too much time on my hands.

Tammy you are OHIO too? We may be talking to the same guys??? roflmao

Yes I am in ohio...Am 45 miles northwest of Dayton...The one guy that I met at a restraunt recently was dressed like a fricking nerd...He had on silky blue shorts that were real short, plus tube socks on up to his knees, and hiking boots...I told him nicely that he wasnt my type, and he got all pissy with me, called me bad names...He was a real jerk...Then I met this other guy who lives about 15 minutes away, and all he wanted to be was * Phone buddies*...Just someone to talk to when he was bored, saying he wasnt ready for a relationship because he was afraid of getting hurt again by a woman beings his wife divorced him SIX years ago...I told him that he should of long been over that and to get himself a life...I also told him that it was stupid of him to even have an account and try to meet women if he wasnt interested in a relationship...A real dickhead !!!!

Oh my Tammy ... tube socks??? WOW! My gal friend (she is 28) had a similar experience with a guy's appearance (as well as his lack of table manners) in a fairly nice restaurant. But what really upset her (actually really hurt her deeply) was that this was a "fix up" by some older classy man she knew (not his son though).

I have a real problem with men that wear T-shirts with some stupid pic or advertising on it ON a date. If he is helping out with some function and needs to wear it that is one thing, but on a date? Yet these same guys are the ones that expect a woman to be all dolled up and looking fantastic 24/7.

Another red flag is "I like flea markets" or a main profile pic of them in a ball cap and T-shirt (again with some pic or advertising on it).

I would think one would want to make a good first impression?

Yeah, I was attracting the pervs there too ... even one on the registered sex offenders list ... very scary!

What I run into are "shallow Hal's" or nutcases ... lol. I am 55 and proud of it. I am far from perfect and will admit it. These men I have (unfortunately) dealt with are not realistic and I am totally understanding why they want women 20 years younger (because they expect a perfect flawless package). I want someone who can accept me AS IS and to have fun with. Oh well ... it sucks ... lol. And I am sooooooo sick of hearing the kissing frogs crap. I think we (50 + gals) get "frogs" because the younger chickies with less mileage grab up the decent ones.

BTW ... the "options" thing works both ways ...

Poor Ben probably feels like he has opened a can of male-bashing worms.  Unfortunately there aren't any single men that I know of on this board but there are a lot of single women.

And I agree with Susan H and you, also, Ben. The options haven't been great.  We set our 'sails' to low and now our 'sails' are rising and we won't settle any longer.

I do wish you the best.  Being a widower isn't easy when you've had a good marriage.  Getting 'back out there' is harder. 

It just takes giving yourself time... lots of time and learning to laugh again.

It CAN happen.

Janet

Well Ben the next few weeks are going to be interesting.  I hope it gives you the confidence to get out there.  But sounds like you'll get out there like it or not, you're being pushed!!! lol  It's obvious to me that you are a pretty likable guy.  Enjoy the ride, and if someone special comes along you'll know, and believe me the extra skin won't matter at that point.  Best of wishes for a full and happy life.

Ben ol' buddy, I feel for ya.  I can't say I have been there, because I have been with the same wonderful woman for the last 35 years.  But I did tell her, if anything happened to her, I would grieve for a year and then, the search was on.  I am too used to living with someone.  I had two years of being remote in the military and they were h-e-doublehockeysticks.  I need company.  Someone to go to ballgames with, watch tv with, someone to cook for (I love to cook). 

Best of luck to you. 

All of these posts remind me of a movie I watched this weekend called About a Boy!  Ben, You should see it.  Recommended for the rest too!  About dating and such.  Hugh Grant and a delightful little boy. 

Another good movie is "He's Not That Into You" (just came out rental/sale. My young gal friend and I keep using one of the lines ... "maybe he lost your hut number or got eaten by a lion" ... haha