Distraught

I am a bit apprehensive to write on such a public (but fantastic) forum.

I am 10 weeks post op and today was one of the roughest days in recent memory. I never thought of myself as an emotional eater but I got a wake up call today! (I did Craving Change)

My Mom stepped out on my Step Dad last year and this has caused huge issues in the fam, especially since she's basically moved in with this guy and using my Step Dad for all he's worth.

I decided, along with my siblings that we were going to stick by our Step Dad. This did not sit well with my grandparents (maternal) and I was told today over a voicemail that I am a pathetic, worthless, sad piece of **** I needed to get all my belongings and move out that I am not only not love, but hated and I cease to exist to that side.

I am devastated even though I know they're toxic. If I had been pre op, I'd be knee deep in donuts and wallowing. Instead, I was wallowing with fantasies. They can't take this gift from me.

I am so sad and angry, hurt. I feel like my grandparents and my mom died today, they never want to see me again.

Thanks for reading, I think I need an ultrasound of see I have a hernia from moving all my university books. Ugh. Sigh.

(((((HUGE HUGS)))))

I'm sorry today sucked. I know I can't just say "it'll get better" and that'll help, but from dealing with an insane amount of back and forth with my mother and step father, I can tell you this - at some point, you'll just find the place you're okay being in, and that'll be that.

Here's hoping tomorrow will be better. 

Sounds like a very difficult situation Chelsea....and especially difficult as you are newly out from surgery....10 weeks isn't that long and you are still healing

I am so glad you didn't eat your feelings........

Stay strong...family **** is the worst. on the emotions.....but you are stronger as evidenced by your decision to have WLS.....

Keep yourself a priority......try and go for walks when the tension gets bad......and know you will come out OK on the other side

 

Good luck

 

Hello. Just wanted to say how proud you should be of coming through so much. The surgery alone (& subsequent hormone shift) led me to seek help from a counsellor (so glad it did, actually). Don't be afraid to seek help (someone to talk it all out with) if you need. YOU and your health need to be your first priority right now.

People can be so cruel, especially family.

I think the advice of seeking a counselor is good.  I had a traumatic family experience during my pre-op time and the SW flagged it as an opportunity to talk to someone and sort things out now.

You're right, don't let them rob you of your well being, both physical and emotional!

Hugs

Jo

 

You are going through so much right now. I hope you have other support people to talk to. Try to focus on you right now you need it.

I wish you well going forward

oh jebus. ((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))) i am so sorry for all that you're going through.

 

You will, (like someone else said) get to a place where you're ok with this.

 

Remember to surround yourself with people who are positive and support you. You don't need toxic relationships in your life.

Sending you a tremendous hug. Family can be cruel when facing troubled times. Mine abandoned me when my mother passed away. They are toxic to me now. Talk it out with a counsellor. Keep positive.

All good advice from everyone on here hun.. I just wanted to say i am sorry that this is happening and i wish you well....Krista..

There are a lot of pieces in this which make the situation complicated.  But for no reason should they have abused you like that.  I'm assuming that you have told your Mom, either by yourself or with your siblings, that you don't agree with how she is treating your step dad.  Whether she heard you or not is another thing, and I don't know how much your grandparents know, or are willing to accept right now.  They may only know your Mom's spin on the situation.  Not that it's an excuse.

Stay strong, and if you need to, find a counselor/therapist.  Someone to talk to about this situation.  There is no shame in that.  If you don't know where to start, contact your clinic.  They should be able to guide you to someone.  Lean on your siblings, together you can get through this.

Cathy