Fat & 50 - But am I too fat?

Okay, so I'm up from a pretty much sleepless night.  Am I simply second-guessing myself, or is this that sixth sense, spirit of discernment kicking in?  I need your feedback, OH friends and family.

I'm a 50 year old female, 5' 1" tall, now weighing the most I ever have in my life - 190 pounds, hence making my  BMI 35.9.  I'm in overall good health - no blood pressure, cholesterol, or diabetes problems.  Actually, I currently have zero comorbidity factors, though they run rampant in my family. 

All that said, per my surgeons calendar, I am now 5 weeks VSG pre-op.  I look at myself in the mirror this morning and bring myself to a stark realization - WLS will not equate to a trip to the fountain of youth.  I'm still going to be a 50-year old grandmother whose crappy genetics make her have the facial composition of a definite 55 year old.  I'm a chunky monkey, no doubt about it, but I don't exactly stand out in a crowd due to my weight issue. 

Is WLS the answer for these aching joints and this sluggish metabolism?  At the current time I would be hard pressed to walk a mile.  When comparing myself to my group of friends, I definitely migrate more to the 60 year olds vs. the 50 year olds when it comes to physical activity levels.  I simply cannot keep up.  But that has been my life-long story, even as a child.

My health insurance has a definite WLS exception, thus making me a 100% self-pay patient.  While this surgery is doable for my husband and I at this stage in our lives, it is certainly a sacrifice.  If I make that cancellation call, we could be almost debt-free by the end of the year.  My husband voices his support of my decision to go forward in this journey, but he has worked very, very hard at the goal of being debt-free.  Am I just on a guilt-trip this morning?

I have completed my initial consult, my education and nutrition classes, my psych eval, and all my labs.  The remaining pre-surgery pre-requisites are an EDG and cardio clearance.  I've currently had about $500 in out of pocket expenses, but will easily hit the $1000 mark with the deductibles for the other two tests.  Needless to say, I need to abort mission immediately if this isn't the right tool for me.   

Speaking of tools, like most of you, I have tried and failed countless diets - everything from Weigh****chers to Adipex to Atkins.  I firmly believe another fad diet is not the answer for me. 

Honestly, I feel I'm at a threshold this morning -- accept myself just as I am, vowing to not continue to pack on the pounds as I have in recent years, or I need to proceed with the plan and have this surgery. 

HELP!   Is this just a case of pre-surgery jitters or am I indeed a poor surgical candidate? 

Hugs and take a deep breath my friend.
It's your choice, your life and now you have to take the guilt factor out of having to resort to WLS to lose weight.

You will get nothing but support here. Yes you will feel better but this is just another type of diet...BUT not really, you will have a tool for life and you will have to embrace lifestyle change.
If you don't you WILL be dieting after 2 years.

So with WLS you must learn moderation, exercise and following rules for the rest of your life.
This is NOT an easy lifestyle. It's not the easy way out.

Lots of people put all their eggs in one basket thinking WLS is the magic bullet.
Today is my 3rd year surgiversary (RNY) and I'm fighting to get 10 pounds of regain off me. I'm doing it too. With help of mindful eating, opening my mind to eating suggestions for my Eating Coach, going to bariatric support groups and exercising everyday.
Yes, this is my life!
Yes, I will always have to be mindful what I put in my mouth.

What is your concern? The money? You say a lot but you do not give a reason to not have the surgery. You have gone this far and it sounds like you are getting cold feet.  The VSG is a perfect choice for someone in your BMI class, but like you have been told it is a tool. If you graze, eat high fat and sugar it will not work. This surgery only limits the amount you can take in, there is no absorption change.
I was 50 at the time I decided to have surgery (RNY) and 52 when it actually occured. I figured I am going to die at some point anyway. My children are grown so they do not need as much from me. I was not sure what I am supposed to do with the rest of my life but live it day to day. If I was going to live day to day then I needed to get that wt off because it was holding me back in too many ways. I am still 20 pounds from my goal but that is a whole lot better than 100. I am starting to live my life, I buy clothes, sew, bike, go places. Enjoy myself. All because I lost some weight I feel good. You will be surprised how good you can feel.
I hope this helped.

My personal opinion is that you are not a poor surgical candidate.  You've tried dieting without long term success.  While your BMI isn't outrageous by any means, your family history of co-morbidities would scare me.  I'm 58 right now and have lost 87 pounds.  I can keep up with my DIL's now on shopping trips etc.  I've been walking 3 miles, when before 1 mile was a real feat for me.  I feel much better, and that alone is worth what I went through.  I had my surgery (RNY) in July, 2009 and have never doubted by decision.  I can get on the floor and back up without help.  Look forward to a wonderful future of healthy living.  You will have to 'watch' what you eat, and make better choices, but it's well worth the payoff.  I had people tell me 'you're not that fat, you don't need surgery', but I knew it would improve my health.  I did have co-morbidities, but you know, they're pretty much gone now.  Weight loss improves a lot of health issues, plus with weight loss you gain the ability to move more, thus you can and will maybe enjoy some sort of exercise.
Here's wishing you the best of luck.
Jan

You are what is considered a "light weight". I am 5' 1/2" and when I had my surgery my weight was 289. You weigh less than I do now.

