I cheated :(
Thank you for sharing that. I appreciate it.
still trying to settle my fears.
this journey is such a head game. I don't mean that in a bad way. It's just makes you realize to be successful at this you have to be honest, positive and motivated to the process. I find staying connected to here is important for me too. Even just reading the forums to keep my self checked
I am concern how so many people say it is fine. Even though it is fine and you will get the surgery you really better sit down and think am I ready to make the changes that need to be made to be a success. You did not have just one slip up but two and that concerns me. You need to figure out why and what you can do so you are not making the same mistakes after surgery. I will tell you right now that you are at the easy stage and many times I wish I could go back on Opti. It is afterwards that the real work begins. This is not a magic cure. It is work and hard work. It is a life change that is if you want to keep the weight off. In case you don't know you can put the weight all back on. So no it is not ok that you cheated. Figure it out now why you did it. Maybe you are just not ready or taking it serious.

Thank you for your feed back.
I believe this is the first time we have had any interaction. So it's fair to say they you aren't aware of how long I have been considering this and any concerns I have had.
I am well aware that it is not fine.
I think you can see in the above messages that others don't think it's fine either. But they are saying shake it off and get my head back into the game.
I am scared. I am worried I can't do it. But I'm also scared of staying 400 pounds.
I have done a lot of soul searching about this. So If you think I'm just fluffing it off and not taking this serious you are mistaken.
being obese I have developed years and years of mindless eating habits. I have been working on them and it's apparent that I need to continue to work on them. The two times I did cheat I was in uncomfortable situations. So I am proud of myself that I have sat down and thought about why and how and what leaded to it. At no point in my journey to surgery have I ever thought this was easy and I'm well aware it doesn't get easier anytime soon. I don't believe the people a over are fluffing it off either. Most of them are ppl I have interacted with before and know somewhat my feeling for this surgery are.
This is a journey of learning, accepting myself, standing up for me, understanding and changing bad habits that have developed in 20 years. I am not prefect, but I am trying.I will not say I won't fall again. But I will make sure I get back up again and keep trying and look at why what and how I fell and keep growing.
So, once again. Thank you for your feedback. I am serious and ready.
cheers M
We all make mistakes. It is over and done with. Do what I am already doing and no one is allowed in my home during my opti time unless they bring their own water and cucumbers to share.
Small Steps, one day at a time and we will get there. Keep your eye on the prize!
Referral Summer 2012, Orientation June 10/13 HRRH, Dr Hagen July 3/13, Dr Glazer, RN/RD/SW September 19/13, Dr Hagen October 10/13, Surgery January 21/14
http://images.obesityhelp.com/uploads/profile/370613/tickers/robynrne2b9ddd6b097c6ab0185ec57651b7f22.png?1392080601
HW 290 Opti Start Weight 280.9 Surgery Weight 264.8 CW 207

Thanks Robyn.
my girls know this and I actually ended it w Damean. Figured may a well start completely fresh . But in serious we been having issues for a bit so it ok.