OT:The Dance of Intimacy

Coming Back to Center in a Relationship

Anyone in a long-term relationship knows that the dance of intimacy involves coming together and moving apart. Early in a relationship, intense periods of closeness are important in order to establish the ground of a new union. Just as a sapling needs a lot more attention than a full-grown tree, budding relationships demand time and attention if they are to fully take root. Once they become more established, the individuals in the union begin to turn their attention outward again, to the other parts of their lives that matter, such as work, family, and friendships. This is natural and healthy. Yet, if a long-term relationship is to last, turning towards one another recurrently, with the same curiosity, attention, and nurturance of earlier times, is essential.

In a busy and demanding world full of obligations and opportunities, we sometimes lose track of our primary relationships, thinking they will tend to themselves. We may have the best intentions when we think about how nice it would be to surprise our partner with a gift or establish a weekly date night. Yet somehow, life gets in the way. We may think that our love is strong enough to survive without attention. Yet even mature trees need water and care if they are to thrive.

One of the best ways to nourish a relationship is through communication. If you feel that a distance has grown between you and your partner, you may be able to bridge the gap by sharing how you feel. Do your best to avoid blame and regret. Focus instead on the positive, which is the fact that you want to grow closer together. Sometimes, just acknowledging that there is distance between you has the effect of bringing the relationship into balance. In other cases, more intense effort and attention may be required. You may want to set aside time to talk and come up with solutions together. Remember to have compassion for each other. You’re in the same boat together and trying to maintain the right balance of space and togetherness to keep your relationship healthy and thriving. Express faith and confidence in each other, and enjoy the slow dance of intimacy that can resume between the two of you.

What do you think?

Communication is very important, and not always easy to do.

Jeane

You asked me what I think and I will let you know, Darlene. I think that you have hit the nail on the head with this one. I needed to hear this and I know I do every once in a while. My bet is that I am not alone in that either.

Thanks so much for doing me the favor you did.

I think we both subscribe to the same newsletter!   They are so inspiring!  Thank you for posting them here.

Linda

I have always said they came from one of my newsletter I receive, I won't post those that I think will cause a ruckus or comotion.....

These, the horoscropes and the music I get daily

Do you get your music from the same website you get the newsletter from ?   

Thanks so much for posting these here. I don't always get to read them in my email, but I do here.   They are always so uplifting!

Linda

yes daily they have clips of a featured album, mostly old ones that time has forgotten or of people never heard of, many different clutures also, I have lots of them from here that I use for my bellydance/fire dance.  I listen to the clips then go to Limewire.

Ya know, my husband and I have been married for 24 years.  It's the second time around for both of us and we have a date night most every week.  We have six kids between the two of us, two still at home and we need to get together and figure out "why" we are still doing this after all these years.  It aint broke, so we won't fix it!
Thanks for the post.
Reggie

Thanks Darlene........this is something we all need to remember.

Hugs....connie d

Thanks Darlene - how timely that I read this today.  Last night our church had a viewing of the movie "Firestorm", which is basically the same message.  George and I celebrated 37 years of marriage on the 5th.  A relationship, especially marriage, is work but so worth the effort!  We don't have an official date night, but do several things together (fish, baseball games, basket ball games, shopping trips to WalMart, strolls through farmers markets) and manage to each have some alone time too.
Debbie