OT:Receiving a Gift with Grace

Darlene
on 7/21/09 10:29 pm
This seems to fit a lot of people I know. Not just WLS people but those that have not had surgery. And Yes, I know regular people too...


Accepting Compliments

Many of us find it difficult to accept compliments but easy to believe the slightest criticism. Today, right now, let’s make a choice to fully accept compliments as we would a gift. Sincere compliments are gifts of praise. They are kudos given for wise choices or accomplishments or perhaps for just letting your light shine. There is no reason not to accept the gift of a kind word, but some of us argue against them, even giving reasons why they aren’t true.

If we visualize the energy of a compliment, we would see beautiful, shining, positive energy being sent from the giver. That energy, if accepted graciously, would brighten our personal energy field. Our gratitude then returns to the giver as warm, fuzzy, glowing energy, completing an even circuit of good feelings. But if we reject a compliment, what could have been a beautiful exchange becomes awkward and uncomfortable, making it a negative experience instead. Misplaced modesty can ruin the joy of sharing this connection with another person. But we can accept a compliment and still be modest by simply saying “thank you." However, if compliments are rejected due to a lack of self-esteem, then the first step would be to start believing good things about yourself. Try giving yourself compliments in the mirror. Beyond the initial feelings of silliness, you will notice how good it feels and can watch the smile it puts on your face. The next step would be to see how it feels to gi! ve compliments to others. Notice how great you feel when you’ve made another person’s face brighten and how differently you feel when the gift you’ve offered is rejected. Having experienced all sides, you will be ready to play along fully and willingly.

We are our harshest critics. When we accept compliments, we are reminded that others see us through different eyes. All living beings crave positive attention, and we all deserve to have positive energy shared with us. Perhaps if we happily and gratefully accept compliments, we will give others permission to do so as well.

Women are angels.
...and when someone breaks our wings, we simply continue to fly...on a broomstick.

We are flexible.

Darlene
 


Debbiejean
on 7/21/09 11:16 pm - Shelbyville, MI

Amen Sister!!

Accepting compliments was really hard for me to do.
Working in the hospital I had surgery in, people are watching me. They (employees) are also my biggest cheerleaders. I do know people are watching the food I chose in the cafeteria.
Some...are just waiting for me to fail at this...I won't fail!!!!!!!!

I have learned to say "Thank you" and also reply to them that they look great too.
When you are not used to getting compliments ever, then you start getting them; well lets say...I was no slouch as a fat person, I was always upbeat and happy, had my makeup on, dressed well but people "overlook" the fat person. The funny thing was I never felt "overlooked" by anyone.

I must admit, living in "the thin world" is different. I like it but I will always be that 300 pound gal inside. I will never forget where I came from.

Stephanie G.
on 7/22/09 9:19 am - Rowlett, TX
Debbie after I had my WLS I was in my hospital cafeteria one day and the HEAD of the dietary department YELLED across the cafeteria.."Stephanie G, you know you can't eat that!!"  I wanted to DIE.  I was actually having lunch with my husband that day and she saw that I had chicken fried steak on "my" tray and let me have it.  Talk about embarrassed, I wanted to run as fast as I could in the opposite direction.  It has been 3 years since I have eaten in her cafeteria and hell will freeze over before I do again.  Whenever I think about eating something I  shouldn't I think of her cuz I refuse to fail cuz she is just waiting for me to do so.

~Stephanie~
RNY revision from lapband 7/30/07...TT/BL 10/9/08 and at GOAL

Debbiejean
on 7/22/09 9:29 pm - Shelbyville, MI
Well, I don't blame you for not eating in the cafeteria. Sounds like your hospital needs to remind employees about "bariatric sensitivity training" again.

That has happened to me also. I also get that once in awhile from morons. I just reply to them "I'm not on a diet and I have embraced lifestyle change and yes, I can eat this". Then I tell them NOT to be my food police. Oh yeah...staff know me well here. I do fill in once in awhile for the bariatric sensitivity classes for new hires here because it is mandatory for them to attend, we have finally gotten our bariatric excel lance rating.

I take great pride in helping out our bariatric team, being a mentor to other WLS patients. It keeps me involved and on track always.

I would have sent that gal an email and cc'd the HR department for documentation. If she did that to you she probably does it to others. How rude and obnoxious can someone be??
Just tell her next time "You can fix stupid"...but that would be lowing yourself on her level...Just rise above the stupidity and prove them wrong...You won't fail at this and your are a success!
Connie D.
on 7/22/09 5:29 am
Darlene....I have never been good about accepting compliments. I am working hard on this and it is getting easier.

Thanks again.....HUGS....connie d
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