worried so much. Good luck. Your family is lucky that you care so much.
If you require something as drastic as this surgery, then you have more to worry about by not doing something about your health. If you are so unhealthy as to require surgery, then there's a far great possibility that you'll not make it through the next 20 years to care for your family. Dealing with your health and making this huge change is going to put you in a much better position to be around for the next 20 years and beyond. Your family will need you until you're old and gray.
Always remember, the odds are way more in your favour than not. Keep reading and researching and become as knowledgeable as you can - that will help calm your fears somewhat. And once you're waking up in recovery, you'll wonder why you worried so much. Good luck. Your family is lucky that you care so much.
Had RNY surgery July 22/11, St. Joe's Hamilton, with the awesome Dr. Scott Gmora. Had abdominoplasty August 2/13, Scarborough, with equally awesome Dr. Michael Kreidstein.
The surgery is nothing. Seriously. You get pain killers for the little pain you'll have after surgery...but it really isn't all that painful or hard to recover from.
You know the risks - they are low. Lower if you prepare by losing weight before surgery and walking etc. to get yourself as healthy as possible beforehand.
As for being afraid of being successful - that's GOOD fear! BE AFRAID!! And let that fear MOTIVATE you to follow the rules. Everytime you're tempted to cheat on the "plan", pull up that fear and WALK AWAY FROM THE FRIDGE.
The difference between the chance of success with WLS and the chance of success with other diets you've tried is gigantic. You shouldn't even try to compare them really. Kind of like the chances of curing cancer with good thoughts and vitamin C versus chemo and radiation. You're bringing on the BIG GUNS. Work it!
You know the risks - they are low. Lower if you prepare by losing weight before surgery and walking etc. to get yourself as healthy as possible beforehand.
As for being afraid of being successful - that's GOOD fear! BE AFRAID!! And let that fear MOTIVATE you to follow the rules. Everytime you're tempted to cheat on the "plan", pull up that fear and WALK AWAY FROM THE FRIDGE.
The difference between the chance of success with WLS and the chance of success with other diets you've tried is gigantic. You shouldn't even try to compare them really. Kind of like the chances of curing cancer with good thoughts and vitamin C versus chemo and radiation. You're bringing on the BIG GUNS. Work it!
Proud Member of the Cambridge Crew! 
HW293/LW147/CW158 Height 5'9" Working on Maintenance!
Fleur de lis TT and Brachioplasty - Oct. 19, 2010 Breast reduction and scar revision August 2, 2011
HW293/LW147/CW158 Height 5'9" Working on Maintenance!
Fleur de lis TT and Brachioplasty - Oct. 19, 2010 Breast reduction and scar revision August 2, 2011
I was scared of those things too.
The first part is hard. I was terrified of leaving my husband alone. In the end, I dealt with it by preparing for it. I got my will and living will in order. I wrote letters to my loved ones, I got my financials in order. I even made sure that I had found a funeral home that could handle a funeral and cremation for someone of my size so my husband could be spared of that. I talked it out with by best friend, who promised that in the worst case scenario, he would make sure my husband was emotionally taken care of. The terrible irony of this is that it was my best friend who passed away quite suddenly, and inexplicably, less than three weeks after my surgery.
You will be successful in taking weight off. You can not help but take weight off. Will you guarantee to get to goal? nope. Is there a possibility it will come back? yup. But one thing for sure.... the more you do to get your head (not just your gut) in the game, the more likely you are to be successful. Doing a real honest inventory to really get real and honest with yourself - if no one else - of how you got to where you are will help you find strategies to ensure your success. We all have issues, around our bodies, food, shame, loss, lonliness, whatever it is that drives us. And most of us have those issues for very valid reasons. Coming to terms with them, accepting them, and learning to cope in a different way, is what moves us down the road to a healthier future.
You can do it. You just have to know you can. You are worthy of success.
Best,
~Mo
The first part is hard. I was terrified of leaving my husband alone. In the end, I dealt with it by preparing for it. I got my will and living will in order. I wrote letters to my loved ones, I got my financials in order. I even made sure that I had found a funeral home that could handle a funeral and cremation for someone of my size so my husband could be spared of that. I talked it out with by best friend, who promised that in the worst case scenario, he would make sure my husband was emotionally taken care of. The terrible irony of this is that it was my best friend who passed away quite suddenly, and inexplicably, less than three weeks after my surgery.
You will be successful in taking weight off. You can not help but take weight off. Will you guarantee to get to goal? nope. Is there a possibility it will come back? yup. But one thing for sure.... the more you do to get your head (not just your gut) in the game, the more likely you are to be successful. Doing a real honest inventory to really get real and honest with yourself - if no one else - of how you got to where you are will help you find strategies to ensure your success. We all have issues, around our bodies, food, shame, loss, lonliness, whatever it is that drives us. And most of us have those issues for very valid reasons. Coming to terms with them, accepting them, and learning to cope in a different way, is what moves us down the road to a healthier future.
You can do it. You just have to know you can. You are worthy of success.
Best,
~Mo
Well said everyone...I love the advice compassion and encouraging words I find here...
Dave I have those same fears heading into my surgery date. My daughter came home today from school and told me she had, had a panic attack thinking about my surgery and the "what ifs" surrounding it. So I explained to her that with co morbidities (diabetes and Neuropathy) I would continue to have poor quality of life and a shortened life expectancy. Which is the way I look at it. The minimal risk is far less than the certainty of additional co morbidities as I get older. If that makes sense.
