Father in law moved to hospice care
Hi Debbie,
Sorry to hear you are having a rough time, watching a parent die is so difficult. My husband and I did it with his dad and we are doing it again right now too with mine. My parents should have hospice in, the onocologist keeps asking if their sure they don't want it. It is hard to take care of yourself when this kind of thing is going on. I too find myself looking for comfort to dull the pain. Often, my husband will say to me "what do you need to feel better" I just have to reply " I don't know" .Your right on though, there is nothing to fill that void except to feel the pain and then when it is over, try to heal and find peace.
Just try to keep taking care of yourself and get the support you need to keep going.
My prayers go out to you
Phyllis
Sorry to hear you are having a rough time, watching a parent die is so difficult. My husband and I did it with his dad and we are doing it again right now too with mine. My parents should have hospice in, the onocologist keeps asking if their sure they don't want it. It is hard to take care of yourself when this kind of thing is going on. I too find myself looking for comfort to dull the pain. Often, my husband will say to me "what do you need to feel better" I just have to reply " I don't know" .Your right on though, there is nothing to fill that void except to feel the pain and then when it is over, try to heal and find peace.
Just try to keep taking care of yourself and get the support you need to keep going.
My prayers go out to you
Phyllis
Phyllis Gilbert
Sorry you're going through this. I was in Montana when my dad was dying; I got home in time to say goodbye and was there for a week before he died. He had terminal colon cancer and kidney failure and died in the hospital. He was in a lot of pain and they didn't adequately take care of the pain. At least I hope they do that for your father-in-law.
Say what you need to to him, and do what you need for yourself. We're all here for you.
Say what you need to to him, and do what you need for yourself. We're all here for you.
First of all, please know that my heart breaks for you and your family. It is always hard to let someone that we love go but for their peace it really needs to be done. Grief is a very selfish thing in that we grieve for ourselves knowing that we have to go on without those that we love. It is hard to imagine our life without them in it.
You are doing the right thing by letting him know how you feel. That helps them to cross over. I know when my Mom passed I stood there and told her that I was glad that she was my Mom and I wouldn't have wanted any one else to be my Mom. I told her that I would miss her and that she didn't have to worry about me...I would miss her terribly but I would be alright. Then I told her that it was Dad's turn to have her again. He had been waiting for her there for 33 years and now it was their turn to be together again and never to part. I firmly believe that helps them to pass over because they know that even though we will miss them terribly we will be fine.
Know that my prayers are being said for you and yours. Please know that we are here for you when you need us.
You are doing the right thing by letting him know how you feel. That helps them to cross over. I know when my Mom passed I stood there and told her that I was glad that she was my Mom and I wouldn't have wanted any one else to be my Mom. I told her that I would miss her and that she didn't have to worry about me...I would miss her terribly but I would be alright. Then I told her that it was Dad's turn to have her again. He had been waiting for her there for 33 years and now it was their turn to be together again and never to part. I firmly believe that helps them to pass over because they know that even though we will miss them terribly we will be fine.
Know that my prayers are being said for you and yours. Please know that we are here for you when you need us.
It's not what you gather, but what you scatter
that tells what kind of life you have lived.
Debbiejean
It is sad to hear of your dad. I have experienced the same situation . My dad went to Pallative care at a lovely Hospice several weeks ago. He passed away May 30/2009. The time he spent there was so much better for our family. He was in a new building, it had a sofa and comfortable chairs for family and friends, which made our life easier. He was 90 and up until the day he died he still had all his WIT'S about him. It is so difficult to see a loved one start to detieorate, before your eyes, but I am so glad he did not end his days in the hospital, It was a time our family shared to let him go....
It was not easy but so humane. No visiting hours, anytime was O.K, no regular meal times...eat when and if you are hungry, no tubes or drains etc. and he became very loving to all of us. He would take our hand and bring it to his lips and kiss our hands....it was a great way for him to end his days.
We are sad he is gone, and we will miss him and his funny jokes forever, and the nine o'clock phone call's to my sister and me. I hope you can have a positive experience with your dad and will gradually be able to let him go and rest in peace. I am so sorry you have to go through this and hope you have support for yourself. I know you will never forget him, as he will always be with you in the reminising of his memories of all of you with him in a happier time. Bless You Lola
It is sad to hear of your dad. I have experienced the same situation . My dad went to Pallative care at a lovely Hospice several weeks ago. He passed away May 30/2009. The time he spent there was so much better for our family. He was in a new building, it had a sofa and comfortable chairs for family and friends, which made our life easier. He was 90 and up until the day he died he still had all his WIT'S about him. It is so difficult to see a loved one start to detieorate, before your eyes, but I am so glad he did not end his days in the hospital, It was a time our family shared to let him go....
It was not easy but so humane. No visiting hours, anytime was O.K, no regular meal times...eat when and if you are hungry, no tubes or drains etc. and he became very loving to all of us. He would take our hand and bring it to his lips and kiss our hands....it was a great way for him to end his days.
We are sad he is gone, and we will miss him and his funny jokes forever, and the nine o'clock phone call's to my sister and me. I hope you can have a positive experience with your dad and will gradually be able to let him go and rest in peace. I am so sorry you have to go through this and hope you have support for yourself. I know you will never forget him, as he will always be with you in the reminising of his memories of all of you with him in a happier time. Bless You Lola
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