One of our members and I am really bad with names I think she goes by moosie has lost a lot of weight. She has not had any of the surgeries. And yes she is more than welcome here. You might want to chat her up and see how hard it was for her what which probgram she used.

No matter what you have to retrain your brain.

I am not sure why your surgeon is doing the surgery with a BMI of less than 40 and no co-morbs. Each surgeon is different as is each patient.

Good luck on what ever you decide.

Hi,
I hope I'm going to word this correctly and not offend you or anyone else....

You said you are in overall good health yet your BMI is 35.9.  A BMI that high is a major red flag for health issues as it is categorized as "obese" and almost at the "extremely obese" level.  I understand that your BP is good, and your cholesterol is ok.  Have you looked at the breakdown of your cholesterol....your LDL, HDL, Triglycerides??  How are they?  Since you have a family history of with comorbidity factors I'd be worried about something lurking in the heart, arteries,....have you had an echo of the heart or a good stress test lately?  Sometimes there are issues quietly lurking inside.
I have NO heart disease in my family history, my cholesterol has always been "ok" and pretty good for an obese person but I was shocked when something popped up on a stress test.

In my humble opinion I think you should do whatever it takes to get the weight off, get the BMI down, and ensure you are heart healthy.  If weight loss surgery is the tool that will work for you then I say go for it.  I can't speak to the special challenges or struggles before/after WLS because I have not had surgery but I do believe it is a wonderful option for many people so they can become healthy.

Best wishes on your decision and your weight loss journey
Ruth

You are asking a lot of questions and certainly have much to think about. When I was in my mid 50's my weight increased about 25 lbs. instantly when I stopped exercising because of a bad hip...taking me to a BMI of about 35. My need for a hip replacement and arthritis was not considered a co-morbidis. I had yo-yo dieted my entire life, keeping me about 50 lbs. overweight . I was tired of losing weight through extreme dieting to just regain it when I began eating normally again. My life was hell because of pain and WLS was not an option doctors would recommend because I wasn't heavy enough and my condition didn't qualify me (even though I wanted to die).

Thus, I chose to gain 25 lbs. in order to qualify for WLS. It wasn't a difficult decision at all since I had gained and lost hundreds of lbs. over my life...what's another 25 lbs? I thought. It was AWFUL putting that much weight on my already sore hip, but I was willing to go to any length to regain my life with simple goals: 1) hike again; 2) go boogie boarding again; 3) sit on the floor and play with my grandchildren.

Today I've lost 115 lbs. and have reached all my goals. WLS has given me back my life; one I want to live. My surgeons gave me back my life and now I'm willing to do anything to keep that life full, rich, happy, fun.

There are options available for you and you just need to look at all of yours and determine what is the proper road to reach your destination. None are easy and all require work, but you're definitely worth it!

All the best and welcome.

Bless your heart....this is a tough decision and one only you can make. 

I went through the same thoughts right before my surgery.  I was 58 yrs old, 5'1" and weighed 208 lbs plus I was single and a self-pay.  After my pre-op diet, I was down to 190.  Should I go through with it???  YES!!!  Sure I had lost weight, but would it stay off?  No...not with my track record.  Sure the money was an issue for me but I did not want to spend the rest of my life as wide as I was tall.  I wanted this surgery so badly that I would do whatever it took to get it.  Any regrets....NONE! It was the best thing I have ever done for myself.  I am now 60 years old..do I look 60 years old...Yes, but I feel better than I have in years.  Hopefully my decision will keep me around longer and healthier for my family...and I will be less dependent on them.  That is my main goal, to stay as independent as I can for as long as I can.

Only you can make the decision.  Good luck to you and lots of hugs and prayers sent your way.

Dee

Your subject title asks if you're too fat. I was 49 when I had my surgery and was 5-3 1/2 and 355 pounds at my heaviest. I too had tried a lot of diets and failed miserably. I went for WLS as a desperation move. My pain doc told me if I didn't lose weight, I'd end up in a wheelchair. I chose life instead.

Now, considering my knees and the failed knee replacement I've had, I may still end up in the wheelchair ... but at least I fought it the best I could.

I've lost 180 pounds, gained a half-inch in height because the disc compression in back has ceased. It was the best decision I've ever made.

It's up to you ... as you said ... accept yourself or chose a new life. You have the support of your husband, and that's important. I don't think you're a poor candidate at all. What's important is where your heart it is.

Thanks so much for all your replies and words of wisdom.  I am indeed praying for direction and continuing to seek counsel from friends just like you guys.  You're the best!