I think it is normal to be concerned but ther
Dave I have those same fears heading into my surgery date. My daughter came home today from school and told me she had, had a panic attack thinking about my surgery and the "what ifs" surrounding it. So I explained to her that with co morbidities (diabetes and Neuropathy) I would continue to have poor quality of life and a shortened life expectancy. Which is the way I look at it. The minimal risk is far less than the certainty of additional co morbidities as I get older. If that makes sense.
I think it is normal to be concerned but ther
JJ_
on 1/18/12 12:27 pm
on 1/18/12 12:27 pm
Hey Dave,
Like Mo (flyingwoman), I too prepared for any eventualities. What is nice is that my will is updated and so are my powers of attorney (medical care and financial) and I am still alive!!
I too have not been successful at losing weight and keeping it off. This surgery provides you with a better tool to deal with it. I am eating nutritionally well post-op and my meals are so small there is no way I could gain weight due to the amount of what I am eating.
Just take things one day at a time. You do not have to handle the big scary future all at once. Eat it in daily blocks! LOL (no calories that way either!).
All the best.
Judy
Like Mo (flyingwoman), I too prepared for any eventualities. What is nice is that my will is updated and so are my powers of attorney (medical care and financial) and I am still alive!!
I too have not been successful at losing weight and keeping it off. This surgery provides you with a better tool to deal with it. I am eating nutritionally well post-op and my meals are so small there is no way I could gain weight due to the amount of what I am eating.
Just take things one day at a time. You do not have to handle the big scary future all at once. Eat it in daily blocks! LOL (no calories that way either!).
All the best.
Judy
Hi Dave,
Your fears are totally normal and justified. Like you my WLS was my firt surgery and I was scared ****less about all of the what if's. Tomorrow is my 1 month WLS anniversary and I can tell you that without a ounce of doubt this was the best decision I have ever made for myself, my wife and our four kids.
Like you, I have lots of people that depend on me being around and my WLS will definitely help to make sure I am.
The fears of complications during surgery and being put under are normal. You need to focus on the end goal and you will overcome the fears. These doctors are the best.
As far as weightless, like the others said, the results will blow your mind! If you stick to the program, do what your told and be active you will lose weight like never before!
I hope my two cents has helped.
Stay active on the OH site, ask lots of questions and you will find your journey a great experience.
All the best.
Harold
Your fears are totally normal and justified. Like you my WLS was my firt surgery and I was scared ****less about all of the what if's. Tomorrow is my 1 month WLS anniversary and I can tell you that without a ounce of doubt this was the best decision I have ever made for myself, my wife and our four kids.
Like you, I have lots of people that depend on me being around and my WLS will definitely help to make sure I am.
The fears of complications during surgery and being put under are normal. You need to focus on the end goal and you will overcome the fears. These doctors are the best.
As far as weightless, like the others said, the results will blow your mind! If you stick to the program, do what your told and be active you will lose weight like never before!
I hope my two cents has helped.
Stay active on the OH site, ask lots of questions and you will find your journey a great experience.
All the best.
Harold
SW 291 GW 199.9 CW 180 Surgery: TWH Dr. Penner Dec 20 2011
Celebrating life and opportunities for new beginings!!!
Dave,i totally get it. Honestly. this is a huge freaking deal,and you should be scared. That being said, you will be successful at losing a large amount of weight. You may not keep it off, you may not get to goal, those things aren't guaranteed, it takes a lot of work. But you can do it. You can get all the support you can muster up from friends, family, this forum, etc, and you CAN be successful.
Re: pain after surgery, i had none. I took the drugs they offered in hospital, but that was mostly to help me sleep, i had an awfully noisy room mate. You may have more pain than i, it seems most do, but its not a given that this will be extremely painful.
All of us have failed at so many weight loss attempts, but Erica's given a good analogy. This is one of THE BEST weight loss sollutions out there. You'll be successful at losing weight with this. I promise (don't promise the goal or keeping it off, that's up to you. the initial stuff is allllll about the surgery)
Re: pain after surgery, i had none. I took the drugs they offered in hospital, but that was mostly to help me sleep, i had an awfully noisy room mate. You may have more pain than i, it seems most do, but its not a given that this will be extremely painful.
All of us have failed at so many weight loss attempts, but Erica's given a good analogy. This is one of THE BEST weight loss sollutions out there. You'll be successful at losing weight with this. I promise (don't promise the goal or keeping it off, that's up to you. the initial stuff is allllll about the surgery)
Well Said everyone!!
Dave, even though I haven't had my WLS yet I totally understand how you are feeling. Once I have this surgery it will be my 5th time being put out for surgery.
Each time I was more nervous of the IV's being put in than anything. I felt confident in the doctors/surgeons and team I had for each one. The process for this is so different than any other surgery I have other had. Try to remember that the team is ready to do surgery on you but first they are making sure you are ready for them.
Good luck on your journey and keep in touch even if its to vent a little bit. :)
Dave, even though I haven't had my WLS yet I totally understand how you are feeling. Once I have this surgery it will be my 5th time being put out for surgery.
Each time I was more nervous of the IV's being put in than anything. I felt confident in the doctors/surgeons and team I had for each one. The process for this is so different than any other surgery I have other had. Try to remember that the team is ready to do surgery on you but first they are making sure you are ready for them.
Good luck on your journey and keep in touch even if its to vent a little bit. :)
Most Active
Recent Topics
