Coming Down off the High: Post-Op Reality Setting In

Hi Marny

I particularly agree with your comments regarding our / my perception that excess weight was the root of all problems.  In a lot of cases it was true, but of course not always; and I am beginning to realize was definitely not the ONLY cause.  It's hard to swallow the reality that weight loss doesn't fix everything, but BOY DOES IT HELP! 

I keep a list of all the positives on my desk that I read through every so often - from biggies like no sleep apnea and no more wheel chair, to getting into a bath tub or going for a walk with my husband and he tires out first :)  I find it keep things in perspective when I'm low or frustrated.

I've also tried to identify some of my weaknesses which WLS hasn't solved (haha), and picked a couple that I'm using the skills I've developed over the past 15 months for weight loss (making a plan, being accountable, tracking results) to see if I can work on THEM.  It's actually helping.  For example, I think I'm much more patient and kinder with my family now, which is making day to day living more pleasant - and interestingly I think they are trying harder too in response.

Revel in what you've accomplished - it's deserved, and it's amazing.  You are entitled to be proud of yourself - which for those of us who have been too big for so long may be a hard thing to accept.  Once you can really feel that, the pride, maybe the rest will start to fall into place.

And keep posting stuff like this!  It helps all of us.

Claire

I am only six months out but I too am my biggest critic Marny. Unfortunately surgery doesn't fix that. I found myself looking at myself in the mirror last week in a pair size 10 capris(down from size 22) complaining about how fat I looked in them. My daughter actually said to me "Mom give your head a shake!"
It is hard to get away from the critical and move on to focus on the positives of the 157 pounds you lost. Keep up the amazing work that you've obviously been doing! And remember to stay positive!
Hugs
Cher

PS ..... And, by the way, how's your stomach?  Is the Preacid helping?

Claire

It ishelping a ton.  I am seeing the surgeon on Tuesday.  Thanks for asking.  :)

Vent away .... it's so much easier to let it out and get support from others be it if they are experiencing the same or those that are there just to support. 
I haven't had my surgery yet and I already know I'm going to have issue with extra skin. I keep telling myself that it will be fine I can where spanks and what not to mask it. I figure I'm a pro now at hiding the extra weight why not become a pro with extra skin. lol
Maybe you and I can win the same lottery and have plastics together. I keep teasing family and friends that in a year I'm going to hold a fundraiser to help pay for plastics. lol Everytime I support my friends kids fundraisers at their schools I tell them to keep a total because they owe me that for plastics. LOL
Hmmm I wonder if anyone has ever had a fundraiser for plastics? HMMMM lmao

I have a feeling you will feel the weight loss high again when you experience new things for the first time that you couldn't do before.
I'm so proud of you Marny.

 I truly understand. I still look at myself and see me as fat and not happy with my weight. I want to lose 10 pounds and i just can not seem to do it.  I truly believe if I could afford to have tummy tuck I would feel better about how I look.  When I look at myself I see this fat { I know it is not fat loose skin} and I think when are are you going to lose the weight and be skinny. It is also so hard when you first start out you have everyone telling you look great and that comes to an end and you start to live as a normal person. People are not going to keep telling us how great we are doing and learning to live as a normal skinny person is hard. I often wonder when will I be happy with me and say I look good. I am not there yet but maybe one day I will. I hope it will happen to you also. Who ever thinks that we took the easy way out is so wrong. Nothing easy about this journey and I hope your journey will continue down the road you want.

I had to laugh about the shopping and not finding anything you liked.  How different it is from being large and can only buy stuff at one store (Penningtons), and settled for something that fit as opposed to be the best for us.

Glad to see that you are feeling better after venting.

Judy

Ack!  I know, eh?  When I HAD to shop at Penningtons, it was kind of easy in a way because there were limited choices.  Nowadays, I kind of feel lost in the mall with all of the choices.  I know....it is a lovely problem to have.  However, it IS a problem.  My classroom heats up in the afternoons, and because it is an older building, the air conditioner is less than effective,  so I have been really hot lately.  The last 2 nights in a row I have gone looking for dressess, and I get so overwhelmed, I just wander around like I'm lost!  This is weird for me as I have always loooooove to shop for clothes.  I'm sure I'll figure it out soon though.  I had so many handmedowns from a fellow RNY'er, that I haven't had to buy anything fo some time....I'm sure I'll get back into the swing of things with a little more effort!  :)

So many say we had the surgery on our inners and not on our heads.  You may not know this but I love reading your posts, you really are an inspiration.  I loved the pills in the containers right in sight.  Find some old pictures and have a look at how happy you were on the outside, but perhaps no so much on the inside.  You've come a long way baby!  Runner, mentor, teacher!  Breathe and maybe a shopping trip to the states, it always makes me happier.  They have so much more variety.  If that doesn't help maybe a trip to Victoria Secret?  A whole new you, your mind just needs to catch up.  You are allow a low but not too long.    Diane

Thank you.  That made my day :)