Coming Down off the High: Post-Op Reality Setting In

Disclaimer:  I am fully aware that this is a negative, whining and *****ing post, but I just needed to get it off my chest!  :)

I remember once quite a while ago, someone made a post about how at a certain point after WLS, all the fanfare is gone, and it is really about settling in and following the routine of post-op life.  I am just over 17 months out, and this is really sinking in.  This is the new normal.  The weight loss has slowed to a snail-like pace.  In fact, for the most part it has stopped.  I still have 22 more pounds to my personal goal and don't feel like I'll ever get there.  Maybe I won't.  Who knows?  Right now I seem to lose about3-4 pounds every 3 months.  I have to say that I'm feeling a little bit let down.  I want to get down to 150, and somehow 172, just doesn't feel like enough anymore.  Am I crazy?  Am I being greedy?

I have been really happy with how my body has looked.  Up to this point, I have felt positively svelte!  I am wearing a med/large, and a 12/14.  I can shop in any store.  HOWEVER, I am having self esteem issues lately.  I don't feel happy with my body anymore.  It's like I am coming down off a high and seeing reality- the aftermath of loosing 156 pounds....and I don't like it.  I am even having trouble shopping lately.  Nothing appeals to me, and I don't feel good in anything. I leave the store with nothing in hand- which just shocks the hell out of my husband who thought I'd be tearing up the malls!  Isn't it funny how all my life I wanted to be the size I am at now- and I can still be unhappy with the way I look!!  It just goes to show that our perception has everything to do with how we feel in our skin.  I think it is 10% physical, and 90% outlook/perception.

Did anyone else experience this "let down"?  I know I will pick myself up again.  I know these feeling are temporary, and that everyone has lows.  I just want to feel that weight loss "high" again. 

First of all, Congratulations on losing 157 lbs. That is an amazing feat in and of itself. I very much admire the work you have put in so far, and recognize the frustrations of weight loss that slows to a crawl. It's so frustrating.

I don't have much advice for you, seeing as I am still at the beginning of my journey. I still have that 150 to lose. I still have trouble with stairs, tying my shoes, and chasing my toddler. Save for perhaps, examine every area of exercise and diet and see if there is anything else that need to be tweaked.

I admire that you likely don't have the physical troubles that you have left behind with your weightloss. Did you keep a list of how it was at the beginning? It would be so helpful to see again how far you have come.

Keep it up, you're doing a great job.

Jen

Jen,

Thanks for the post and the encouragement .  Please don't think that I don't appreciate where I have come from and where I am now.  I really do.  I am so very grateful to be down to an almost normal weight.  It has made everything a whole lot easier.  The point of my post was more to wonder at how I could have come this far and yet still be unsatisfied and still criticize myself for not being as thin as I'd like to be.  When I was morbidly obese I was really convinced that every problem I had was linked directly or indirectly to my excess weight.  I was pretty darned convinced that all I had to do was shed the weight, and I'd be rid of these problems.  But clearly, a lot of the problem is the way I think.  Clearly, if it was the only weight, then I wouldn't be unhappy with my appearance.  It is still a problem that hasn't disappeared and that despite the weight loss, I haven't conquered.  During the rapid weight loss stage, for me, there was such a feeling of confidence, and I didn't have to deal with these feelings, but surprise surprise.  I am still the same me- the girl who too often compares herself to others, the girl who is more critical of herself than anyone else, and the girl who needs to learn to accept the good and the bad in herself.  Surgery was a physical thing, but I am realizing that beyond that, there is still a lot of emotional work I need to do.  That's all. 

I don't think you're not grateful :) It just never hurts to be reminded how much progress we've made, to give us strength for the rest of the journey ;)

Agreed.

could a portion ofr the weight be excess skin?
that will never leave without plastics.
good luck and chin up!

spence

Oh, likely it is.  As for plastics....maybe when I win the lottery!  haha

 Hate to be the bearer of bad news.   Sometimes we assume after plastics we will be perfect.  There are several girls who have gone I think with some pretty high expectations of becoming the person who the fat took so much away from.   Doesn't work that way.  I personally am thrilled with my own plastics, but there is reality to everything.  Keep up the good work :)

Bonnie

Yup.  When I think of plastics, I am always conflicted with the thoughts of looking better in clothes, versus all the scars I would likely have under my arms, between my thighs, across my stomach.  Any of the scars I have accumuated over the years have all turned keloidal.  I don't scar well, so that would be a big issue for me to consider.  Also, I am not sure when I'll be ready to go under the knife again.

Honestly, I think that those who may be single, or those that think they need to be in a bikini really care about scars.  I wanted to look normal.  I don't care about scars.   The surgeon I chose does an amazing job on incision lines, but really, it's been two years, hard to see many of them.   It's a huge decision.  RNY was to save my life, but to choose to have surgery  again, that yeah.. was a few more thoughts. But in this whole journey, I wanted to look normal.    I chose to also have all of mine done at once, one surgery, one recovery.   Just my decision.  Didn't have to rob a bank for it either, I am grateful.

Bonnie