Dreams and keeping an open mind
I was with my mom when she died at 59 from esophageal cancer. Mom's bedroom was filled with people and it was way too busy in there, I went upstairs to take a nap when I came down I told everyone else to leave so I could have my time with mom. Mom had told me once before that she wanted me to be with her when she died. I knew in my heart she would not die with a room full of people in her bedroom. My sister has a tendency to be a "diva" and she was crying and telling mom to "go to the light", I told my sister she needed a nap and to go rest. After I cleared the room, I told mom it was okay to go now. Be with her son who died at 18 in a car accident. Mom took one more breath and she died...peacefully in my arms.
Of course my family was totally pissed at me for not calling them in the room and I told them I didn't have the time to do so. To this day I don't see my siblings...but that's a whole other story.
I am not posting this to be flammed so please people, just read what I am saying and sigh if you must but don't be mean to me.
I don't believe in life after death but I know how important it is for some to feel the need to think that death isn't the end. When my mother died and I was a child, I remember going to see her body and her hands were so white. I wanted to touch them and I did and she was so cold. That night, I went to sleep thinking about her and wishing they didn't have to bury her in the cold ground and hoping that her coffin wouldn't leak and that the bugs would leave her alone, all those things that horrify children and when I finally did go to sleep, I dreamed about her and she was just a few feet away from me and I was trying to get to her and she kept moving back and I held out my hands and right before we touched, I woke up. Now, back then, I thought it was my mother coming back to me and for weeks I tried to will that dream back, but just as elusive as she was in the dream was the revival of that dream. I still dream about her and in those dreams she is always a few feet away and I am trying to get to her but when I wake up, I am not traumatized by her like I was as a child. I can only say that I am extremely sorry for your loss. I, too, am saddened that I was not at my mother's side when she passed and regret not getting home from school fast enough to make it to her. I don't know that it would have made a difference to her, but I do know that it would have made a difference to me.
I hope you have many more peaceful dreams and that you are able to find comfort in your beliefs.
No flaming you lightswitch at all. We all have different beliefs and I think that's wonderful that we are not all the same. Life sure would be boring.
I'm sorry you lost your mom so young. Yes, it's totally normal how you felt as a child.
I took extra care to explain great-grandpa's death to Rozi my 7 yr old granddaughter. She did well at the funeral home and the funeral. The joy and circle of life continues for our family. It was nice watching the great grand-kids play and life continues on....
May you have a wonderful day. Each day for me is getting better. Yes...life continues on~
Now this is something. When I was a child, my best friend forever's name was Rozi--short for Roselyn. How neat is that.
I know that when my Aunt died, we were all sitting around remembering her and my grandchildren were near me and they were playing with my cousins grands and we laughed and laughed at how we could remember being that young and playing when our moms were sitting around talking. Perpetuation of life can always be remembered at the saddest of times. I think my greatest assets are my children and their children. I am also reminded that my mother lives through them. Baby Girl has her hair and face, Kobe has her eyes, and mathew and jacob have her dimples.
